“Deep Kiss of Winter” by Gena Showalter & Kresley Cole

- Untouchable by Kresley Cole

O Lord, before I lay me down to sleep tonight

Please my one prayer answer, to set my soul a-flight

I’ve asked You for a lot over the years I know

But if you would take time out of your busy day you’ll see that I pray for this with every inch of my soul

For dear Lord, in my next life, I want to return not as a Victoria Secret’s model or as a queen bee

But as, sweet merciful Lord, a beautiful, petite yet deadly Valkyrie

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“Tempt Me At Twilight” by Lisa Kleypas 

 I want.

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“What the Duke Desires” by Jenna Petersen

A poem of apology to Jenna Petersen:

“Jenna Petersen, we love you, you rock

For an ARC you sent to us, instead of a smelly sock

Hugs and kisses have been sent your way

And we hope Sven finds you with a box of (his) unmentionables this Friday

We’re sorry we took so long to put up this post

A lot has been going on here, please don’t say we’re toast!

Our heads are hung with shame at this gaffe

Please don’t send a hitman to our offices on your behalf!”

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RMB: So Nalini, thank you for meeting us here. In the most forested area of San Franciso we could find using google maps. I assure you, that there is a deep purpose for why we have insisted that we conduct an interview with you here - totally of course, unrelated to the fact that we want to know where the Changelings live. *Lola stage whispers to Sheridan “I thought that was the sole purpose.  If not we could’ve just go back to the Honky Tonk Bar! It’s 2 for 1 night. Maybe even 3 for one if Mimi gets on that bronco again! ”  *Ahem* Okay so we lied. But we understand you probably have some sort of promise going on not to expose, more importantly, the Alpha Changelings to human females so we have devised a way to assist you out of this conundrum. But first, tell us -

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For those of you unfamiliar with this particular thread of posts, once in a while, the RipMyBodice girls get together over a few bottles of fine aged whisky, fried chicken and pancakes to muse about what they have read, what they wish they didn’t and what they wish they could. Any authors, editors, publishers lurkin’  about on this website, take note! We offer up potential best sellers after the jump, inspired by our favourite holiday of all time, Halloween (when else can a girl get lucky with a vampire, werewolf or demon?):

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“The Tycoon’s Rebel Bride” by Maya Banks

Some producer/writer in Hollywood should totally come up with a made for TV series feature bonanza based on these bite sized mini Romance novels served up by Silhouette. Compelling stuff. Maybe feature it on Hallmark since not only do the plots feature happily ever afters (thus fulfilling the feel-good element) but also, important life lessons. Take for example “The Tycoon’s Rebel Bride” wherein I have learnt that it is important and possible, to go for what you want in life. Who cares if you end up looking like some desperate, crazed psychotic woman? It’s called focus.

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“Flyboy” by Karen Foley

DATE: October 19, 2009

NOMINATION FORM FILLED IN BY: La Lola / Sheridan Sakura Carlotta / Ma’mselle Mimi

THIS BOOK IS A: Historical / Scottish Historical / Contemporary / Paranormal / Others (It’s a superfreak, superfreak)

STATUS: Sober

WHAT ARE YOU NOMINATING: That this month’s leftover petty cash goes to Sheridan’s bid to buy those Louboutin leopard print booties. And also that the below mentioned candidate be entered into the ripmybodice.com Alpha Hall Of Many Candy Hottness

WHY: Mama Sheridan needs a new pair of shoes for autumn duh!

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE: Pistacchio gelato ice-cream!

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Nervously we waited at our table, our eyes trained to the door of the classy establishment we insisted Gena Showalter meet us at to conduct the interview. While Mimi trotted off to get the girls another round of drinks, Sheridan checked a sweaty pit while wondering if she should have applied a double dose of deodorant. It was the RipMyBodice girls’ first ever interview with an actual person that wasn’t a make believe Alpha Hero, a lifesized cardboard movie cut-out or Juan/ Sven in dress-up. Finally, Gena Showalter breezed through the double doors, looking like a million bucks.

“Thanks for meeting us here!” the girls trilled, gracefully rising to their feet simultaneously to adorn GS with handshakes and airkisses. “As soon as you agreed to have us interview you, we knew of the perfect place!” clapped Lola enthusiastically, swinging her arms around to reveal the decorated interior of “The Good Time Bar”, which was celebrating it’s monthly “Honky Tonk Night”.  While Lola signalled to the friendly bartender in the leather steson, fu manchu and nipple revealing white wifebeater, Mimi reached for the glittery tape recorder, ready to forever record down all of Gena’s answers to our pre-prepared hard-hitting, no nonsense, intellectually stimulating questions.

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“Always a Scoundrel” by Suzanne Enoch

Lord Bramwell Lowry Johns is the second scoundrelly scoundrelous son of a Duke, whose cry for attention and love from his father has led him down a merry yet scoundrellicious path of self destruction and generally all round scoundrel-like behaviour. In short, he is a scoundrel. Cut off from any allowance, Bram facilitates his lifestyle of wine, women, gambling and song (ok not so much the latter) through gambling. And though good society at large may frown upon Lord Bram, it is apparent throughout the book that he is much adored by the young males of society, married women, and also, his ex-army now very happily married mates Sullivan and Phineas.  The latter in short, means that Bram is bored and lonely but because he is a man and therefore unable to access his emotions, decides therefore to bed his way through England, as well as take a turn as some sort of Robin Hood-esque character in a twisted bid to gain his father’s love and attention. God. He totally sounds like the kind of guys I used to date.

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Date: 1 September 2009

To: ladies@ripmybodice.com

From: buddingeditorwriter@hotromance.com

Subject: Need assistance

Dear RipMyBodice Girls,

Firstly, I have to say that I totally love you guys! How you manage to write such great reviews, keep up with the latest fashion, and not end up in the state penitentiary for drunk and disorderly conduct I will never know but if you can help me with this, you’d totally be my heroes! I work in the Romance writing industry and every month or so we’re asked to pitch ideas for potential Romance novels in 30 words or less. It’s got to be snappy, with a title that’ll just grab you by the hair and lure you to buy the book. Do you guys have any ideas?

Hopeful,

Miss Stressed Out.

PS: Do you think you could loan out Juan and Sven to me for a weekend or so? I’ve got some muscles I’d like them to work on.

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