February 23, 2010
· Written by Sheridan Sakura Carlotta
· Filed under Interviews, RIPMYBODICE GOODIES
“Hi Larissa!” chirped Sheridan. “Thanks for meeting me here”
“Oh my god you’re covered in blood! And that gash across your - we need to get you to a hospital! Why are you standing in a parking lot? How are you still standing?” cried Larissa Ione, once Sheridan came into view
“Oh no, this is just paint blood. It’s all special effects see? *Sheridan rubs off a little of fake blood pooling from the plaster wound gaping across her chest* I figure this will help.”
“Help how” responded Larissa, now probably wondering why she had agreed to meet the RMB girls in a deserted parking lot
“Help to get the demon boys to take off my clothes and touch me of course! See here’s the plan - you lead me to Underground General Hospital, and I act all injured and stuff, then Eidolon comes along and has to heal me right so I take off my clothes and jump him. Then Shade comes and I jump him too. Oh and let’s not forget Wraith. Well, he doesn’t need to be in the same room I guess I can just jump him in my mind *Sheridan taps her temple* and then Lore will wonder what all the action is and then he’ll come in and th -”
“Let me guess. You’ll jump him too?”
“YES!”
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February 20, 2010
· Written by La Lola
· Filed under Bella Andre, CONTEMPORARY
“Game For Seduction” by Bella Andre
On Wed, Feb 10, 2010 at 10:16 AM, La Lola wrote:
Oh my God, I am freezing! And you know Sheri, I think Sven may need more clothes than just his g-string and pom pom hat while he’s outside shoveling the snow because I distinctly heard rumblings of “Nein, these crazy vomen are turning my meatballs frozen!”
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February 13, 2010
· Written by La Lola
· Filed under CONTEMPORARY, Lynne Graham
“Desert Prince, Bride of Innocence” by Lynne Graham
OK this is maybe likely to get me into a whole lot of trouble and possibly result in some kind of fatwa being launched against Ripmybodice (note to self – remind Sheridan and Mimi to be on standby to activate Emergency Plan involving dressing up in black Armani Prive jumpsuits and camouflage print Jimmy Choo pumps, in case we need to make a quick getaway.) But has anybody realized that a lot of the Sheikh romance novels out there aren’t very, well, realistic?
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February 10, 2010
· Written by Sheridan Sakura Carlotta
· Filed under Gena Showalter, PARANORMAL
“The Darkest Whisper” by Gena Showalter
Dear Diary,
Today was the day that Lola finally lost it. I could see it coming for a while now and after reading Gena Showalter’s “The Darkest Whisper”, she finally snapped. For there I was, sipping on a little jug of mulled wine while flipping through the latest issue of Vogue when suddenly, I heard a loud “NOoOOOOOoOOoOooOOOOO!!!!!!” coming from the direction of Lola’s office. Ever the concerned citizen that I am, I paused mid flip, then reached for that extra blanket Juan had kindly left out for me. Truly, I thought nothing of the further ensuing commotions, bangs, yelps and mutterings; figuring that perhaps once again Lola had been bested by Mimi in a game of drunken Twister until - God. It’s so difficult to even say it but I must, for the first step to heal is to reveal. Diary, it was horrific! It was a crash! Then a bang! As my office door flew open and against the flattering lights of my office I saw - I saw Lola, decked out in paper mache feathered wings, aluminum foiled claws and powdered white skin!
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February 7, 2010
· Written by La Lola
· Filed under HISTORICAL
“My Unfair Lady” by Kathryne Kennedy
It’s such a disappointment when a book you’re looking forward to reading turns out to be a bigger clunker than a Toyata Prius. I had high expectations for “My Unfair Lady.” The impoverished Duke of Monchester despises the rich Americans who flock to London, seeking to buy their way into the ranks of the British peerage. So when railroad heiress Summer Wine Lee offers him a king’s ransom if he’ll teach her to become a proper lady, he’s prepared to rebuff her. But when he meets the petite beauty with the knife in her boot, it’s not her fortune he finds impossible to resist….
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February 1, 2010
· Written by La Lola
· Filed under Bella Andre, CONTEMPORARY
“Game for Anything” by Bella Andre
Set to the music of the classic “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond (Or Mark Salling – aka The Hotness To Infinite Degree)
Where it began, I know exactly when – You
Took Julie’s V-card with your schlong
Now you’re quarterback, whoooo
But with an image bummer
As I’ll describe in this song
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November 16, 2009
· Written by Sheridan Sakura Carlotta
· Filed under Kresley Cole, PARANORMAL
“Deep Kiss of Winter” by Gena Showalter & Kresley Cole
- Untouchable by Kresley Cole
O Lord, before I lay me down to sleep tonight
Please my one prayer answer, to set my soul a-flight
I’ve asked You for a lot over the years I know
But if you would take time out of your busy day you’ll see that I pray for this with every inch of my soul
For dear Lord, in my next life, I want to return not as a Victoria Secret’s model or as a queen bee
But as, sweet merciful Lord, a beautiful, petite yet deadly Valkyrie
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November 9, 2009
· Written by La Lola
· Filed under HISTORICAL, Lisa Kleypas
“Tempt Me At Twilight” by Lisa Kleypas
“Why Some Women Have All The Luck And Deserve To Be Bashed For Their Sheer Ingratitutude” by La Lola
Harry Rutledge is a hotel baron, owner of The Rutledge Hotel, London’s most luxurious and exclusive hotel. He is a self-made, black-haired, highly sexual hotel magnate.
I want.
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November 5, 2009
· Written by Sheridan Sakura Carlotta
· Filed under HISTORICAL, Jenna Petersen
“What the Duke Desires” by Jenna Petersen
A poem of apology to Jenna Petersen:
“Jenna Petersen, we love you, you rock
For an ARC you sent to us, instead of a smelly sock
Hugs and kisses have been sent your way
And we hope Sven finds you with a box of (his) unmentionables this Friday
We’re sorry we took so long to put up this post
A lot has been going on here, please don’t say we’re toast!
Our heads are hung with shame at this gaffe
Please don’t send a hitman to our offices on your behalf!”
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November 2, 2009
· Written by Sheridan Sakura Carlotta
· Filed under Interviews, RIPMYBODICE GOODIES
RMB: So Nalini, thank you for meeting us here. In the most forested area of San Franciso we could find using google maps. I assure you, that there is a deep purpose for why we have insisted that we conduct an interview with you here - totally of course, unrelated to the fact that we want to know where the Changelings live. *Lola stage whispers to Sheridan “I thought that was the sole purpose. If not we could’ve just go back to the Honky Tonk Bar! It’s 2 for 1 night. Maybe even 3 for one if Mimi gets on that bronco again! ” *Ahem* Okay so we lied. But we understand you probably have some sort of promise going on not to expose, more importantly, the Alpha Changelings to human females so we have devised a way to assist you out of this conundrum. But first, tell us -
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