“Ashes of Midnight” by Lara Adrian
Dossier # 1978
Name: Andreas Reichen
Special skill: Pyrokinetic, with the ability to churn up waves of flame when he gets angry (which is often, quite a grumpy boots he is). Quite hot, both literally and figuratively. Handy to have at a barbeque but keep an eye on him in case he burns the marshmallows.
Nickname: “Great Balls of Fire”
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A love letter to Rehvenge, by Lola & Sheridan:
Dearest Rehvenge,
So. The good news first. The good news is, that you are a helluva better leading man that Phury aka “I like to hold my fluffy duck blankie and talk about my feelings.” Because we really dig the mohawk, the cane, the fur jacket (we’re going to pretend that you’re friends with PETA as we are okay?) and evil amethyst eyes thing that you have going on. And as a badass pimp daddy with ties to the underworld? Smokin’ baby.
“Dark Desire” by Christine Feehan
Missing audition tape #311 from American Idol, Season 8
Sheridan: Hi y’all!
Simon: Hello sweetheart, come on in. Your name is Sheridan Sakura Carlotta.
Sheridan: Yes that’s me
Simon: And tell us Sheridan, why are you here?
Sheridan: Well I’m here to be the next American Idol!
“Veil of Midnight” by Lara Adrian
The hardest review to write is for a book which is pretty average. It’s not bad enough that you can write a raniew detailing the number of ways you pulled out your hair (more than five, less than twelve.) But it’s also not good enough where you can get carried away writing an ode to the way the hero fills out his wranglers. (“How I long to be the two round faded blue patches on the front of your jeans!”)
“Eclipse”* by Stephenie Meyer
As told from the tiresome perspective of Bella, to be sung to the classic “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by the fabulous Bonnie Tyler
Breaking down, every time I think of how you’re
So gorgeous and broody and you just got back to town
Breaking down, I don’t care if everyone’s a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Breaking down, every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that you’ll see I only sit here and cry
Breaking down, every time I look at my skin
So sad I don’t sparkle and then I see the look in your eyes
Breaking down Bright One, I think you’re perfect—
You don’t even fart
Breaking down Bright One, I’m a wannabe
Vampire tart
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“Dark Prince” by Christine Feehan
”Once upon a time, there lived a man named Mikhail Dubrinsky . Except, he was not really a man, but a vampire; a lonely, broody, aristocratic, colour blind vampire, who was slowly but surely descending into beastial madness as he had been unable for hundreds of years, to find a mate,” whispered Sheridan, as lightning crashed through her candlelit office, illuminating the features of Lola and Mimi who had gathered in Sheridan’s office with a tubs of popcorn for the RMB girl’s monthly spook night jamboree (seriously, we’ll take just about any excuse for a party). Her hair piled up high above her head like two sugar dusted rolls ala Gary Oldman in Francis Ford Copplola’s ”Braham Stoker’s Dracula” and dressed in a little velvet capelet, Sheridan had gathered the girls to discuss the first book in Christine Feehan’s very popular “Dark Series”.
“The Story of Son” by JR Ward - Dead after Dark Anthology
First up, Sayuri, you are da bomb sister! *thumps chest twice and throws down the peace sign*. Second of all, JR Ward’s “The Story of Son” goes a mighty long way in erasing the pain in my heart as a result of Phury’s book. Which kinda makes you wonder - if JR Ward was more than capable of making one fall in love with a virgin vampire, why she couldn’t do the same for Phury because…Michael Leeds is one sexy ass vampire who needs to be chained to my basement STAT!
“Twilight” by Stephenie Meyers
After much badgering by the pale scary lady, Sheridan finally picked up her very own copy of “Twilight”, preparing not to fall under the voodoo woozoo spell that Stephenie Meyers so obviously has every female (and male) above the age of literacy under. Tried, and failed. Because the minute Sheridan started reading, she didn’t stop. And now two hours later, Sheridan finds herself pacing the confines of her office, trying to figure out how she can get her hands on books 2 and 3, and what she’ll do when there’s no more. [For those of you who have not read it, *****MUCHO SPOILERS AHEAD*****]
“The Rogue Hunter” by Lynsay Sands
Well. I don’t quite know what to say about this one, or what possessed me to think picking it up would have been a brilliant idea. More likely than not I was probably suffering the after effects of another all night bender with the girls, or caught up in wanting to read another great paranormal series/book in light of the Halloween season. I realise that excuses however, only get one so far in life so I will fully admit, dear reader, that I am most probably insane and should be immediately institutionalised or put under conservatorship (it’s working so well for Britney!) because clearly I can no longer trust myself to make rational and safe choices for me and mine. People with white coats and butterfly nets! I am here! Come and take me away to a place where I may get my kumbaya on. Save me from myself!!
“The Black Dagger Brotherhood: An Insider’s Guide” by JR Ward
OK so the good news and the bad news.
The good news is that there’s a novella with Zsadist, Bella and their baby girl Nalla, that is too sweet for words. There’s also a whole bunch of dossiers, where the Brothers have to fill up information and it had Lola snorting in laughter (in a good way, I assure you).
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To-Be-Reviewed Pile: