Dear Santa,

As you already know, I have been a very good girl this year. I have (largely) refrained from making as many snarky comments as I would normally have (thinking it doesn’t count though right??), and have tried to use my time as wisely as possible to the benefit of others. Why, just the other day I removed a piece of lint that found its way to the back of Lola’s black tweed Chanel jacket. I have been nothing but a paragon of good deeds and virtuous behaviour (largely because you have yet to send to me an Alpha Male of my own but let us not point fingers during this time of Jesus’s birth). Let us forgive, forget, and hug it out. Please find enclosed therefore a $10 bill (to sweeten the deal), my secret cookie recipe for triple chocolate cookies (please send my regards to the Missus!) and my list of things that I expect to find under my tree come Christmas morning.

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So it’s Halloween again, time for ghosts, goblins and the RMB girls to come out and play! Gather around the fireplace, as we explore the darker side of desire. Choose between your rival parties, as we pose to you this age-old question: Fangs or Fur?

1. You’re lying in your blood-red La Perla negligee with inlaid pearl buttons, when suddenly the window to your bedroom creaks open. It’s your supernatural lover, come to treat you to his trick (and oh, what a… generous trick it is.) You’d love to go hump in the night with:

a) someone who nibbles his way up your body, one delightful fang at a time. Sure, your neck’s his end goal and you’re going to wind up with a massive hickey the next day, but who’s complaining? His lovin’ is slow and oh-so-seductive, but baby he can bite you one more time. Just don’t forget to invite him in!

b) someone who rips apart your negligee with his bare um, claws. He’s a real animal in bed and if you’re in the mood for something rough (and maybe a bit of drool) then look no further than this wild thing. You know things are gonna be fun with this beast on the loose!
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In case you’ve missed the signs before: A RipMyBodice guide on “Seizing The Moment”

1. If a mysterious group of hott alpha males move in to the mansion next door, and unexpected sightings of wild leopards/ cougars/ cheetahs/ panthers/ zebras (ok maybe you might want to skip the zebras) are reported in your neighborhood, do not call animal control. The chances of all of them being shape-shifting warriors, with one of them becoming your alpha lover are quite high. He is the one for you. 

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WE WON!! Many kisses and hugs to all of you who voted for us in the BBAW awards, and a complimentary rub (at spot of choice) from either Juan or Sven! Now we’re not going to get all sappy on you or anything so you can ju - oh who are we kidding?! *sniffle* Come here! *group hug* We love each and everyone of you for all your comments, recommendations, man candy pictures and attempts at stealing our pre-dibbed alpha male heroes when you thought we weren’t noticing. Uh huh. You know who you are.

And so, we dedicate our win to you, dear readers.

A special shout-out to all the nominees, the winners and of course, Amy for organising this stellar event. It was, of course, an honor just to have been nominated. We weren’t expecting this win at all! The fact that we may have had a prepared acceptance speech was pure coincidence. Honest!

XOXO,

Lola, Sheridan, Mimi

Our dear readers,

They’re back. They’re ALL back. As we try to work through the problem (by perhaps casting another spell), we deeply apologise if your comments have disappeared and hope that you still love us. *puppy dog eyes*

XOXO,

Lola, Sheridan, Mimi

In the romance novel justice system, sexually inept heroes are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special RMB Unit. These are their stories.

*chang chang*

1. The suspect– Phury from “Lover Enshrined“: Have you ever heard the one about the guy with the wooden leg? Neither have we, but we bet he’d be better at doing it than Phury. Having spent large amounts of time mooning over Bella, the RMB girls were eager to see how Phury’d take to his Chosen, Cormia. Sadly for us (and Cormia), he only took her in the last quarter of the book. We should have known better than to expect something wild from a V-to the-Irgin vampire whose one and only unfinished experience had been in a toilet cubicle with a prostitute. That’s right. Unfinished. Dude, you may have an artificial leg, but surely this doesn’t affect the rest of your appendages. Sentenced to: Ten years hard labour in Cormia’s bed, so that at least the poor thing finally gets what’s coming to her (pun fully intended).
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Greetings from the sparkly pink donut in the sky!

We are thrilled to report that we’re finalists in Book Blogger Appreciation Week for the following categories:

a) Best romance blog
b) Best commentator
c) Funniest blog
d) Best name for a blog

Hip hip! *hic* Hooray! *hic* (Sorry, we broke out the bubbly in joy and are dancing around in our Manolos.)

Please vote for us at:
http://www.myfriendamysblog.com/2008/09/bbaw-awards-2008-voting-booth.html

And congrats to all the other finalists for a job well done!

Girls, we’re ecstatic! As long as you keep on reading, we’ll keep on snarking. Seriously, the only thing that could make us happier at the moment is if John McKenna, Bowen and Lucien Knight came crashing through our sky roof. Nekkid. *faints*

Smooches,
Lola, Sheri & Mimi

1. In a world where men are genetically modified lions and panthers, he is different. Unique. Distinct. Half man, half spider monkey, he is deadly and agile, filled with rage at his creator for turning him into the monster that he is as part of an experiment to create an indestructible army of spider monkeys for the military. Despite the shame he feels, he is unable to turn away from the beautiful young daughter of his creator for her gentle spirit and banana smelling breath melts his icy heart. He yearns to carry her away and eat the lice from her hair while having wild monkey sex with her, leaving the world he has come to know far behind. But he knows their love is one that can never be, for the world he can show her, is the same world they are in, only upside down, thanks to his ability to hang from a tree. Tortured, he flees the laboratory he has come to know, and the woman he has loved for so long, until one day, he finds word that she is held ransom for his DNA. Broken-hearted and depressed, she never understood why he left so suddenly that day. Was the banana milkshake she forced herself to drink every morning too much for him to take? Did he know she carried a bag of peanuts in her pocket only for him? Will she ever get to tell him that he had her at his first “ooh ooh ahh ahh?” Proposed Title: Monkey See, Monkey Please Do.
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A little birdie has told us about Book Blogger Appreciation Week and suggested that Ripmybodice.com throws our stylish statement hats into the ring. If you have an appreciation for snark and RMB’s amusing, irreverent and ok fine, sometimes inflammatory reviews and are filled with overwhelming gratitude that we’ve saved you from reading some real clunkers, how about nominating us for:

Best Romance Blog
Best Name for a Blog
Funniest/ Most Humorous Blog
Best Commentator (really, feel free to nominate any one of us. Our friendship can withstand the test, never fear we’ll go all Simon & Garfunkel on you)

Sadly, our informant little birdie dropped the ball and got sidetracked by a hot male birdie, so she only told us about this yesterday. So err… yes, nominations close on 31 August 2008. Write in to Bbawawards@gmail.com soon (like, today actually)!

XOXO,
Lola, Sheri & Mimi

The RMB girls gather around their large crystal punch bowl filled to the brim with all the different flavours of Absolut vodka, in their Vic’s Secret PINK PJs, chanting:

“Double double toil and trouble,
Spam bots make our blood bubble.
Round about the punch bowl go
In the pink bath bombs throw.

Scale of fish, an old wisdom tooth
An out of season shoe, and a piece of an old booth.
O Romance Gods hear our cries
And of these spam bots whom we deeply despise.
Throw them into a pit so deep
That into our website, their comments no longer creep.
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