Dear Mr Important Recruiter,

I am applying for a job as a secretary. I can type pretty fast and am good at organization. More importantly, I believe I am qualified to be a secretary because of all the extensive research I have done by reading Harlequin romances. As you may know, Harlequin romances always feature secretaries who fall in love with their bosses. I have not fallen in love with my boss (possibly because I do not have one) but I would like to, because male bosses seem to be young, good looking, hung like racehorses and extremely rich. I would like to work under someone like this please. Take that any way you like.
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After much yelling (at the computer screen and at each other), hair pulling, and coffee cup hurlings (at the computer screen and at each other) we’ve finally set up our very on Twitter page! Though we may be fashionably late to the whole Twitter scene, we promise to make up for lost time with much enthusiasm, our trademark snarks, occasional words of wisdom, and life lessons (like How To Drink A Body Shot Off Your Cabana Boy).

So come follow us on Twitter our dear readers, as we update you on what’s going on at RMB HQ, what we’re reading now and who we’re stalking (on Twitter and in real life). Just search “RipMyBodice“ and you should see a familiar icon pop up on your Twitter search page. However, we’re still trying to get our Twitter homepage properly set up so do bear with us through this technologically trying time in our lives.

XOXO,

Lola, Sheridan & Mimi

To spread the Christmas cheer, the RipMyBodice girls have taken it upon themselves to do a spot of carolling around their neighbourhood. With Juan and Sven in tow (both appropriate dressed with reindeer antlers, red painted noses and one large christmas sock each), the girls and their spiked eggnog now bring to you, their favourite christmas carol of all time: The Twelve Days of Christmas.

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Dear Santa,

As you already know, I have been a very good girl this year. I have (largely) refrained from making as many snarky comments as I would normally have (thinking it doesn’t count though right??), and have tried to use my time as wisely as possible to the benefit of others. Why, just the other day I removed a piece of lint that found its way to the back of Lola’s black tweed Chanel jacket. I have been nothing but a paragon of good deeds and virtuous behaviour (largely because you have yet to send to me an Alpha Male of my own but let us not point fingers during this time of Jesus’s birth). Let us forgive, forget, and hug it out. Please find enclosed therefore a $10 bill (to sweeten the deal), my secret cookie recipe for triple chocolate cookies (please send my regards to the Missus!) and my list of things that I expect to find under my tree come Christmas morning.

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WE WON!! Many kisses and hugs to all of you who voted for us in the BBAW awards, and a complimentary rub (at spot of choice) from either Juan or Sven! Now we’re not going to get all sappy on you or anything so you can ju - oh who are we kidding?! *sniffle* Come here! *group hug* We love each and everyone of you for all your comments, recommendations, man candy pictures and attempts at stealing our pre-dibbed alpha male heroes when you thought we weren’t noticing. Uh huh. You know who you are.

And so, we dedicate our win to you, dear readers.

A special shout-out to all the nominees, the winners and of course, Amy for organising this stellar event. It was, of course, an honor just to have been nominated. We weren’t expecting this win at all! The fact that we may have had a prepared acceptance speech was pure coincidence. Honest!

XOXO,

Lola, Sheridan, Mimi

Our dear readers,

They’re back. They’re ALL back. As we try to work through the problem (by perhaps casting another spell), we deeply apologise if your comments have disappeared and hope that you still love us. *puppy dog eyes*

XOXO,

Lola, Sheridan, Mimi

In the romance novel justice system, sexually inept heroes are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special RMB Unit. These are their stories.

*chang chang*

1. The suspect– Phury from “Lover Enshrined“: Have you ever heard the one about the guy with the wooden leg? Neither have we, but we bet he’d be better at doing it than Phury. Having spent large amounts of time mooning over Bella, the RMB girls were eager to see how Phury’d take to his Chosen, Cormia. Sadly for us (and Cormia), he only took her in the last quarter of the book. We should have known better than to expect something wild from a V-to the-Irgin vampire whose one and only unfinished experience had been in a toilet cubicle with a prostitute. That’s right. Unfinished. Dude, you may have an artificial leg, but surely this doesn’t affect the rest of your appendages. Sentenced to: Ten years hard labour in Cormia’s bed, so that at least the poor thing finally gets what’s coming to her (pun fully intended).
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Greetings from the sparkly pink donut in the sky!

We are thrilled to report that we’re finalists in Book Blogger Appreciation Week for the following categories:

a) Best romance blog
b) Best commentator
c) Funniest blog
d) Best name for a blog

Hip hip! *hic* Hooray! *hic* (Sorry, we broke out the bubbly in joy and are dancing around in our Manolos.)

Please vote for us at:
http://www.myfriendamysblog.com/2008/09/bbaw-awards-2008-voting-booth.html

And congrats to all the other finalists for a job well done!

Girls, we’re ecstatic! As long as you keep on reading, we’ll keep on snarking. Seriously, the only thing that could make us happier at the moment is if John McKenna, Bowen and Lucien Knight came crashing through our sky roof. Nekkid. *faints*

Smooches,
Lola, Sheri & Mimi

A little birdie has told us about Book Blogger Appreciation Week and suggested that Ripmybodice.com throws our stylish statement hats into the ring. If you have an appreciation for snark and RMB’s amusing, irreverent and ok fine, sometimes inflammatory reviews and are filled with overwhelming gratitude that we’ve saved you from reading some real clunkers, how about nominating us for:

Best Romance Blog
Best Name for a Blog
Funniest/ Most Humorous Blog
Best Commentator (really, feel free to nominate any one of us. Our friendship can withstand the test, never fear we’ll go all Simon & Garfunkel on you)

Sadly, our informant little birdie dropped the ball and got sidetracked by a hot male birdie, so she only told us about this yesterday. So err… yes, nominations close on 31 August 2008. Write in to Bbawawards@gmail.com soon (like, today actually)!

XOXO,
Lola, Sheri & Mimi

The RMB girls gather around their large crystal punch bowl filled to the brim with all the different flavours of Absolut vodka, in their Vic’s Secret PINK PJs, chanting:

“Double double toil and trouble,
Spam bots make our blood bubble.
Round about the punch bowl go
In the pink bath bombs throw.

Scale of fish, an old wisdom tooth
An out of season shoe, and a piece of an old booth.
O Romance Gods hear our cries
And of these spam bots whom we deeply despise.
Throw them into a pit so deep
That into our website, their comments no longer creep.
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