Die baby snatchers!
“Cry No More” by Linda Howard
If you have kids, you might not want to read “Cry No More.” Because I don’t have any, and I was freaked out of my ever-loving mind.
Archive for Linda Howard
I will survive
“Up Close and Dangerous” by Linda Howard
The other afternoon, in the RMB infinity pool, Lola floated past Sheridan on the giant inflatable banana, a Singapore Sling in hand. “So Sheridan, I read a book the other day about this woman, Bailey, who was caught in a disaster with a really hott guy. Like, a total emergency situation!”
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High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, Lay Ee Odl, Lay Ee Odl, Lay Hee Hoo!
“All That Glitters” by Linda Howard
Ah, the eighties. Dynasty, Strawberry Shortcake and Duran Duran. Everything was big in the eighties. Big hair, big shoulder pads and in romance novels, big soap opera plots. So you have “All That Glitters†written by Linda Howard. I read somewhere that Linda Howard mentioned in an interview that she wouldn’t have written the book today, which is perfectly understandable, since “All That Glitters†is as dated as the neon pink day-glo tights that I used to wear.
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Gucci gucci goo
“Sarah’s Child” by Linda Howard
OK, deep breath. How do I tackle this one? From my lazy meanderings across the annals of cyberspace (Stop sniggering Sheridan Sakura Carlotta, that’s two “Ns”. Sheesh) I have concluded that “Sarah’s Child” is a pretty polarising book. People seem to either hate it or love it. Me, there are parts of it I like, and parts of it which I think would be better placed within the confines of my garbage disposal.
Happy 4th of July!
“An Independent Wife” by Linda Howard
In the spirit of Independence Day, La Lola thought that it would be appropriate to feature an all-American romance novel. But sadly, having pondered this long and hard over Long Island iced tea, none really came to mind. So I decided to review “An Independent Wife” instead, because hey, at least it had “Independent” in the title.
Can I just say, what a misnomer the title of this book is. If you’re expecting a book about a woman who works hard for the money (in a way which doesn’t involve standing up against a wall) while trying to juggle marital life with her husband, you would be half right. There is a woman in this novel. Unfortunately, to say that Sallie Jerome aka Mrs Rhy Baines is an independent woman is like saying that Britney is going to clean up her act and be the new spokesperson for Vidal Sassoon (”New! Shampoo for the bald and the beautiful!”). Who are you trying to kid?
Kissing cousins
“Shades of Twilight” by Linda Howard
Oh hi Sheridan Sakura Carlotta, still glum I see? Yes, I know, Juan’s absence has left a void in me too. Why are you glaring at me like that? Oh. Not that kind of void. Can I help it if you have a one-track mind? Anyway I have to tell you, remember how you got lost in the town of “Eww inappropriate much” and kept missing the exit? Well, can I just say I too have accidentally taken the wrong turn off Skanky Highway and have wound up in “I’m pretty sure this isn’t legal” land, where the natives do strange, strange things which are not only frowned upon by the Good Book, but I also believe happen to violate several codes (among other things).
Welcome to the town of “uhm…eeeeewww…inappropriate much?!”
“After the Night” by Linda Howard
It is an understatement to say that Lola, Mimi and I had a rough week here at ripmybodice.com. Monday started off well enough, with us warding away the Monday blues by lying helplessly by our rooftop pool while Juan supplies us with an endless amount of frozen strawberry margs while rubbing lotion on our backs to prevent our delicate skins from burning but then, it all went rather terribly wrong by Wednesday when Juan declared that he had to attend to some “family emergency” and did not know when he would be back. Something about a half brother he needs to save from…alright I admit by this time none of us were paying any attention to Juan although he was wearing his usual Wednesday pink spandex shorts; time kind of stopped when he said “I must go away for little while”. Lola coped with her loss by hitting the bottle while watching a marathon of scary movies, Mimi coped with her loss by hitting the bottle while surfing the net to discover new ways of exterminating cockroaches from the face of the earth, and I locked myself in our in-house Library of Love to read “After the Night” by Linda Howard, sober. Oh alright alright! I had a drink in one hand as well. What? Oh fine. I was nursing a bottle of tequila too okay? You happy now?!
Long live the 80s
“Cutting Edge” by Linda Howard
Thanks to my undying love for “Paradise” (as so written by Ms Judith McNaught), I have and forever will have a preference for contemporary novels, set in the corporate world of business suits, glass offices and sexually, predatory, intelligent, Alpha Male men who wear business suits and sit in glass offices. It is therefore little wonder that I was introduced to “Cutting Edge” by Linda Howard, by La Lola (I *heart* you!), after my recent spate into the historicals (mainly, stable boys (Hi Ivan Tramore !) and secret agent Earls (Hi Caine!)). Although I must admit I was at first, a little apprehensive of reading the said book, having heard a brief summary of the plot by La Lola (as explained through the magic of sock puppetry (we have our own sock puppet stage at our ripmybodice HQ. Don’t ask)), which sounded a whole lot like “Double Standards” (also written by Ms Judith McNaught).