“Heart of Stone” by Diana Palmer
So Sheridan is always asking me why I read Diana Palmer. Maybe it’s because I read and loved some of her 80s classics like “Betrayed by Love” and “The Case of the Mesmerizing Boss” (Don’t ask). When that woman’s on form, she can do heart twinge like there’s no tomorrow. Plus “Lawless” was a pretty recent book and I had so many heart twinges reading it I would have suspected I was getting angina, if not for the fact that I’m like practically 12 (NOT in dog years Mimi! *shoots dirty look*).
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“Fearless” by Diana Palmer
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That, my friends, is my review of Diana Palmer’s latest book, “Fearless.” You know, this is a non-profit site. We don’t get paid to read these books, and we have so far only received one ARC. (God bless Jenna Peterson for not only having written one of the best books this year, but also one we didn’t have to pay for). Every dollar spent on buying books is a dollar less that we have to fund our latest shoe acquisitions. Which means, I actually paid money to read “Fearless”. In hardcover!!!!!!!! Money that would have been put to better use rolled up and used to clean the dirt out from under my toenails! “Fearless” must have been so named because that’s what Diana Palmer is. Fearless that she can write a book like this and not expect every person who reads it to hunt her down and toilet paper her house.
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“Winter Roses” by Diana Palmer
Yeah so, apparently, you haven’t quite been paying attention Santa. Too much time spent looking up Sheridan’s chimney? When I said I wanted an alpha hero, you were supposed to deliver, weren’t you? I believe those are the terms and conditions of our homage to you. Effigies of yourself are put up around the world and devotees go around dressed up as rotund little men with a facial hair problem. So in exchange for that, aren’t we supposed to get what we want? I asked for an alpha male, and in Diana Palmer’s latest, “Winter Roses,” suffice to say that I was not amused.
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“Boss Man” by Diana Palmer
Let’s play a game. And not “Schoolmarm Sue and Farmhand Luke play hoe down” either. *shoots glare at Mimi, who has brought out costumes with a hopeful look*

1. You are a rather curvaceous secretary named Violet, living in a small Texan town and in love with your lawyer boss, Blake Kemp. You choose to (a) moon over him and keep your feelings for him secret (although even Kim Jong Il knows you bear him unrequited love. Blake, not Kim Jong Il, because isn’t he some fuzzy haired little puppet or something?) or (b) declare your love, which he then returns with utmost grace and happiness.
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“The Patient Nurse” by Diana Palmer

Lola, Sheridan and Mimi were lounging around the RMB offices, taking a break from their hectic schedules of writing reviews, reading novels, eating nachos and plotting world domination. By mutual agreement, it was decided that we would watch a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, just to refresh ourselves as to what’s going on in the lives of Seattle’s finest. 2 days and many episodes later, Lola stumbled out into the sunshine, with doctors, doctors, doctors on her mind.

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“Man In Control” by Diana Palmer
OK, so La Lola decided to take a break from her Shannon McKenna run, simply because there’s a limit to the amount of unfulfilled lust that even I can handle. (Yes, really.) Plus I think Mimi and Sheridan are disturbed because I’ve been walking around in a haze, asking them if I should tattoo “Connor McCloud” on my left cheek and “Seth Mackey” on my right. (Note to readers: not the ones on my face) So I picked up my trusty copy of “Man in Control” by Diana Palmer, kicked off my Gold Gucci platforms and settled back to immerse myself in a simpler world where the women are plain and shy and misunderstandings and cowboys reign supreme.

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“Lawman” by Diana Palmer
For those of you nay sayers out there (You know who you are!) who say that La Lola brings it upon herself by reading books which she knows are guaranteed to push her buttons (and not in a good way), you would be wrong! Well no, you’re kind of right. But I can’t help it! It’s like picking at a scab! (Which also explains why La Lola has a chicken pox scar in the shape of Wyoming on her left butt cheek).

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“The Case of the Mesmerizing Boss” by Diana Palmer
Honestly, with a title like this, how could I not pick up this book? The only other title I can think of which is half as catchy is “I Love a Man who had a Wooden Leg Named Smith. (The Man, not the Leg).” (Avon editors, take note.) I know that I’ve been less than complimentary to some of Diana Palmer’s efforts (Howling with mirth might have been mentioned at some point). But I genuinely find that unintentionally hilarious as some of them may be, they’re still fun reads. Kind of like how hot fudge sundaes are bad for you, but you can’t resist them anyway. Mmmm…fudge.
 

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“Outsider” by Diana Palmer

It’s pretty hard to take a romance seriously when you’re lying on the ground crying with mirth by page four. And unfortunately for Diana Palmer, I don’t think the humour is intentional. I’ve admitted to having a secret liking for her books in the past, because they’re so criminally bad, they’re good. It’s like that time I watched Piranha 2: The Spawning, where the mutant piranha could swim, fly, walk, had teeth the size of Oregon, and ate all the diners at a Hawaiian luau in an orgy of blood and death. *eyes bright with remembered joy*

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“Callaghan’s Bride” by Diana Palmer

OK, why do you keep doing this to yourself La Lola. I ask myself this all the time, and yet, I never learn my lesson! I read another Diana Palmer book, and it features yet another alpha-jerk Marlboro Man hero with the intelligence of a geriatric organ-grinder’s monkey and the impulse control of a 3 year-old with ADD.

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