“Take No Prisoners” by Cindy Gerard

So the problem with Cindy Gerard’s latest book to her Black Ops Inc. series is that there is a deficit in the Romance department. I might even go so far as to say that there has been a serious deficit and that the book might need a bail out plan to be drawn up by the Congress of Romance (i.e. the RMB girls). The people (i.e. our readers who have read the book before I did and Lola because for her a life without Grovel is a life not worth living) have spoken that they wish for more Grovel and really, Romance publishing houses should heed our cry. Perhaps Romance publishing houses should really just hire each of Lola, Mimi and I to provide our wise input into each book pre-publication (i.e. send us your ARCs damnit!!).

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“Show No Mercy” by Cindy Gerard

Hello world, I am Sheridan Sakura Carlotta and I am here to tell you that I approve Gabriel Jones’s bid for Alphadom, and why you should too. As you know, we place great emphasis on the meaning of the word “Alpha” and do not give our endorsements easily. Though it is not yet proven that we will be able to hold true to our principles and not endorse a candidate who is unworthy of such an illustrious title because we have been earlier bribed by the promise of a) diamonds; b) all you can eat ice-cream; c) a lifetime’s supply of shoes; and/or d) all the ARCs we can get our hands on, we are confident that we would theoretically be able to give you, our readers, a fair, honest, and objective nomination for your deliberation and consideration. Today, we support Gabriel Jones, the star of Cindy Gerard’s new Black Ops series, “Show No Mercy” for he has all the basic fundamentals of an Alpha Male and here at RipMyBodice.com, we have helpfully compiled a basic checklist for your approval.

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“Plain Jane” by Fern Michaels
Wow. La Lola took about 3 months to finish reading “Plain Jane” by Fern Michaels. And trust me, it wasn’t in a “Oh my God this book is so incredible that I want to savour every moment of it so that it’ll never end.” There were always more interesting books to read. Like the phone book. In fact, the one shining moment was when I finally reached the end of the book and could return it to the used book store and get 5 bucks back. Yeah, that was really the highlight.
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“Power Play” by Deidre Martin
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of being Wild and Free. This is La Lola, and this is “The Wild and Free”.

Previously, on “The Wild and Free”….

Monica Geary, lead actress on America’s hottest soap “Wild and Free” (aka W & F) is in danger of being upstaged by a new actress with more cleavage than talent. Deciding that she needs more publicity, Monica needs to pretend that she’s in a relationship with a hot celebrity.

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“Nauti Nights” by Lora Leigh

Frankly, I’m surprised that this book doesn’t come with its own warning label, complimentary oven mitts and a months’ supply of ice cubes. And the cover of the book should totally read “****WARNING! THIS BOOK SHOULD NOT BE READ UNLESS ONE IS SITTING IN OR ON A GLACIER (IN WHICH CASE WE HAVE SOLVED THE MYSTERY OF THE MELTING POLAR ICE CAPS)****” because that is how hot “Nauti Nights” is. It is hot, and yes my fellow readers, it is naughty. Or you know, “nauti”.

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“Dangerous Games” by Lora Leigh  

*cue music* “Welcome to RMB News. I’m Sheridan Sakura Carlotta with today’s breaking headline news.” *swivels in chair* “Tonight. The authorities are on a nation-wide manhunt today for Navy SEAL Clint McIntire. We cut live now to our senior correspondent Ma’mselle Mimi for the latest developments. Good evening Mimi! What can you tell us about the search?” *Mimi is busy adjusting her breasts* “Erm…Ma’mselle Mimi? You’re on live news. So Mimi, perhaps you could give us the viewers a little background on this breaking story.”

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“The Bachelor” by Carly Philips

P is for Pain: which is what Sheridan felt when she realised that the driving plot device of the entire book was not the romance, not bromance, not über villains, but panties. PAN-I kid you not because I ain’t that cruel- TIES. Crocheted ones at that. What decent lady would want to swathe her nether regions with a tea cosy you ask? Well, apparently half the goddamn town of Yorkshire Falls that’s who! Now ordinarily Sheridan doesn’t have a problem with panties. In fact, she believes in wearing them when getting out of limousines, hummers, and whenever one is wearing an ultra short dress. Sheridan freely admits that she never fully recovered from the image file Lola had sent her not too long back, of Britney’s unpruned secret garden. * BLERGH * However, when one is within a five mile radius of an alpha male, the aforementioned should be ignored. Feel free to experience the true extent of the day/night breeze.

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“Wild Card” by Lora Leigh

From the confidential files of the Navy SEALs. (Restricted Access!!) [with notes and remarks addressed to Captain La Lola (“Capt LL”)]

Subject: Nathan Malone (alias Noah Blake)

Operative Name: “Wild Card” [Capt LL’s petition to have Subject’s name changed to “Hung with a Dong like Donkey Kong” denied.]
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“Killer Secrets” by Lora Leigh

Lethargic from lunch and Sven’s magical hands of shea buttery bliss, Sheridan settled comfortably on her Corona float, intent on continuing her journey on a new and wondrous series featuring hot and sexy Navy SEALs (eat that GI Joe!!) who, from the looks of things, are all possessive alpha bad-boys who eat danger with their morning wheaties. “Ah. God bless the United States of America!” perked Sheridan, startling Ma’mselle Mimi (who had just managed to balance on her My Little Pony float) with her sudden salute. “Sorry M!” cried Sheridan, wincing sheepishly as Mimi’s now soggy black stetson floated past.

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  “Come Up And See Me Sometime” by Lucy Monroe

  Yesterday, on facebook chat:

 Lola_hearts_Dirty_Rocker_Boyz: Yo SSC. Ready 2 go 4 lunch? Sven & Juan are flipping burgers down by the pool. Yum! (<– hungry mouth) Better quickly come by b4 Mimi hits the food like T-Rex pounding after the goat.  

 Sheri_Trahern4Eva!: Finishing up last few pages of book. Go w/o me. Will meet u there.

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