Careless whisper
“The Darkest Whisper” by Gena Showalter
Dear Diary,
Today was the day that Lola finally lost it. I could see it coming for a while now and after reading Gena Showalter’s “The Darkest Whisper”, she finally snapped. For there I was, sipping on a little jug of mulled wine while flipping through the latest issue of Vogue when suddenly, I heard a loud “NOoOOOOOoOOoOooOOOOO!!!!!!” coming from the direction of Lola’s office. Ever the concerned citizen that I am, I paused mid flip, then reached for that extra blanket Juan had kindly left out for me. Truly, I thought nothing of the further ensuing commotions, bangs, yelps and mutterings; figuring that perhaps once again Lola had been bested by Mimi in a game of drunken Twister until - God. It’s so difficult to even say it but I must, for the first step to heal is to reveal. Diary, it was horrific! It was a crash! Then a bang! As my office door flew open and against the flattering lights of my office I saw - I saw Lola, decked out in paper mache feathered wings, aluminum foiled claws and powdered white skin!
And so, I reacted the only way I could react, the way a close friend and colleague would react. I laughed. And then, I rolled around my couch a little, still laughing all the while. But in a blink of an eye, she rushed forward, pinning me down against my goose downed pillows and snarled. “I am no longer Lola, La; a mere mortal. I am a Harpy!” .
“What’s a Harpy?” I asked, tentatively, unable to tear my eyes away from her pale white skin that seemed to be a mixture of flour batter and talcum powder.
“The creature that steals the heart of Sabin! God Sheridan, how can I expect you, a lowly human to understand this? Sabin! The Keeper of Doubt. Another one of the Lords of the Underworlds whom I wish to hold tight to my bosom. You know Sheridan, I think Gena Showalter is a cruel cruel woman to write the way she does about men who do not exist. Except they must! For to live in such a world is to live in pain. Pain! Oh Reyes. I love you.”
“I thought you loved Sabin”
“Yes yes him too” muttered Lola, narrowing her eyes at me while adding “don’t be trying to steal them Lords away from me Sheridan. My Harpy senses are able to easily detect your ploy.” At my blank look, Lola carried on thus - “Harpy! Harpy!!! (while flapping her “wings aggressively”, inciting a rather cool breeze to ruffle through the silken strands of my hair) You know, descendents of Lucifer? Normal looking women with luminously opal skin that men yearn to touch, lick and stare at? But when angry, a deadly, ruthless, eat-your-throat-before-you-blink killing machine? Oh Sheridan, must I teach you everything? SQUAWK!!”
Yes Diary, she squawked. Ratherly loudly might I add, since the ringing in my ears has not since disspated. Post squawk, Lola resumed pacing around my office, expositioning the plot of Gena Showalter’s latest Lords of the Underworld book. As I had mentioned earlier, it seems that “The Darkest Whisper” is the story of The Keeper of Doubt who has taken up the role of Leader of the Lords. I’m not sure when this happened because I don’t remember Sabin being quite as active in the other books. Perhaps in that man-castle of hot manliness in Budapest, one is the Leader until one finds love and then you’re just pussy whipped. Anyway so Sabin and the other Lords are on a quest to retrieve the remaining mystical artifacts that will lead them all to Pandora’s box and at the start of the book, are engaged in heated battle with the Hunters. Naturally, the Lords kick butt with their superior strength and gorgeous looks and they soon discover a secret Hunter experiment lab where Sabin locks eyes with Gwen, the Harpy in a glass cage. According to Lola, it was lust at first sight for them both - he drawn to her strawberry blonde hair and her to his rippling muscles and sexy butterfly tattoo on his hip (Diary at this juncture I note that it is possible that this might be sexier in real life and if the tattoo was on the right man). Immediately after releasing her from her year long prison, Gwen’s Harpy gets the better of her and she rips out the throat of her sick Hunter captor. And in case you were wondering Diary, in addition to narrating all of this, Lola also treated me to a little charades/ mime action. I feel so blessed. And maybe also a little bit frightened.
According to Lola, Sabin’s lady love is in fact a timid peace loving individual and as such, immediately freaks the hell out when she realised that her Harpy got the best of her, and that she now holds a bloody piece of flesh in her hand. Where a lesser man would probably run in the opposite direction, this serves only as foreplay to Sabin. He decides immediately that he wants to keep her, despite the fact that his demon Doubt has a track record of causing all of his lovers to fall either into a depressive state, or commit suicide. Very nice. But you see diary, Gwen is different for she is the heroine of this novel and she can therefore withstand Sabin’s demon. In the end, we find out that Sabin’s demon is frightened by Gwen’s angry, bitchy, stronger than Superman, faster than the speed of light, eat your heart out and dance around while drenched in your blood Harpy.
Gwen gets taken back to Sabin’s love-shack and soon the two of them make like wild horny sex deprived monkeys in the forest surrounding the castle. It was all kinda hot to be honest. Well, it sounded hot Diary, until Lola offered to recreate her favourite moments in the book with Juan. I am ashamed to admit it Diary, but I ran out of there so fast I left my suede booties behind! And when I finally snuck back, I discovered that that THIEF! LOLA, LA took them! I see her plan all along. Damn her cunning soul. But she has tempted me Diary and I will no doubt (hur hur (I am so witty)) be picking up a copy of Gena Showalter’s latest Lords of the Underworld book for she has not failed me yet. At this, I must go. For I must to the Pale Scary Lady’s abode go, and while I am out, pick up a new pair of shoes.
Until tomorrow,
Sheridan
Sayuri said,
February 10, 2010 @ 8:03 am
I loved this book. Reyes is still MINE though. I’m pretty sure I bagged him way back……
Bridget Locke said,
February 10, 2010 @ 12:06 pm
*shakes head*
Sad you lost your booties. Awesome that you got charades.
Julie Bo Boolie said,
February 10, 2010 @ 12:11 pm
I really enjoyed this one. I still think she mishandled the sex scene in Reyes’ book with the whole stab in the leg thing when it would have been SO much hotter to bite him or claw him but I really enjoyed this one.
And the nod to Nucking Futs Nix.. LOVED that!
Agi said,
February 10, 2010 @ 10:19 pm
I’ve yet to read this series, though it’s on my list. Is this world supposed to coexist with Kresley Cole’s (IAD) world or is the nod to Nix just a little fun?
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
February 11, 2010 @ 11:04 am
Hi Agi, I can’t tell whether the worlds are supposed to coexist or whether Gena Showalter’s just throwing us IAD lovers a little wink. Either way, I loved it - if Kresley Cole sold those t-shirts on her website, I’d definately buy one!
Julie Bo Boolie, you’re right! I too thought that a little nibble (or hard nibble, this is Reyes’ after all) would have been much hotter than the whole..blood and stabbing thing. Maybe a little whip action? I wouldn’t say no to that!
Bridget - It was an elaborate ploy that I should have saw coming. Also, charades are not always fun. Not when flour, powder and aluminum foiled claws are involved!
Sayuri, yes don’t worry. We have Reyes’ name struck off the manwhich party list (of men we ourselves can bring). Doesn’t mean we can’t share though right? Or…trade? * looks hopeful*
Bluestocking said,
February 26, 2010 @ 2:47 am
You guys are too funny!!
Lady of Shadows said,
April 8, 2010 @ 7:09 pm
This book sounds violent and horny…I’m so going to get a copy now.
Thanks in advance for making me put a dent in my budget!
On the other hand,think I’ll buy from bookdepository.com They are way cheaper than going to the book store.I live in AU and books here are way expensive for some reason,so its cheaper to buy online.Take that Dymocks,you evil over priced demon!