When Harry Met Lola
“Tempt Me At Twilight” by Lisa Kleypas
I want.
Poppy Hathaway is sister to Amelia (wife of Cam Rohan the gypsy lord) and Winifred (wife of Kev Merripen the gypsy lord - *Author’s Note: who knew gypsies had so many aristocrats running around their ranks. Reports of their disenfranchisement and alienation from society are clearly vastly exagerrated). Poppy is in London and madly in love with Michael Bayning, who has all the excitement of week-old mold on dramamine.
Poppy (or Poopy as I cunningly refer to her in my mind) accidentally stumbles onto a secret lair in the Rutledge Hotel, which is where Harry uses as his refuge and keeps the little engineering marvels that he likes to tinker with in his free time. Sadly engineering marvel here is not a euphemism for anything more salacious. Although I say that Harry can tinkle with my engineering marvel any day. When I become Mrs Harry Rutledge, I shall convince my dearest Harry to turn this lair into our very own hidden sex cave where we can live out our lives in mundane domestic bliss.
Harry is fascinated by Poopy and grabs her into his arms for an illicit embrace.
Poopy is intrigued by her response to Harry, who is not her saint-like, Mr White Backside Michael Bayning. Harry is masculine and sexual and earthy.
I want.
Harry is also a schemer, and contrives to have Michael dump Poopy. And then he gets himself caught in a compromising position with Poopy Pants at a ball. When Michael Buble-Bayning sees Harry holding Poopy protectively within his arms, Harry flashes Michael a look of masculine triumph.
I REALLY want.
Poopy Pants, you do not deserve this man. You do not deserve to be the Mrs Boss of your very own hotel. See how you treat your hotel magnate husband! Go to jail! Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
EXHIBIT A: When Michael interrupts the wedding of Harry and Poopy.
“She was yours, if you’d truly wanted her,” Harry continued, a pitiless smile touching his lips. “But I wanted her more.”
Poopy’s response: How vulnerable and heroic and wounded you are Michael my love!
La Lola’s response: I want you too Harry my jelly bean! I want to pull off all my clothes and attack you like a grizzly bear on honey! Nom nom nom. (*Author’s Note: This is what I imagine a munching bear sounds like.)
EXHIBIT B: When Harry’s employee is smiled at by Poopy, who is ignoring Hunky Harry Bear
Harry experienced a new sensation, a poisonous resentment that crept all through his body. Was it… jealousy? It had to be. He tried to suppress the feeling but it lingered in the pit of his stomach. He wanted Poppy to smile at him like that. He wanted her playfulness, her charm, her attention.
Poopy’s response: I shall ignore you and your enormous manhood!
La Lola’s response: *comes to point and sits at Harry’s feet like an attentive Golden Retriever, focusing all her attention on his enormous manhood.*
EXHIBIT C: When Harry buys Poopy a diamond necklace and asks for a kiss in exchange
Poopy’s response is to turn her face away from his kiss in disgust, unwilling to be sullied by him.
La Lola’s response is to reach into the pages of the book and slap Poopy silly with a trout since Poopy is clearly a cold slimy fish.
EXHIBIT D: When Poopy slips and falls in the bathroom and Harry races to her side in a maddened panic, barking orders to the maids to fetch things just so that he feels like something’s being done.
Poopy’s response: You do not need to worry about me, I am Super Woman and impervious to pain, human decency and alpha hotness.
La Lola: I fell on my crotch! Kiss and make it better please!
EXHIBIT E: When Harry and Poopy finally consummate their relationship, Harry’s train is too long to pull into Poopy’s station.
Poopy’s response: Boo Hoo Hoo! Weh! Weh! Weh! Oh how unlucky i am to be saddled with a wealthy hotel magnate for a husband who can put a race horse to shame.
La Lola: I shall offer a suckling pig to the gods in thanks for the incredible gift in your pants! Please Harry Rutledge, come and erect your hotel on my property.
Frankly, I do not see what Harry sees in Poopy. Is it her annoying whininess as she perpetually thinks of her fair haired first love and compares him to Harry, whom she considers to be a villain? I will take a villain any day if it means that in the great game of Sexytime Monopoly, Harry’s boot will land on my square every time. Is it the fact that she can chatter on and converse about every topic under the sun? If you wanted Little Miss Chatterbox, why didn’t you say so Harry love? I can natter on with the best of them. Why, the only way you can keep my mouth closed is to fill it with something else. Like a Kitat bar. Um, yeah. A really smooth, sweet, tasty bar of KitKat. Hunh. Is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?
Anyway if you ever get tired of Poopy Pants, feel free to come ferret through my community chest anytime.
Tamara said,
November 9, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
Hilarious! I wasn’t too interested in picking this title up, but now its officially on my To Buy list.
Purse Monkey said,
November 9, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
I love your reviews, though I have to say I enjoyed this book very much and thought Poppy as an endearing heroine. Harry, on the other hand, took a bit longer for me to like but at the end, I love him too.
Gummy Bear said,
November 9, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
MAN! i was deciding between this book and “Born of Night” to complete my amazon’s 4-for-3 deal order and I chose BoN instead. Now your review makes me want to buy this lisa kleypas book anyway… *shaking fist*
LadyCurvyA.K.APHR said,
November 10, 2009 @ 3:06 am
Lmao!! Poopy???? *rolls on the floor* Really!!! … No matter how I felt about Harry at first, he made me adore him in the end! :p
Love it Lola, thx …
Bernie Stock said,
November 10, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
Very funny again you make me spew coffee all over my laptop!!! I liked this book but not as much as the prior two books. How does he walk around with that thing special sling in his pants???
Frannie said,
November 11, 2009 @ 12:43 am
So, so funny! I too feel that Harrry could do better than Poopy, oops, I mean Poppy of course, and I would be totally willing to accommodate all his little (and not so little) idiosyncrasies. But La Lola, you can have first dibs on him, because I think I’d rather hold out for one of Nalini Singh’s Changelings - leopard, wolf, tiger - doesn’t matter, I’m easy.
siren grey said,
November 11, 2009 @ 3:40 pm
ahahahahahaah i loveeee your reviews la lola!
Renee said,
November 13, 2009 @ 2:27 pm
For all your reasons listed, I LOVED Harry. Give me a dark hero with a really big . . . hotel, anytime!
BookFiend said,
November 14, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
Your reviews are hilarious! I laughed out loud so many times, prompting my husband to ask curiously what I was reading. You gals need to get on Twitter!
La Lola said,
November 19, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
dsdsdsdsdsd
La Lola said,
November 19, 2009 @ 4:41 pm
Sorry - have just managed to climb out of a long alcoholic bender. Glad you liked the review! Even though Harry is not on my Top 5 Favorite Lisa K heroes, a non Top 5 Lisa K hero is still pretty damn tasty.
And Renee - we ARE on twitter!
austenfan said,
December 11, 2009 @ 1:54 pm
LOVE your review! LOL. Btw, who are on your top 5 Lisa K heroes?
Kev has got to be on it! :p
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