“Flyboy” by Karen Foley

DATE: October 19, 2009

NOMINATION FORM FILLED IN BY: La Lola / Sheridan Sakura Carlotta / Ma’mselle Mimi

THIS BOOK IS A: Historical / Scottish Historical / Contemporary / Paranormal / Others (It’s a superfreak, superfreak)

STATUS: Sober

WHAT ARE YOU NOMINATING: That this month’s leftover petty cash goes to Sheridan’s bid to buy those Louboutin leopard print booties. And also that the below mentioned candidate be entered into the ripmybodice.com Alpha Hall Of Many Candy Hottness

WHY: Mama Sheridan needs a new pair of shoes for autumn duh!

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE: Pistacchio gelato ice-cream!

 

RMB Alpha Quick Facts:

NAME: Lieutenant Commander Angel Torres

ALIAS: Diabolo

MEASUREMENTS: Impressive

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Impossibly wide shoulders, washboard abs, chiseled cheekbones, dimples (Lord have mercy!), bronzed skin and an intense dark gaze

RMB ALPHA STAMP OF APPROVAL: YOU BET YOUR ASS

 

Further Information on Potential Alpha Candidate:

DANGEROUS PROFESSION? Yes / No

Fighter pilot who’s serving the good old United States of America in the war against terror. Booted out of the cockpit by his superiors for “seizing the moment” by breaking formation/disobeying orders and eliminating enemy stronghold. Clearly also a bad boy with some issues with authority. Bonus points awarded!

 

ANY PANTY FLYING ACTION? Yes / No / Not applicable / Please put your own panties back on

Sorry.

 

TORTURED PAST RESULTING IN PRESENT BROODY AND INTENSE PERSONALITY AND A SHATTERED SOUL THAT CAN ONLY BE SAVED BY THE POWER OF THE HEROINE’S COOCHIE? Yes / No Hero does not seem particularly tortured. Hardly seems fair therefore why he still gets to fly his turbo jet into Sedona’s hanger. Note that heroine seems to have some massive chip on her shoulder at being compelled to set aside her girly feminine ways in order to please her dad whereas her sisters are instant 3-in-1 sex kittens. Just add boiling water! Notwithstanding however the lack of trauma suffered by the hero, comfort is nonetheless found in the “sacred cloud pocket in the sky” (i.e. the heroine’s coochie) wherein the hero’s cockpit may wander at extensive length. Yeah - I too have lost track of my initial point.

 

TENDER MOMENTS DISPLAYED BY POTENTIAL ALPHA CANDIDATE THAT WOULD MAKE THE READER WANT TO: (a) clasp the hero’s dark head to bosom resulting in awkward situation when caught twirling around the room with a book clasp to breasts and stroking its spine tenderly; (b) eat a pint of rocky road ice-cream; (c) curse the Romance gods for cruelly leaving you in a Alpha-less state of existence; or (d) all of the above.

(1) the rather brilliant, highly amusing and too sexy for its own good exchange between Angel and Sedona featuring engine parts, maintenance of one’s engine and such other witty innuendos that left me grinning from ear to ear at my book like an idiot;

(2) Angel’s eagerness to see Sedona at the end of every work day (yes yes, all very sweet though his preference of wanting to spend time with her rather than at a pub drinking beer with his other pilot buddies almost made me think I was reading a paranormal Romance novel);

(3) when Angel arranged for Sedona to be his co-pilot on one of the Coyotes and gave her her very own call sign, “Flygirl” (in response to her nickname for him - “Flyboy”) (SIGH.); and

(4) Angel giving up his fighter jet status because Sedona can’t take worrying about him. Yeah. I hate her too.

 

*!*! WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?:

Look, it was stinking up the fridge! No one eats gorgonz - um. Not me!

 

*!*! DOES THE HERO DISPLAY ANY POSSESSIVE JEALOUS BEHAVIOUR?: Yes / No / OH BABY! Mummy like

When Sedona’s really obnoxiously disgusting colleague makes a move at Sedona at the hotel bar, Angel makes like Angelus and goes to town on the weasel. Though not the most jealous/possessive of behaviours I have read in my day, any morsels of jealousy thrown our way are always much appreciated.

 

REVIEWER’S ARTISTIC MUSINGS ABOUT THE ALPHA HERO:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HEROINE DESERVING OF HERO’S LOVE AND ATTENTION? Yeah sure, ok whatever. That lucky bitch. / Puh-lease / The hero would be better off with a pet rock and a tub of vaseline / Why doesn’t he love me?!?!

The heroine in this story is Sedona Stewart who meets the hero at the Department of Defence where she works as an aerospace engineer and Angel works at being incredibly good looking. Though she is supposedly female, she hides her incredible body behind manly shapeless looking clothes because she strives to be the son her dad never had. I think it’s just a big elaborate conspiracy to ensure that when Angel does chance upon her in her lycra outfit at the gym, he will be doubly impressed with her goodies, her cookies and her boobies (it is possible that all three things refer to the same thing). While on a business trip to investigate the reason why some super fighter jet is malfunctioning in combat, Sedona decides to turn on her headlights, and let them shine wherever Angel goes by blantantly propositioning him and claiming that all she wants is a steamy sexy fling and not a real relationship. Oldest trick in the book that one. [Reviewer's notes - must use more often]

 

The fact that the heroine can draw no way compromises my chances of being Angel’s true mate. See above.  Plus, the fact that the heroine has been in love with the hero for eons should also not put me out of the running for the affection of his thruster booster - she may have a head start but I am willing to eat this entire bag of chips as a token of my true undying love. Now that friends, is called sacrifice! Though reluctantly impressed with Sedona’s determination to break the glass ceiling at the DoD by screwing the hottest man whose male essence should really be studied and then duplicated by the NSA (for the sake of women everywhere!), Sedona’s about-turn from shy retiring tomboy to full fledge porn star seemed rather quick and the fact that she managed to get Angel to respond to her doesn’t really help her case very much. 

 

*!*! STEAMY SCENES? Even nuked oatmeal get more action than the characters / As steamy as my buns! (i.e. steamy enough) / Frozen magheritas required / Get Juan to purchase all the ice-cubes from every supermarket within a 5 mile radius of the office

From the second the Angel and Sedona get it on, it is pretty much one steamy bonanza after another what with Sedona performing a rather sexy strip tease show while Angel watches, Sedona showing Angel how much she missed him (literally while lying spread eagle on his bed) and all the sexy bits (of the dangly and non-dangly variety in between). It’s pretty hot y’all! (It is a Blaze book afterall)

 

COMMENTS FROM ANOTHER MEMBER OF TEAM RIPMYBODICE - LA LOLA / SHERIDAN SAKURA CARLOTTA / MA’MSELLE MIMI / JUAN / SVEN:

That is the ugliest eff-ing drawing I have seen in my entire life.

 

 

(*!*! indicates compulsory fields)