Nervously we waited at our table, our eyes trained to the door of the classy establishment we insisted Gena Showalter meet us at to conduct the interview. While Mimi trotted off to get the girls another round of drinks, Sheridan checked a sweaty pit while wondering if she should have applied a double dose of deodorant. It was the RipMyBodice girls’ first ever interview with an actual person that wasn’t a make believe Alpha Hero, a lifesized cardboard movie cut-out or Juan/ Sven in dress-up. Finally, Gena Showalter breezed through the double doors, looking like a million bucks.

 

“Thanks for meeting us here!” the girls trilled, gracefully rising to their feet simultaneously to adorn GS with handshakes and airkisses. “As soon as you agreed to have us interview you, we knew of the perfect place!” clapped Lola enthusiastically, swinging her arms around to reveal the decorated interior of “The Good Time Bar”, which was celebrating it’s monthly “Honky Tonk Night”.  While Lola signalled to the friendly bartender in the leather steson, fu manchu and nipple revealing white wifebeater, Mimi reached for the glittery tape recorder, ready to forever record down all of Gena’s answers to our pre-prepared hard-hitting, no nonsense, intellectually stimulating questions.

 

RipMyBodice: Let’s start with the simple questions before we hit you with our more controversial stuff. What are some of the names you go by?

GS: Gena Showalter, Gina Showalter, Gyna Monroewalter, Gyna Colewalter, Gyna Castwalter, Jeanna, Jena, Jina, Miss Showatty, Beana and sometimes, Listen, you! Basically, everyone I know has a different name for me.

 

RipMyBodice: Name the books or if you prefer, series..serieses? Series (we nervously laugh realising that our possible careers as Romance editors have gone down the toilet) you have written

GS: (pause) I’ll go with series cos I’ve just counted up all my books and am now in shock. There’s - Lords of the Underworld, Tales of an Extraordinary Girl, Atlantis, Imperia, Alien Huntress and Intertwined

GS: Only two? I could list hundreds!

 

RipMyBodice: We don’t have that kind of time - we’ve got a special bonding surprise planned for all of us in a few minutes!

GS: Fine, two. “A Hunger Like No Other” by Kresley Cole, and “Slave to Sensation” by Nalini Singh. And…and…stopping is torture!

 

RipMyBodice: (Lola nods in agreement while Sheridan gives GS a chest thump) (By which we mean Sheridan thumps her own chest, not the chest of GS because that is called sexual harassment) Which books of yours would you want made into a movie, and who would you ask to play the hero and heroine? P.S - We’re totally available, just so you know.

GS: I only get to pick one? Seriously. You guys are cruel. “Playing with Fire” - Megan Fox (or one of you) to play Belle Jamison, and Josh Duhamel would play Rome Masters. I would play the towel Josh uses after showering.

 

RipMyBodice: Hunh. And suddenly we’re not so interested in playing the lead role. Thanks for that. Okay, next question - If you were an alcoholic drink, what drink would you be?

GS: Skittles vodka.

 

RipMyBodice: Seriously?

GS: Yes! Dump a handful of skittles in a glass, fill with vodka, wait until candy dissolves. Drink. It’s fruity, comes on strong and might make you gag at first but is also highly addictive (actually my fingers are just crossed - here’s hoping! - on that last one).

 

RipMyBodice: Yeah we’re not going to be trying out that drink anytime soon. What super power do you wish you had?

GS: I want to be able to switch identities with only a thought. Fun!

 

RipMyBodice: Ooh! That’s a good one. Much better than Lola’s wish for invisibility (so as to better extend her Chanel collection), Sheridan’s wish for Man-gnetic powers and Mimi’s wish to travel through time to speak to serial killers. So what research did you do in preparation for your Lords of the Underworld and Atlantic series. Oh and by the by, you may at this point if you wish, reveal the actual secret location of that “castle of torment yet Alpha manly goodness” and waterfall to “land of Alpha dragon man candy delights!” The more detailed the directions the better because honestly, we’re useless at reading maps:

GS: For the Lords, I read up on Pandora’s box as well as Greek/ Titan gods. I took what I wanted and discarded the rest. For the Atlantis series, I simply perused mythology books, looking for creatures that struck my fancy.

 

RipMyBodice: And your answer to our second question? (The girls lean in closer to GS)

GS: The way to both is the same. Bribery! I can be bought

 

RipMyBodice: (momentary pause as the girls confer to tally up their respective total net worths and Sheridan’s strained whisper of “No I don’t think $13.65 is going to get us very far you guys!” is heard) Heh heh we’ll get back to you on that one. So what were you doing before you were at this interview?

GS: I was writing a chapter of “Unravelled”, the sequel to “Intertwined”. As well as pulling out my hair, cursing, pacing, finishing off the vodka bottle, eating skittles and checking my email.

 

RipMyBodice: (transfixed by the now noticed bald spot on GS’s head) And…what would you rather be doing?

GS: I believe I mentioned something about a towel earlier…

 

RipMyBodice: You are our idol. Now complete this sentence! “If I didn’t write Romance novels for a living I would be - “

GS: A slobbery ball of hysterical tears with smeared skittles all over her face.

 

RipMyBodice: And if you could be the heroine in any one of your books, who would you be?

GS: Maybe Bride from “Seduce the Darkness”. She tamed the biggest womanizer of all time and has so many supernatural powers they have to be buried under thorns and fire inside her.

 

RipMyBodice: Complete this other sentence - “My next hero is like BLANK doughnut and likes to sleep BLANK”

GS: My next hero is like a twisted, sprinkled ginormous and utterly delicious doughnut and likes to sleep with me.

 

RipMyBodice: (Sheridan pulls out her blackberry to set herself down for an amazon pre-order of all of GS’s upcoming books while Lola scribbles a reminder on her arm) Give us your shameless plug. What are you writing now?

GS: Romance-wise, I will be tackling edits for the upcoming “The Darkest Passion” (Aeron’s story) and “The Darkest Lie” (Gideon’s story). And to give you a secret tidbit, I think Amun will be next. Tell no one. Except feel free to tell everyone.

 

RipMyBodice: OUR FIRST SCOOP! (The girls high - five each other and call the bartender over for a round of vodka and a bowl of skittles)

GS: These stories have plot twists that shocked even me. The romances are hotter and the stakes are higher. Oh yeah, and someone dies (Please don’t let that be me, now that I’ve admitted that terrible fact).

 

RipMyBodice: Feel free to use our offices as your secret writing sanctum at any time. We have harboured many a wanted fugitives. Mostly us but I’m sure we can accomodate another! Anything else?

GS: I’ve got lots of books due to hit stores soon. The upcoming “Deep Kiss of Winter” with the amazing Kresley Cole. These are not short stories. They are pretty much full length. I’ve got “Heart of Darkness”, an anthology with a Lords of the Underworld novella. I’ve got “Twice as Hot” the sequel to “Playing With Fire”. And then, of course, the new full-length Lords books!

 

RipMyBodice: Wow! Looks like we’ve got our review work cut out for us in the coming months. We wish you every success on your upcoming books but before we reveal our secret bonding surprise activity, a final question from specifically, Lola. Who is Paris going to get together with and can it be her?

GS: Now there’s a secret I can’t reveal! But I can tell you that I’ve finally figured out his story and so you’ll be seeing threads of him in all the upcoming Lords of the Underworld books. But yes, Lola has always been a contender for his heart.

 

RipMyBodice: (Sheridan rolls her eyes at the now preening Lola) Thank you GS for agreeing to be our first interviewee! We’re very thankful you didn’t trash our e-mail to be honest. And now, good sir with the fu manchu, please present our surprise for GS! Sheridan drum rolls as a mechanical bull attached to the middle of the bar, festooned with a lacy red bra and the word “Humphrey” on its rump (no doubt inked there by some enterprising soul).

 

[Interviewer's note: GS never did return from the bathroom break she insisted on taking before climbing up on Humphrey and the girls spent the night discovering indeed that vodka and skittles do make a lovely combination once one gets over the slightly mottled brownish-grey appearance of the liquid]