RipMyBodice’s Proposed Titles: Romance industry, take notes!
Date: 1 September 2009
From: buddingeditorwriter@hotromance.com
Subject: Need assistance
Dear RipMyBodice Girls,
Firstly, I have to say that I totally love you guys! How you manage to write such great reviews, keep up with the latest fashion, and not end up in the state penitentiary for drunk and disorderly conduct I will never know but if you can help me with this, you’d totally be my heroes! I work in the Romance writing industry and every month or so we’re asked to pitch ideas for potential Romance novels in 30 words or less. It’s got to be snappy, with a title that’ll just grab you by the hair and lure you to buy the book. Do you guys have any ideas?
Hopeful,
Miss Stressed Out.
PS: Do you think you could loan out Juan and Sven to me for a weekend or so? I’ve got some muscles I’d like them to work on.
Date: 2 September 2009
From: ladies@ripmybodice.com
To: buddingeditorwriter@hotromance.com
Subject: Re: Need assistance
Dear Miss Stressed Out,
Shed your cares away like your grandma’s cheap smelly pleather jacket from the 1970s. My friend, you have come to the right place for this is the fount, nay the holy grail of Romance information, ideas and dirty fantasies. We just so happen to have an entire folder filled with such bountiful goodies we’d be delighted to share with you, and only you, so that you may impress the socks off your boss at the next department meeting. Please find below, 10 of our best proposed titles:
(1) He promised her he’d always be there when she asked but little did she know, that Dick Can’t Come Tonight
(2) In feudal England, their warring families threatened to keep the lovers apart but The Pen-is, Mighter Than The Sword
(3) Brought together by their love of musicals, torn apart by her lisp; Will their love survive? Sch-long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen Adieu
(4) Under the big top, they discovered love. In the tiger’s cage, they discovered loss. Expore the depths of carnie passion in…The Midget Clown Who Loved Me
(5) To save her, he’d willingly die a thousand deaths in an ugly blue overall. Super Mario & Princess Toadstool
(6) In the world of BDSM and alternative homoerotic sexual practices, the depth of their passion would shock them both as they explored…The Dark Passage of Love
(7) A billionaire, his mistress and their baby. The Billionaire, His Mistress & Their Baby
(8) The second he touched her, hek new that he would bind her body to his forever. Now Where Is That String?
(9) He wanted her with a passion he could not contain and was forbidden to them both. For the Mistress of his Desire, was…The Mistress of His Sire
(10) Rivals at work, can their personal lives overcome their professional differences? I Love You; Please Die
We can’t wait to hear how your meeting went! Please do write a detailed email back to us about how well our ideas were received (remember, laughter and finger pointing are in some cultures, considered compliments! (That’s what our mamas tell us anyway)).
PS: No.
XOXO!
Lola, Sheridan & Mimi
PS: No.
[RipMyBodice note: We never heard from Miss Stressed Out again]
Jessica Kennedy said,
September 30, 2009 @ 9:14 am
Awesome.
You never cease to make me smile.
Bernadette said,
September 30, 2009 @ 8:18 pm
Thanks again for starting my day off with a laugh!
Frannie said,
September 30, 2009 @ 9:44 pm
“The pen-is mightier than the sword” - too funny, and now there’s ginger tea all over my screen!
Julie Bo Boolie said,
September 30, 2009 @ 9:54 pm
(7) A billionaire, his mistress and their baby. The Billionaire, His Mistress & Their Baby
bwahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahah
hahahahh
hahahahah
*rubs tears from eyes*
hahahahhaha
Fancy said,
September 30, 2009 @ 10:06 pm
My favorite is no 7! It so sums up Harlequin Presents.
Monkey said,
October 1, 2009 @ 9:06 am
Thanks for always making me smile!
Fifi Trixibelle said,
October 2, 2009 @ 12:59 am
Midgets???? Oh, give it to one of the Samhain writers
LadyCurvyA.K.APHR said,
November 2, 2009 @ 2:31 am
Lolzzzzzzzzzzzz No. 10 … DIEEEEE!!! :p
Lady of Shadows said,
November 2, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
Love number 9,kinda disturbing though….