Reunited and it feels so good
“Not Quite A Husband” by Sherry Thomas
Methinks Sherry Thomas likes
Heroes and heroines who always fight
Her latest book (like Books One and Two)
Features a couple who
Lived together as man and wife
But broke up because of marital strife
The heroine is Byrony Asquith
(Rhyming this is gonna be hard, she sniffs)
A female well ahead of her time
Being a doctor whose social skills lag behind
She’d married London’s Number 1 pick
Who all womankind had wanted to lick
The divine Honorable Leo Marsden
(Lola’s hands itch to run all over him)
But why did their marriage go kaput you ask
That’s a secret kept buried in their past
Now Leo’s off to India to track B down
Because her dad’s ill and she’s wanted back in town
Leo had no clue why
Byrony requested a decree nisi
He thinks it’s coz she’s an icicle pop
And his penis he feared would drop
Everytime he took her to his bed
Never knowing that she was filled with dread
Unbeknownst to Leo that muddled boy
Byrony had once been filled with joy
But due to a house call before the wedding
Poor B was later overcome with loathing
For who should she spy with despair
But her beloved Leo, whose dick with another did share
The groom-to-be played hide the salami
With some illicit skanky bunny
“What a fool I’ve been,” says Leo in reproof
“But relieved am I that my beloved will never learn the truth.”
Oh Leo dear, someone should have mentioned before
That when screwing illicit nookie, always shut the door
So now Leo is back to reclaim his wife
Even though he swears he won’t have her in his life
And so they begin their trek through the Hindu Kush
Which gives B a chance to ogle Leo’s tush
And when Leo discovers Byrony’s inner pain
His heart doth curdle and bleed with shame
Did I mention yet that I like this book?
Even though it felt like we took
A crash course in the Indian National Geographic
(When I’m really more interested in Leo’s dick)
And poor Leo doesn’t expect a second chance
As Byrony leads him on a merry dance
There were moments so sweet
When Lola sniffed and swore
And skimmed over the Indian bits
(Which were a bore)
Like how Leo loved Byrony since he was two
And pined for her when she was away at school
He’d been in love with her all his life
Yet made a mistake before she became his wife
He begs for her forgiveness, for her love again
But will she ever retake his name?
For Byrony had been hurt in the past
Seeing Leo spread his virile man musk
But all’s well that ends well,
As my friend Willie S said
(Never underestimate the power of getting laid)
Because Mr and Mrs Marsden do reconcile
And the epilogue will really make you smile
The sweetest thing I’ve read recently
It’s bound to bring a tear of sentimentality!
Though it seemed like one long geography class
What with Indian caves and the mountain pass
Which actually made this book much shorter
As I wished I had a wand like Harry Potter
To wave away the scenery parts
And zoom right in on matters of the heart
But I say again, Sherry Thomas is a real good writer
And my hope is that she’ll do me a favor
And stay away from couples with baggage
Let them not have been joined in marriage
Because a fan of flashbacks I am not
Stay in the present, where the sex is hot!
Theresa said,
August 5, 2009 @ 12:40 am
This one made me laugh out loud: “spread his virile man musk”
Too funny!
Lilli Feisty said,
August 5, 2009 @ 4:40 am
I really love this blog. You guys crack me up!!
Kate Pearce said,
August 5, 2009 @ 8:21 am
I liked this one a lot
both the book and the poetry 
La Lola said,
August 25, 2009 @ 10:45 am
All I can say is, rhyming ain’t easy my friends, but you’ll be amazed what a bottle of Jack D can help you come up with!