Dear Mr Important Recruiter,

I am applying for a job as a secretary. I can type pretty fast and am good at organization. More importantly, I believe I am qualified to be a secretary because of all the extensive research I have done by reading Harlequin romances. As you may know, Harlequin romances always feature secretaries who fall in love with their bosses. I have not fallen in love with my boss (possibly because I do not have one) but I would like to, because male bosses seem to be young, good looking, hung like racehorses and extremely rich. I would like to work under someone like this please. Take that any way you like.
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“Between the Devil and Desire” by Lorraine Heath

I am beyond pleased that I finally remembered (i.e. I caved and asked Lola) the author of a historical series featuring a band of street kids living on the streets of London, each eventually turning into ridiculously good looking adults. Lorraine Heath’s book “Between the Devil and Desire” provided me with an afternoon of clean, good old-fashioned no fuss Romance reading; until I got towards the end and then my head spun out of control.

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“Comanche Moon” by Catherine Anderson
10 Wisdoms From The Great Spirits Of The Place Where The Sun Rises

1. She of Yellow Hair and Blue Eyes will fulfill the prophecy – Loretta is white golden woman. Hunter is half-white, all man. Like the great cougar, Hunter sweeps across the Land to find The Golden Woman, to fulfill the prophecy of The People. Like the strong buffalo, Hunter captures The Golden Woman onto his horse. Like the blind mole, Hunter wants to burrow into Golden Woman’s warm nest. Listen good Hunter: maybe Loretta not be the one in the Prophecy. Likely in the next town there also be Golden Woman. Maybe you try look harder Kemosabe.
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“Raine: Lords of Satyr” by Elizabeth Amber

Sheridan Sakura Carlotta’s thoughts and notes on “Raine: Lords of Satyr” (also known as Please God Help Your Child Sheridan Maintain Her Sanity And Heal Her Of Her Recurring Tendency To Purchase Books Based Solely On Their Covers Amen); written concurrently as she reads this book and tries very hard not to scream “ARE YOU SH*TTING ME” as loud outbursts of sound tend to draw complaints from the neighbours.

(1) Meditated briefly to recall pertinent facts of the Satyr story as set out in Nicholas’s book and mentally prepared self. Assured self that having at least read the first book, this second book in the series would be more of the same and therefore would receive no major surprises (the kind that’ll leave a girl staring wide-eyed at her ceiling cos she’s too frightened to go to bed). Feel better! Open book.

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“My Wicked Marquess” by Gaelen Foley
So the good reviewers on Amazon have been pretty harsh on Gaelen Foley’s latest book “My Wicked Marquess” and the first in her latest series “The Inferno Club.” Wouldn’t it be funny if for once, romance novel heroes weren’t members of some ultra cool, flash-sounding club but instead belonged to “We *heart* fu manchus” or “Syphilis Survivors and Proud Of It”? Unfortunately for me, I only read the reviews after I’d bought the book. So with trepidation in my heart and a lag in my step, I read GF’s book and maybe it’s because I had low expectations but I didn’t think it was that bad. Yeah it wasn’t as good as “The Duke” but it was definitely better than the Spice Trilogy.
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“The Warrior’s Damsel” by Denise Hampton

< PING! >

< MimiSKULLSRUS> : Hola! How was your Saturday?

< SheridanSC > : Hola! It was fabulous. Nothing like having Juan and Sven over for a thoroughly therapeutic marathon uhm..yoga session. Though dude, I swear I had the strongest sense of deja vu ever after spending most of it reading “The Warrior’s Damsel” by Denise Hampton.

< MimiSKULLSRUS>: So that’s where they went! Sheridan you greedy rule breaking whore!! You know taking both Juan and Sven off the RMB floor requires the written consent of both Lola and I! Btw re: deja vu  - you know what this means

< SheridanSC >: ??

< MimiSKULLSRUS> : The matrix is real!

< SheridanSC >: …….

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“Ashes of Midnight” by Lara Adrian
Dossier # 1978

Name: Andreas Reichen

Special skill: Pyrokinetic, with the ability to churn up waves of flame when he gets angry (which is often, quite a grumpy boots he is). Quite hot, both literally and figuratively. Handy to have at a barbeque but keep an eye on him in case he burns the marshmallows.

Nickname: “Great Balls of Fire”
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“Start Me Up” by Victoria Dahl

“MeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” bellowed Sheridan as she opened the sliding doors leading to the RMB pool

“What”

“Oh I didn’t see you there! Oh for heaven’s sake! You can’t sunbathe topless anymore! Didn’t you get the memo Lola and I sent you? We can’t afford another fine for disturbing the peace” Sheridan ended in a mutter, shielding her eyes from the sight of Mimi’s unbound breasts. “I want to run a review by you and it’s done to your favourite song - “Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna. Let me know what you think okay?” Sheridan asked while dragging her boombox towards Mimi.

“Why - ” started Mimi, whose remaining words were drowned out by the loud opening strains of the song and Sheridan’s singing

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“Impetuous” by Lori Foster

Now the premise of this book is supposedly (and loosely) based on the whole Cinderella/ Ugly Duckling storyline. Carlie’s a frumpy school teacher whose bordering on spinsterdom and who thanks to her BFF, gets shoved in a sexy harem girl outfit and dragged to a costume party. The male lead in this story is Tyler, the too-sexy-for-my-pants lawyer who has no lack of gorgeous vapid model-like girls on his arm but who, his brother claims, secretly yearns for a stable normal girlfriend who’ll kiss away his childhood traumas (mommy was the town’s easy rider and daddy didn’t love him none) and love him for him. Now check it - Tyler’s brother is married to Carlie’s BFF and so having spent a reasonable amount of time in Tyler’s beautiful presence, it is understandable that Carlie has somewhat of a teensy weensy crush on him though at this point she’d rather eat dirt than admit. *Sheridan starts chanting “eat dirt! eat dirt! eat dir- Oh hey Lola. Napping wer- OUCH!”*

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“Not Quite A Husband” by Sherry Thomas
Methinks Sherry Thomas likes
Heroes and heroines who always fight
Her latest book (like Books One and Two)
Features a couple who
Lived together as man and wife
But broke up because of marital strife
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