Strawberry fields forever
“Bound to Please” by Lilli Feisty
So after reading “Bound to Please”, I had to take my fourth shower in 2 hours. And as I let the icy cold water wash over my body and as I lathered myself with a frozen bar of soap (we keep a ready supply of those in the freezer for days/books like this), I thought about how I ended up reading this book - this book filled with ropes, S&M, bad wigs, candle wax, public sex, a remote vibrator and a strawberry. Think ye that one of these things are not like the other? Think ye that one of these things just doesn’t belong? Tsk. Clearly you are new to this website.
Ruby Scott is the heroine of this book, a 37 year old raven haired tattoo sporting events planner who despite her professional vintage wearing cardi touting demeanour, yearns to be tied up and spanked hard. *hears a loud shout of “AMEN!” coming from the direction of Lola’s office* Huh. Anyway, Ruby’s organised an event at which the Dark Riders are to perform (the Dark Riders being the band of the hero Mark St. Crow and not to be confused with a biker gang of middle aged pounchy unwashed white men in leather vests and long beards) and is overheard by the sexy lead guitarist that she would be happy to be her best friend Meg’s personal tour guide into the underworld of kink. Now excuse me while I take a minute to write down this line so that I too may use it when the opportunity arises. *Sheridan scribbles on her hand* Ok now where was I? Ah yes. So Mark St. Crow immediately hones in on this..raven haired beauty and he tells her he recognises her (or rather, her cherry blossom tattoo) from a picture he recently bought, of a bound naked woman. Ruby is instantly embarassed but yet, dismisses it a second later because well, let’s face it, she’s being attacked by Mark’s sexual heat (similar to that of a supernova) and he drags her outside into the night to assert his dominance over her and the bricked wall she was leaning on. If my friends, you think this is the “public sex” portion of the book as referred to above, you would be mistaken and disappointed. Instead of meshing bones into the wall, Mark instead invites Ruby to watch his show; instructing her to make sure she stands at a very specific part of the stage so that he may see her when he performs. As he’s in the middle of a set, a stage hand intern guy comes by and passes Ruby a note. An instruction letter if you will, commanding that she take off her panties and put them in her purse. Now Ruby, being the MENSA talent that she is, refuses, knowing that no doubt, she would be punished later for her disobedience.
And this is shortly where I had to take my first shower, because punish her he did. With the leather belt he had on him (as ties), a paddle (I think it was her hairbrush though I cannot be sure) and his tie (as blindfold), Mark St. Crow teaches us a very important lesson in the underworld of kink - props are all around you. After their mind-blowing sexcapade on the couch of Ruby’s living room, Mark decides to take up Meg’s husband’s offer of using the local studio to record the Dark Riders’ new album so that he can continue to act as Ruby’s dom. So Mark then takes Ruby out on a date to the Ritz Carlton aaannd this is about where I had to take my second shower. After coaxing Ruby to take off her white panties (which she then locks in the rented Ferrari’s glove compartment by accident), Mark presents Ruby with a necklace from Tiffany’s - a lock pendant of sorts that will act as a symbol of Mark’s ownership of Ruby’s entire body/mind/soul whenever she wears it. After charming the girl with bling, Mark then proceeds to torment Ruby throughout dinner. A true gentleman if I ever saw one. For those keeping score, this is also where the strawberry comes in. Who knew an innocent strawberry could be a tool for such great power? I surely didn’t. And for the record I will never look at a strawberry the same way again. After dinner Ruby and Mark take off for a moonlight stroll along the beach where Mark then makes Ruby take off all her clothes and then ties her to the trunk of a tree (using some convenient jasmine vines that happened to be present at the time) and has his way with her. I wonder what would have happened if it were poison ivy vines because he did bind her entire body to that tree. I’m just sayin’. What do you mean I’m looking a little green around the edges?! Bah.
Throughout their tryst together, Ruby tries to maintain distance from Mark, demanding that he not say goodbye to her when he leaves because she can’t take goodbyes due to a childhood trauma of having her parents abandon her and her sister to sail around the world. Mark however becomes more and more obsessed with Ruby, scrolling her name in his notebook and composing a love ballad to her entitled RUBY MINE. Yes. This is when I had to reach into the freezer to drag out a batch of Juan’s homemade Margarita ice-cream with a side serving of Margarita. Mark’s inability to focus on anything other than Ruby’s jeweled treasure trove of kink has however, gotten the rest of the Dark Riders a bit testy and so they call him on the fact that he is falling for an unwanted distraction to the band’s higher purpose. Mark denies this of course but when on tour in some other city far far away from Ruby’s love nest, he sends a box of goodies to his beloved’s home. A box containing leather cuffs and a vibrator. Ladies, herewith I present, shower three.
Now before I continue I’d like to first and foremost ask Lilli Feisty (in the event she is lurking on this blog) what kind of remote controlled vibrator works across state lines and where I may purchase such an item from. Not for me you understand. For…my friend. Beridan. That’s right. Anyway, Mark calls Ruby upon her receipt of the box and invites her to strap herself down in a chair wherein the leather ankle cuffs come into play. She snaps a picture for him and then, well, the games begin. A long long LONG shower was subsequently taken therefore by this reviewer. Unfortunately Mark doesn’t go fast enough for Ruby and so when she takes matters into her own hands, he hangs up on her; seeking to teach her the meaning of trust - and then he goes into his bathroom and takes matters into his own hands with a bar of soap he stole from Ruby’s bathroom (so that it’s as if she’s right there with him). Aww!
Somewhere along the way, Ruby and her BFF Meg (who is looking to spice up her own marriage) decide to visit an S&M sex club where one can enter for a mere $20 each (where IS this place?!) and learn about paddling, candle waxing, spanking, tying, and such other activities you never want your mother to find out you’re interested in. Mark however overhears this and flies into a jealous rage, thinking that Ruby participated in one of the “classes” offered at that fine institution of higher learning (since the school of which I speak is an interactive one, founded on practical life experiences as opposed to theoretical text). When he finds out that she only wanted to be his (and only his) study buddy, he comes back to San Franciso all contrite, and takes her virginity on the dining table. Now if you’re wondering how that is possible, you are definately new to this blog.
Amazingly enough you should know that I have not described all the sex scenes in this book which is not to say that the entire book contains nothing but sex. I really liked Ruby. Maybe envied her a little (bitch) and I certainly did like Mark. Oh yeah and the rest of the characters in the book weren’t too bad. Lilli Feisty did a great job melding in everyday life, everyday issues and blimey hot sex and you can be sure I’m going to be rooting out all of her other books. Wait what was shower number 4 you ask? Well. Let’s just say that Ruby finally gets to be on top with hot wax. Every sub has her day my friends. Now. I’m going to go lie on the cool marble flooring in our office foyer. Please excuse me.
Laura @ ImBookingIti said,
July 10, 2009 @ 9:21 am
I’m clearly buying my books from the wrong section of the bookstore. Or the wrong bookstore.
(Did I really just say that?)
Shela said,
July 10, 2009 @ 11:16 am
Oh, wow. WOW. I know it’s not the word to describe this but well, it works for me. BTP seems a bit too kinky for my taste though. But wait… she’s a 37 year-old virgin? Now that’s unheard of.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
July 10, 2009 @ 11:40 am
Hi Laura! I suggest buying a pair of extra dark Jackie O-esque sunglasses when picking this book up at the store. You have no idea how many leery looks I had to endure from the pimply teenage man-child at the counter!
Shela - She’s a 37 year old virgin in butt action my friend. That is what I meant.
cutepolishgirl68 said,
July 11, 2009 @ 1:57 am
I loved this book and I just want to say for the record that I do not require a Tiffany necklace. If I could find someone as talented as Mark (sorry Rico), I would wear a freakin’ padlock on a dog chain.
Now I just have to start a hiding place for my bdsm book collection from my pre-teen son who I found out was googling for naked wwe diva pictures- but that is another saga….
Gummy Bear said,
July 11, 2009 @ 11:41 am
gawd i am such a prude when getting books at the library/bookstore. sheridan, loved the review (as always) and now this will go into my cart for amazon. hee.
Julie Bo Boolie said,
July 12, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
this review eerily coincides with DH’s late night online shopping spree at Aren’t We Naughty… A sign? I think so! Putting it in my wishlist!
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
July 13, 2009 @ 8:26 am
CPG - I am curious and yet, reluctantly hesitant to find out why you were googling for naked wwe diva pictures. Also, I hear you about the Tiffany necklace. Though I wouldn’t pass up that designer dress he bought her. Probably sans the nipple clamps though!
Gummy Bear - Big big dark glasses my friend. Always the key. And don’t make eye contact!
Julie Bo Boolie - Get this book out of your wishlist and into the checkout cart!!
Julie Bo Boolie said,
July 13, 2009 @ 9:59 am
I actually just bought the whole Lora Leigh Breeds series so I’m banned from buying for a few more months. I think LL’ll keep me more than busy for a bit tho
Kate Pearce said,
July 14, 2009 @ 4:11 am
I got to read this before publications as Ms. Feisty is a buddy of mine and I loved it-I’ll tell her to look you up on the blog!
p.s. also glad you are back-was worried that one of my books had finally silenced you because of its sheer awfulness LOL
Lilli Feisty said,
August 1, 2009 @ 11:19 am
OMG, I am so glad my friend sent me this review! I’m smiling so wide right now.
And yes, there IS such a thing as a remote-controlled vibrator. Am I allowed to post the link here? 
That was totally based on…my friend’s experience. Beridan gets around.
Lilli Feisty said,
August 1, 2009 @ 11:21 am
MENSA leader! Love it!
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
August 1, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
HELLOOOO MS FEISTY! Thanks for dropping by and visiting our blog
Totally loved your book and can’t wait to read more (though perhaps this time while lying in an iced bath or something to help save the earth).
Now a remote controlled vibrator I - I mean, Beridan has spoken of (huh. Who knew we had friends in common?) but ah..I did not know of such that could work from such a great distance away. I’ll take your word for it! (I am sorry to say that you cannot post the link here lest we get buried under the weight of spambots again).
Lilli Feisty said,
August 2, 2009 @ 12:47 am
I was afraid of that, but if you really do want to see a link to such a thing, drop me an email.
And thanks for reviewing–and liking–my book!! I think this was my favorite review so far because it really made me smile! Very witty!! Also, thanks for not capitalizing the word dom! I’m glad you noticed they didn’t have that particular type of relationship.
Julie Bo Boolie said,
December 2, 2009 @ 11:21 am
am halfway through the book finally.. you were Oh-So-Right. WOW.