Do you smile to tempt a lover, Mona Lisa?
“Mona Lisa Awakening” by Sunny
“Why hello Lola,” said Thin Pale Scary Lady to me the other day, as I happily handed over my pile of books over the counter. “Only 4 today?”
“Yeah, I’m experiencing a bit of a slow spell, and nothing’s piqued my interest, so just these 4,” I mutter, glancing at my watch, anxious to head out and maybe grab a Mushroom Swiss from Burger King for lunch.
“Then I have just the book for you!” boomed Thin Pale Scary Lady in triumph. “It has A LOT of sex. Kinky sex! Just your kind of thing!” (Supersonic jumbo jets rank lower on the sound pressure level than Thin Pale Scary Lady.)
“Errr… thanks,” I mutter weakly, as I cannot help but notice that the poor guy standing behind me in the queue has taken a huge step back away from me, clutching worriedly onto his copy of “Who Moved My Cheese.” “Yeah you should be so lucky. As if anybody’s interested in your damn stinky cheese!” I bark at him.
Which explains why I waltzed out with 8 books instead. My four original choices, and four books from the Mona Lisa series by Sunny.
So I’ll start with the first book of the series. The Mona Lisa series is a novel of the Monere, who are beings from another planet that came to earth many centuries ago. They are Children of the Moon (not to be mistaken for the freaky deaky kids in Children of the Corn) who get their powers from the moon. It’s a matriarchal society, where some very powerful women become Queens (Mona means queen to them) and Queens each have their own territory, many many hot hunky men to serve them and the ability to acquire powers through sex. Where do I sign up please?
Mona Lisa thinks she’s a human, but one day she meets this gorgeous man at the hospital where she works. His name is Gryphon and he tells her that she’s a Queen and that there are others like her. Normally if you were a sane person and someone comes up to you and goes, “Hey how you doing? Nice weather we’re having. Oh by the way you’re a Queen descended from the moon people and you gain power through sex. Follow me!” you’d be forgiven if you ran screaming in the other direction. But because Gryphon is devastatingly beautiful (aren’t they all) Mona Lisa follows him. Can’t say I blame her.
The first book starts off a bit slow, only because I have close to zero interest in Gryphon. Sure he’s good looking and pseudo mysterious, but he doesn’t push my buttons (even though he obviously pushes Mona Lisa’s.) The world that Sunny has created is really interesting though. It’s different from the usual werewolves/ vampires you have running around so after a while I get into it. Plus Mona Lisa’s a pretty decent heroine. She’s confused at being in her new world and considers herself weaker than everybody else because she has no clue what’s going on. But she can totally kick butt, as she demonstrates when she tears the dick off one of the villains and squishes it like Play-Doh beneath her feet. Whoah. Yeah sure, she throws up after that, but she really gets points for trying.
But the reason why despite Yawnfest Gryphon, I am eager to continue with this series, is because we are introduced to Halcyon. Halcyon, the High Prince of Hell, who occupies a seat on the Monere council, reigns over the Underworld and takes a liking to Mona Lisa. Halcyon, with his black eyes, gold skin, impeccably tailored suits and diamond cufflinks! Lola wuffs yooo!!! *waves frantically, raises thumb and pinky and mouths “Call Me!”* And stupid Mona Lisa although she’s attracted to him, tells him that she cannot return his love because she already has 2 other lovers. She’s like, “if I met you first it would have worked but since I didn’t, it can never be.” What kind of lame ass logic is that??? Does that mean if she fell in love with a brussels sprout farmer and after that the High Prince of Hell comes along, she’d go, “Sorry but I fell in love with Wilberforce the Brussels Sprout Farmer who is so-so in bed, but keeps me well-fed with green vegetables. Brussels Sprouts foreva!”
Fortunately, it’s clear that Halcyon will not give up his love for Mona Lisa, and swoops in to rescue her when this demon kidnaps Mona Lisa and holds her to threaten Halcyon because it’s obvious to everybody (except Mona Lisa) that the Prince of Hell is in love with the newest Queen. This is what keeps me going, and which makes me want to read on in the series because, c’mon. H-A-L-C-Y-O-N! H-A-L-C-Y-O-N! *thumps fists on table and howls at the moon.* And when Halcyon lets Mona Lisa return back to earth, informing her that he’ll always love her and that even though she has two other lovers, he will be the one she loves at last, she doesn’t choose to remain with him! *Lola starts looking around for nearest portal to hell*
And despite Thin Pale Scary Lady totally besmirching my rep by announcing to half the free world that I am into books with lots of kinky sex, I didn’t think the sex quotient in this book was really off the charts. I mean, it definitely doesn’t compare to Jaid Black and her hatching eggs and use of nipples as sedatives. But I am eagerly looking forward to checking out the rest of the series, because in case I didn’t mention this before.
H-A-L-C-Y-O-N! H-A-L-C-Y-O-N!
Renee said,
February 21, 2009 @ 10:03 am
Ooh, I’ve had this one on my tbb list for ages! I’m so glad you’re reviewing this series. I haven’t seen much about it. I’ll be looking forward the reviews of the others in the series.
What I don’t get from the review, is why is it ok for Mona Lisa to have 2 lovers, but not 3? Can’t she have Gryphon and Halcyon? (Just the way my twisty minds works.)
Lola said,
February 23, 2009 @ 9:39 am
It’s a pretty good series Renee, but it’s really more urban fantasy than straight-up romance I think. Although Mona Lisa? That girl knows how to get it ON man. She makes Anita Blake look like a cloistered nun. And apparently, the reason for why Mona Lisa takes 2 lovers but not 3 is because she doesn’t want to appear a skank. *snort* That ship has so sailed my friend. And if you ask me, Halcyon is the one she should have chosen. This is just like the time I watched “Devil Wears Prada” and Anne Hathaway went off with that greasy cook, leaving me hollering at the screen “Choose The Guardian bitches!” So yeah. Halcyon’s it.
annfes said,
March 7, 2009 @ 4:07 am
Your conversation with the Thin Pale Scary Lady reminds me of the time I worked at a bookstore and noticed that while most people will never critique your clothing, mannerisms, politics or sex life, they will feel free to point and laugh out loud at your choice in literature!!!