‘Til I hitched a ride on a riverboat queen
“The River Devil” by Diane Whiteside
It’s been a while since I read a historical set in the American West, so when I saw “The River Devil,” I figured why not give it a try? I’ve been reading about demon kings, moon queens, invisible women and Scottish lovers, so a hunky Wild Western guy should be a nice change.
Hal Lindsay is a decorated Union Navy hero and owns an empire of riverboats. He’s also the only son of a fabulously wealthy family. Hal is golden haired, broad shouldered and has the devil’s own charm. So when Rosalind Schuyler sees him for the first time, she dismisses it as him looking very good in a uniform, plus she already has a fiancé. But four months later, some villain is out to force Rosalind to marry him, so she pulls the old “let me get dressed up as a boy and hide from my enemies” trick. I wonder why this trick always manages to work in romance novels? Because honestly if I dressed up as a boy and NOBODY was able to tell that I was actually a woman, the blow to my feminine pride would be too much for me to bear.
Luckily Hal is not a complete idiot, and when he sees Rosalind in disguise several months later, he’s able to recognise her almost immediately. So he offers to hide her on his riverboat, and pretend that she’s his apprentice. Rosalind happily accepts because the girl is no fool, and so realizes that if you’re a woman alone who has to bind her badangdangs down to avoid detection, then you are safer in the company of a gorgeous military officer who towers over you and looks like a golden Viking.
I must say, for a society heiress in the late 19th century, Rosalind is a bit of an easy rider. She hops into bed with Hal the first night when they meet again, and generally leaves Hal with a very big… smile on his face. The sex scenes in this book are hot with a capital H for “How the hell does this girl know so many tricks when she’s supposed to be a sheltered debutante?” I suppose the book’s tone is in line with the sultry Mississippi weather. Anyway, I’m not complaining. But Hal has to be careful that people don’t suddenly suspect he bats for the same team when he shares a room with Rosalind dressed as a man. Awww c’mon crouching tiger, don’t hide your dragon! Although I’m pretty sure people can figure out what’s going on, seeing as how everytime Rosalind and Hal get it on, one or both of them is always howling. Yup, having read at least five times that the main couple is howling is a mite disturbing because it calls to mind the image of wild dogs mating. Or a couple of cats in an alley somewhere.
But anyway, this was a pretty easy book to read although I must confess to skimming over many of the pages involving the steam engines of the riverboats. Because dude, seriously. So not interested. But on a whole, it was an interesting change from the regular historicals out there and Hal and Rosalind make a sweet couple. Notwithstanding some of Rosalind’s historically inaccurate lusts for Hal to make her boat steam, she was a decent enough heroine who wasn’t an idiot. Plus did I mention that Hal’s a really hot riverboat captain?
And I am eager to check out some of Diane Whiteside’s earlier books. Like “Irish Devil” with William Donovan, Hal’s brother-in-law sounds really good! He’s this Irish self-made millionaire and it’s about how he falls in love with Hal’s sister, this cultured socialite. Sounds good to me!
Alexandra said,
February 16, 2009 @ 11:04 am
I’ll have to try this one! The only problem is that whole dressing up as a boy thing. At least he doesn’t go like a month without figuring it out! And can a woman really be all the great looking if she can pass as a man? I don’t think so!
Hope you had a good Valentine’s Day!
lauren said,
February 16, 2009 @ 11:25 am
I always wonder how ugly and flat chested these girls must be to be mistaken for a boy, and don;t think I haven’t stood in front of a mirror and really thought about it. There is NO WAY that I could be mistaken for a boy, of course this is pre facial hair remover days, right, so maybe these girls just got some bushy eye brows and some sad upper lip action going on.
Bridget Locke said,
February 16, 2009 @ 1:13 pm
I’m tall (6′1″), but there is NO way I could ever hide as a man. For one thing my ta-tas are too big and for another, I’ve got a butt…and hips. Men don’t, at least not like mine. he-he
Oy…ya know, I’m just not big on that storyline or on the American West…unless it’s done really well. Have you tried Samantha Kane? Caine’s Reckoning and Sam’s Creed are EXTREMELY scorching hot. She writes all types of erotica, but these are American West (or Texas…can’t remember) and the sexin’ is enough to scorch your eyeballs. Plus, she’s just a sweetheart.
Bridget Locke said,
February 16, 2009 @ 1:16 pm
Doh! *smacks head* Sorry ’bout that. Just finished reading a Samantha Kane book, so she was on my mind. It’s Sarah McCarty! Oy! I need to get my head on straight. Just shoot me now, okay?
Dulce said,
February 16, 2009 @ 11:33 pm
I could never get into any Western themed books, but this review had me in stitches. Talking about cross dressing heroines; Eloisa James’ Duchess at Night is about this and it takes the hero quite some time to figure out the heroine is actually a lady. There were several times the poor chap thought he might bat for the other team. Now I have Aerosmith’s “Dude Looks Like a Lady” in my head!
Shannon C. said,
February 18, 2009 @ 11:08 am
I’m sorry, La Lola. I couldn’t even read this review, because there actually is a guy named Hal Lindsey who apparently wrote one of the classics of apocalyptic Christian literature. Even if this Hal spells his name differently, which it seems he does, I couldn’t read the book without wondering if he meant rapture literally when it came to certain scenes.
Why yes, I am going to hell. Why do you ask?
Lola said,
February 19, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
It is I, La Lola, with the “La” dropped because I have been locked out of my own website for the past 3 weeks, relying only on Sheridan to post storage reviews for me while Mimi sorts this out.
Alexandra, I had a great V day, and hope you did too! Re. not looking so hot if you could potentially be disguised as a boy: I totally agree. And wouldn’t you always wonder if your husband was secretly attracted to pre-pubescent looking boys?
“I always wonder how ugly and flat chested these girls must be to be mistaken for a boy, and don;t think I haven’t stood in front of a mirror and really thought about it.” For some reason I found this hilarious Lauren.
Heya Bridget Locke, whilst being very envious of your above-average bazookas, I have to confess that I have indeed read Sarah McCarthy’s Caine’s Reckoning. As for how I felt about it, err. you can check out the review.
Hi Shannon C! Sorry, but as I am unfamiliar with apocalyptic Christian literature, my only thought of Hal Lindsey was as a riverboat captain with a very big.. engine.
Lori said,
March 6, 2009 @ 2:38 pm
Oh… Irish Devil was sooo good. I loved it. Smexy with a capital SM.