The Adventures of Paranormal Boy and Invisible Girl
“Tempted by the Night” by Elizabeth Boyle
So if you’re planning on reading “Tempted by the Night” by Elizabeth Boyle, be ready to suspend your belief and sense of reason because girls, does this book have some real “what the?” moments.
I quite like Elizabeth Boyle’s books because they’re really easy to read, and I loved “Love Letters From a Duke” but “Tempted by the Night,” which is the second book in the magical ring series, is a bit out there for me. (Remember, I’m the girl who read the book where the guy had 2 penises, one of which was covered in steel-wool.) I mean, it sounded normal and all. Lady Hermione Marlowe has been in love with Lord Rockhurst her entire life. He’s never noticed her though and is always running off to do some super suspicious stuff every night. So when she stumbles onto a magical ring, she wishes that she can uncover all his secrets.
So looking at the deceptive cover and reading the deceptive blurb of this book, you would be forgiven if you did not expect the following:
(A) That Hermione turns invisible. Because from dusk to dawn, she becomes all Harry Potter-invisibility cloakish, and you can only see her clothes once she removes them (convenient that). And so Hermione decides to use this new found power to spy on her beloved Rockhurst. (Me, I would maybe go into Chanel and help myself to a couple of bags but not everybody has the intelligence to make use of a gift like this.) And you know, Hermione doesn’t even use her gift to spy on Rockhurst in useful ways or anything by jumping into the shower and acting as his invisible loofah. Sigh. Must you teach some people everything?
(B) That Rockhurst is The Paratus. “The whaaaa—-?” You may ask. The Paratus is a title that is passed down in generations, and Rockhurst has inherited the new mantle, by which he must protect London and its inhabitants from the dreaded hell creature known as Melaphor. At this point I kind of put down the book, looked at the cover again and wailed to the heavens, “But I just thought he was a spy for England!!!!!” So yeah, a bit surprising that suddenly you have a paranormal spirit hunter thrown in here along with a magical ring and an invisible heroine. Whowouldathunkit?
Needless to say dear reader, I was most taken aback by points A and B above. But you know, I am a trusting person. I believe things that people tell me. Like I believe that chocolate is good for the soul and that red wine is good for the heart and that one day Gerard Butler will ask me to blow his bagpipes (Mimi told me this once because she was in a charitable mood and I hold her to it.) So if the author tells me that nobody can see her heroine and her hero is some kind of Regency Batman, I believe her, and tell myself that I will read on. Although I do look crossly at the cover and mutter to myself, “Shouldn’t there be some indication that the girl’s invisble? Like have him hug thin air or something? Or maybe an arrow pointing to her saying “Not visible with the ordinary eye.” Some sort of warning Avon Art Department, would be good.
And having said all that, “Tempted By the Night” isn’t bad. It’s funny and it’s quite sweet reading about how Rockhurst is obsessed to find his mystery woman and yet can never seem to see her because she always manages to materialize out of sight of him. And how Rockhurst starts to haunt all the society parties trying to decipher clues to the woman he’s fallen in love with and is all puppy-doggish. Coz you know in most romance novels, the hero’s like, “Show me the goods baby!” And here, Rockhurst is like, “Show me your face woman!” Sweet. Because Rockhurst, what if she has no nose? Did you ever think of that? Or three ears?? Or a tattoo of an asparagus stalk on her vagina? You’re a brave man.
And so now, this brings me to the most important part of this review. The physics of invisible sex.
HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO IT????!?!?!?!
Because the sex that these two get up to, is done without benefit of corporality on the part of the woman. How does he find her coochie? How does he know where to put it in? How does he find all the other magical bits? What if he’s been doing it in her navel? Has he been putting it into a crack in the wall? What if somebody walks in on him and he looks like he’s jackhammering into thin air like some whackjob? Especially when Rockhurst ravishes Hermione in a maze at a garden party. Maybe he can pretend he was doing it with a bush.
And of course, Rockhurst manages to take advantage of the situation the first time when Invisible Girl is unconscious and Rockhurst reaches out to help her and he grabs hold of her breast and he’s like, “I must surely help this poor, visibility-challenged creature but ooohhh…. squishy!” But seriously, props to Rockhurst for managing to navigate the invisible terrain of Hermoine’s body without hesitation. (All you men who claim not to be able to locate the g-spot because you can’t see it — FOR SHAME.) Good job Rockhurst! Some heroes aren’t good at the whole sex thing. You manage to push ALL the buttons even though you can’t see them! *does finger and pinky gesture* Call me!
Phantom Inkheart said,
January 17, 2009 @ 11:08 am
Oh Lord, I have to check out this book. I love the reviews here, so entertaining and downright hilarious. And Gerard Butler’s bagpipes, that leaves a nice image. hehe!
Kaitlin/Bridget Locke said,
January 17, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
Again, the only invisible sex I can think of that I ENJOYED *snicker* is Buffy & Spike.
Amy said,
January 17, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
Sweet review! And now I’m really glad I have the book on my TBR. Is it tied to a series, or am I doing the whole Hoyt/Hoyle/Boyle confusion thing again?
carolyn jean said,
January 17, 2009 @ 10:56 pm
I could buy invisible sex if you could feel the person, but, hmmm. THis sounds like an inventive book, and I’m glad you found it sweet after you got over the disbelief problems.
Steel wool on one of two penises?
Dulce said,
January 18, 2009 @ 5:30 am
This book is on my TBR pile. I skimmed over it when I first bought it and rolled my eyes as I read passages of Hermione wearing the ring and becoming invisible; especially the part when she and Rockhurst do the horizontal mambo for the first time. I would have loved if the cover really would have shown the hero embracing air. That would have been something different alright. LOL
I am currently reading Anne Gracie’s “The Stolen Princess” and have to complete reading Collette Gales’s “Master: An Erotic Tale of the Count of Monte Cristo”. Yowza! This book has tarnished Victor Hugo’s tale for life!
MsMoonlight said,
January 19, 2009 @ 9:15 am
quote from post: “(Remember, I’m the girl who read the book where the guy had 2 penises, one of which was covered in steel-wool.)”
:::falls of chair hysterically laughing!::: LOL Oh LOL some more! You really, REALLY should have posted a warning, I could have been drinking my hot tea at the moment I read that! *g*
La Lola said,
January 20, 2009 @ 11:28 am
*hi5* Phantom Inkheart. No image involving Gerard can ever be too salacious for us. Which reminds me, I still need to do a review of the last Phantom book! *scribbles note to self*
Kaitlin/ Bridget Locke: I was marathoning BTVS the other day. Good times. Yummy Spike with his peroxide hair can invsible-do me any day.
Hey Amy, it’s the second in a series. The first is “His Mistress By Morning,” which features the elder brother of Invisible Girl, and Invisible Girl’s BFF.
Yo Carolyn Jean! Yeah I really like Elizabeth Boyle, so am going to go check out the rest of her booklist. The books aren’t angsty or anything, but really easy, fun reads which you appreciate after a while.
What’s Anne Gracie’s “The Stolen Princess” about Dulce? And Good Lord, I have read “Master” and pretty sure I did a review of it. It wasn’t as eep! as her take on Phantom, but it also wasn’t as fun to read as a result.
And MsMoonlight, please remember never to drink a hot beverage when reading my review of the book with the 2 penises (of which one was pokey and not in a good way). I wouldn’t want any harm to befall you!
Dulce said,
January 21, 2009 @ 7:35 am
Lola, the Stolen Princess has nothing to do with a kidnapped royal. The story is pretty tame so far and I have read more than half of the book. The hero is supposed to be tortured but he seems alright and is obsessed with the heroine’s lips. My God if I read one more time about his fixation with them I am going to jump from the balcony!!
I think you did a review for Gale’s Phantom book but not for the Master one. I have not read the Phantom book but this one is pretty damn hot. For the first time in a book I read a threesome involving all females. Then there was another threesome with the heroine, the Count, who was in disguise as Sinbad the Sailor and some Moor. I still need to read like 100 pages to finish the sucker. Now when I see the Jim Caviezel movie it shall never be the same.
La Lola said,
January 21, 2009 @ 10:13 pm
Heya Dulce: check this out: http://www.ripmybodice.com/2008/07/24/may-i-introduce-you-to-the-comte/ Funnily enough, I preferred the Phantom book to this only coz the Phantom book was so mouth-hanging-open out there!
Dulce said,
January 25, 2009 @ 6:40 am
Merci beucoup Lola! Now I remember having read the review, when it was first posted here. At the time I was a lurker and did not comment. Witty as usual. :))
La Lola said,
January 25, 2009 @ 1:27 pm
Good to know that you have permanently stepped out of the shadows of lurkerdom Dulce! Remain here in the sunlight, basking in the sunshine of our presence! (she says modestly)
La Lola said,
January 26, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
From Dulce: I feel like a vampire, who was only able to dwell in darkness but by some miracle can now step into the light!
La Lola said,
January 26, 2009 @ 2:41 pm
Amen Dulce!
LadyCurvyA.K.APHR said,
October 31, 2009 @ 4:00 am
LMAO!!! (can’t put it in words!!!!) … F.U.N.N.Y!!