I *heart* Maddox (not the Cambodian kid)
“The Darkest Night” by Gena Showalter
Found: a hot pink organizer filled with scribbling and marked in diamante “Property of La Lola— Read this and prepare to sleep with a dagger under your pillow for your own protection.”
Task item no. 1: Track down Rob Pattinson and demand to know why he cut his hair. Try to track down his hairdresser and offer to buy aforementioned hair as belated Christmas gift to self (maybe Sheridan can have a few strands too— am nothing if not generous). Have explained to Mimi that this is not considered disturbing behaviour, because it is not as if hair is still on Robert’s head. Have omitted to mention that attempts to contact Robert’s agent with the offer to buy him for $128.79 (all that is left after my Christmas shopping) have proved fruitless. Must try again in the new year.
Task item no. 2: Must buy air ticket to Budapest (first class, natch), to hunt down Maddox, Lord of the Underworld and Keeper of Violence. Shall ignore the fact that he is of the same name as one of Brood Jolie-Pitt (the kid with the spiky hair). In my mind, Maddox = Demon of Violence = Is that a dagger in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Am convinced that can turn him from the path of Ashlyn, because she’s a few quirks short of a personality. Price of a ticket to Budapest: $750. Landing a Lord of the Underworld who is obsessed with me and will tear anybody who thinks to hurt me limb from limb: Priceless.
Task item no. 3: Buy skimpy camouflage bra and panty set to wear when tracking down whereabouts of Demon Lords. Seems to be remarkably easy to infiltrate their top-secret lair, so shouldn’t be too difficult. (If all else fails, will hike up every hill in Budapest and exclaim very loudly that I am “Bait,” so that I will be taken in by the Demon Lords for “questioning.” Hubba hubba. Must try not to give away excitement at the prospect of long and hard “questioning.” Must try best to look anxious.
Task item no. 4: Maybe develop some kind of supernatural skill that will allow me to stumble up onto a hill and into the top-secret lair of the Lords of the Underworld. Don’t think I want Ashlyn’s skill of being able to hear the past conversations of people whenever she stands in a spot. Appears to be rather an awkward and semi-useless skill to have. Would much rather be able to blink my eyes and have new shoes appear. This would invariably save me a lot of money. Must mention this to Maddox, when I eventually get my ass to Budapest. Am sure that he will be thrilled at my thoughtfulness and willingness to save him money. Even though I know he will buy anything just to make me happy. (This includes that pair of hot pink Jimmy Choo sandals I saw the other day.) Will assure him that I accept the use of his body as payment in kind.
Task item no. 5: Overcome my distaste for blood. Gena Showalter seems to like to go into gory detail regarding her heroes’ physical torture. Maddox is stabbed to death every night by the Keeper of Pain, Reyes (my smoochie bear) and the Keeper of Death, Lucien (my cuddlebunkins), as part of his curse. Then he burns in the fires of hell and stays there overnight until he rises the next morning. Repeat cycle. Will try to pretend that it is alright to see my beloved getting stabbed 6 times in front of me everyday. Maddox seems to appreciate that Ashlyn stands by him and is always at his side no matter what he has to go through. I wish to point out to him that it is easy to be at his side because she is not the one being eviscerated. Hmm. Maybe he’d feel better if he had blueberry pancakes waiting for him every morning when he returns from hell. Well, it’d make me feel better at least. Shall try it out tomorrow. Must remember to save him a pancake or two.
Task item no. 6: Temporarily put aside my Redoxon. Because when a plague sweeps through Budapest and Ashlyn is hit and falls ill, Maddox is devastated. Clearly taking my effervescent vitamin C tablets everyday without fail has done me a great disservice, since I am freakishly impervious to the plague, and therefore cannot look forward to being wrapped in the arms of a Demon Lord. Damn you, hardy immune system!
Task item no. 7: Throw myself in harm’s way, and present myself as a threat to Maddox’s fellow Demon Lords, so that they will try to get rid of me, thereby inciting Maddox’s rage and possessiveness. Maybe I can convince them to play hide-and-seek with me, and then lie to Maddox that they are after me so that he will be driven to fury. Shall also strip naked, in order to reinforce the power of my message. Must not allow myself to actually get caught, lest it really be Game Over. After all, am very attached to my head, in more ways than one. Have no desire to have it detached from myself. But I find it incredibly sexy how Maddox is filled with rage at Aeron (Lord of Wrath), Reyes (Lord of Pain/ Smoochie bear) and Lucien (Lord of Death/ Cuddlebunkins) who threaten my well-being.
Task item no. 8: Do something incredibly self-sacrificial, in the hopes of saving Maddox from his curse of being shish-kebabed every night. And then, have Maddox break down over me, in despair and love. Sounds good! But must have a written guarantee that nothing will happen to me after my sacrifice, because there is no use in sacrificing myself for Maddox, if I die and some scheming hussy comes along and takes my place with Maddox, who is now available AND free of being stabbed every night. Why should they reap the fruits of my labour and get to go for midnight movies?
Task item no. 9: Stock up on more Kleenex. Have gone through an entire box, after reading Maddox’s reaction to Ashlyn’s sacrifice. Shall not spoil it for readers, but Maddox thinking he has lost Ashlyn forever + screams of despair + a demon lord weeping – anything really bad happening since it IS a romance novel after all = La Lola wearing a t-shirt which says “I *heart* demons”. Must also buy a bigger bed, so that there is more space for Maddox, Reyes, Lucien, Sabin, Aeron and I to romp around. Maybe will just forget the bed and line the floor with mattresses. That could also work.
Task item no. 10: Must remember not to wear “I *heart* demons” t-shirt to mass.
Julie Bo Boolie said,
January 3, 2009 @ 12:23 am
Ohhh I’m glad to hear it’s a good one. I got the trilogy for Christmas. Now I can’t wait to start it! (though I promised myself I’d read the Raven Prince, Serpent Prince and Other Prince one first).
cutepolishgirl68 said,
January 3, 2009 @ 12:33 am
What a great way to start the new year, and I hope this is indicative of the potential for many more alpha men that I want in my bed in the months to come!! Happy New Year!!!
La Lola said,
January 3, 2009 @ 10:25 am
I think you’ll like it Julie! Maddox is an uber hot demon lord, and he’s whetted my appetite for the main event— Rydstrom from Kresley Cole, who’ll be out this month! Yippee!
Happy New Year CPG! Totally in agreement with you about the alpha men! *clinks champagne glass* cheers to that!
Sayuri said,
January 4, 2009 @ 7:02 pm
Yay, another convert. But Reyes is mine. Just so you know!
Have you guys read the new Lara Adrian yet?
Julie Bo Boolie said,
January 5, 2009 @ 2:12 am
I must confess I’m obsessively checking for the release of Rydstrom’s story on a daily basis on Amazon LOL
Have you ladies ever considered a Facebook page where we could discuss a book of the week say and compare notes? I’d also love a rating system if possible.. like how racy on a scale of 1-5 just so I know which ones have back door loving and which don’t … I’m all for a little b&d but the BD stuff is more erotica than romance imho.
Just a thought or two…
La Lola said,
January 6, 2009 @ 1:58 pm
Sayuri, Reyes is yours, no problem! Perhaps we could timeshare him. I love Maddox though, he’s my main man! At least, in Gena Showalter’s world.
Hey Julie! Yup believe it or not, we HAVE considered a fb page, but it might be a little too much work and then where would we find the time to come up with our snarky reviews? The rating scale is interesting though, we’ll see what we can come up with!
Julie Bo Boolie said,
January 28, 2009 @ 10:23 am
Ok I’m reading it and it ROCKS! This is a great series! WOOHOO.. can’t wait to get to Reyes story.. sadly must go through Lucien first
Thanks for the review!!!
La Lola said,
January 28, 2009 @ 12:21 pm
Hey JBB, glad you liked the review! Lucien is pretty hot himself, just that Anya his mate is all kinds of annoying. But Reyes and Maddox are hands down my favourites!
Julie Bo Boolie said,
February 1, 2009 @ 10:38 am
Actually I liked Anya and was really disappointed with the 3rd book. I liked the story and the characters but the sex scenes were.. well.. boring. I mean c’mon! Here you have license to really get a little wild and instead going going with the favourites (bites, scratches, spanks make a good squeezing of the family jewels) you stab him in the shoulder? How is that hot? That’s so not hot.
Oh and I liked Maddox despite Ashlyn being well.. yawn. I forgive her (Gena) because she really had so much else to accomplish in the book.
La Lola said,
February 2, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
Maddox + La Lola = Happy (and potentially illegal) Times Foreva!
Shela said,
February 20, 2009 @ 2:49 pm
I’d like to take Torin! He’s just so oddly attractive to me.
Lola said,
February 20, 2009 @ 6:12 pm
Really? But he carries the plague!