Deck the halls with boughs of catnip, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (Part II)
“The Magical Christmas Cat” - Lora Leigh, Erin McCarty, Nalini Singh, and Linda Winstead Jones
Unlike the other stories in “The Magical Christmas Cat“, having a kitty cat of your very own in “Sweet Dreams” by Linda Winstead Jones is not a good thing (unless said kitty cat is a changeling or breed lover then I retract my earlier statement). In the third story of this christmas anthology, the cat in question is an innocuous jade cat statute that comes to life when the moon is full and sucks the soul out of women in order to attain corporeal form and reign on earth. If, like me, you think this sounds like a plot out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, high 5 b*tches!
Sadly if this were an episode out of BTVS, I would have found the story far more entertaining. The story features Ruby, a thirty something year old version of Nigella Lawson but without the rich husband, two kids and ability to cook anything other than sweet dessert treats, who lives in a charmingly quaint town in a charmingly quaint cul de sac. She’s at her neighbour’s christmas party wearing a horrendously tacky sweater ala Bridget Jones and is being accosted by her neighbour Professor Zane who goes all Mr Darcy on her, dissing her outfit. Ruby is convinced that the strange but handsome Zane hates her because he dislikes the ’Secret Santa’ gift she got him (being a box of her own biscuits)(though the man has got a point because that’s kinda cheap) but is soon distracted from her troubles with Zane when she discovers someone left a ”secret admirer” gift for her under the tree. After being challenged by her curious neighbours to open the gift, she discovers that the present is aforementioned little jade statute of a cat. Instantly Zane springs into action, commenting that it is utterly unique and that he would like nothing more than to take a closer look at it over night. Sadly this does not in any form, translate to Zane making a pass at Ruby, but that he wanted the cat to spend the night at his place.
Anyhow, that night, Ruby finds herself unable to sleep and having instead, bad dreams about a shadowy demon being let loose from the statutette and sucking out the souls of women and when she awakens, finds the statute on her bedside table, staring at her. Thinking Zane broke into her house to return the cat, she confronts him, confirming thus Zane’s deepest suspicions and fears; that Ruby is the next suckee to the sucker. I.e. that Ruby’s soul is the last the demon Il Colletore needs to break free of his jade palace. If you are wondering wherein in all this is the romance and passion, I am sadly here to inform you that there is none. Ruby and Zane have about as much passion as a soggy matchstick and bubble wrap. Though I suppose if used creatively, bubble wrap is kinda hot. Hmm. *Sheridan ponders at length*. I retract my statement about the bubble wrap. Long story short, there is no chemistry and though Zane goes through the whole “being upset that Ruby is going to die but can do nothing to save her bit” and we’re supposed to believe that he’s actually some very sexy demon hunter that is part of the Brotherhood, it all just falls a little flat. In the climatic scene when the demon breaks free and the Brotherhood rush in to try to kill it, it’s all rather amusing because they’re stabbing at this panther cat demon thing with all their tiny silver weapons as opposed to like, Buffy who decapitates vampires on a regular basis with cymbals. Now that’s hot. Though you know what’s really smokin’ hawwwwt?? Lora Leigh’s short story entitled “Christmas Heat”!
Christmas heat indeed! Noble’s a breed warrior who has been fighting his attraction (i.e. the “mating heat”) and destiny with the very human Haley and the scenes in which Noble describes the mating heat and the whole “I choose you” and panty smelling scenes in the book are incredibly hot. I mean, seriously. HOT. Trust me, it is not as weird and pervert like than it sounds (the panty smelling I mean). Maybe it’s one of those “you have to be there” moments. Or in this case, read the book. Fans of the Breed series would not be disappointed for sure because once again, Lora Leigh has created an alpha of epic proportions. Noble is broody, dangerous and single minded in his desire to chain Haley to him for the rest of his life nearly caused me to pass out. Seriously you guys, there were several moments when my knees felt kind of wobbly. Like when Noble told Haley that the reason why there were so many Breed warriors guarding her house (besides the fact that someone wanted her dead for witnessing something she shouldn’t have a few months’ back) was not because he was unable to protect her, but that they would be too consumed by the mating heat and having wild monkey animal sex that the world for them outside the house would cease to exist. And the whole part when Noble had thought that Haley had died in the bomb blast and he was prepared to kill all and everything and anything and bring upon the murderer a vengeance never before known was supremely hot. HOTT people. HOTT.
Out of the four stories in this anthology, “Christmas Heat” was the only one that had any genuine links to the spirit of Christmas (as opposed to the fact that it just so happened to be christmas when one meets a changeling warrior (cos it would really be christmas all the time when I find my changeling warrior), or a pink shirted lawyer who thinks black nail polish is sexy, or a demon fighting professor). I liked how Noble had to integrate himself with Haley’s family and brothers and really liked the interaction between them and how Noble was dragged off to church. It’s all kinda sweet and you end off with this warm fuzzy glow because Noble and Haley are good for each other. As opposed to you know, Zach and Annie because Zach is mine. MINEMINEMINE!
Ana said,
December 5, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
I was completely HORRIFIED when I read Lora Leigh’s story. At first it had all the workings of a fantastic/hot read with Noble being all possessive and then there is that convo about how a thingy comes out of his penis and connects to the heroine’s vajayjay and I was like “WTF?! ew, noooooooooooo, get away dude, run dudete, as fast as you can!”
LOL.
Nope.
ew.
Sayuri said,
December 5, 2008 @ 10:04 pm
OMG! Speaking of anthologies. I just finished J.R Ward’s contribution to the Dead After Dark anthology! AWESOMNESS! She is back to her freakin’ hot manly man old self. Story of Son was worth the price of the book all on it’s own. Reading Sherrilyn Kenyons right now and enjoying that also!
Sheridan READ IT!
But Michael is MINE! Totally bags him!
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
December 6, 2008 @ 8:57 am
Ana - In truth I blocked out the part where he spoke of his penis’ claw and all that. Plus, it sounded an awful lot like Emma Holly’s “Prince of Ice”. Such things are always less scary hearing it the second time around.
Sayuri - I WILL! In fact, I’ll be running to my nearest Borders asap! On a side note, I am reluctantly impressed by your quick pre-bagging. DARNIT!
Sayuri said,
December 7, 2008 @ 7:17 pm
Sherry, honey, we’re just Hero Ho’s. *g*