“The Beast In Him” by Shelly Laurenston
All right Santa, just tell me the truth. Was I really that bad? I mean, Mimi and Sheridan were also in on the idea of dressing up Juan and Sven as reindeer complete with teeny red boxers and antlers. Teeny red boxers are Christmassy aren’t they? I can assure you, the moms in our neighbourhood were very grateful to us for trotting Juan and Sven and their yule logs out and about. (The dads, not so much.) It was totally a Christmas miracle! So why did you have to go and leave a lump of coal in my stocking in the form of “The Beast In Him”?
Read the rest of this entry »

“Dead after Dark” - Sherrilyn Kenyon, JR Ward, Susan Squires and Dianna Love

Besides the story of a love starved chained up dormant sex god of a vampire, the “Dead after Dark” anthology also tells the story of an angry wolf who should really have drowned his mate in a bathtub as opposed to sacrificing his life for her, an angry stable boy denied the love of his master’s daughter now turned vampire lover, and a sexy Belador warrior whose mission in life is to protect the world from weird Hindu mystical demons. Having finally read all four stories in the book and coming to a fair decision by way of objective and carefully researched out criteria (I flipped a coin), I declare JR Ward’s short story the best in this anthology. Dear Ms. Ward, if you are reading this, you made me sad with Phury’s book but now, now I am filled with hope and will be looking forward to Rehvenge’s book like a hungry bear just out of hibernation and Rehv is a piece of rump steak coated in honey. Except then I found out about the incest thing and the whole urban fantasy less romance direction that you are now embarking on. Seriously JR. Just because you still think it is Romance doesn’t make it so. Trust me. I know this very well. Love, Sheridan.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Delicious” by Sherry Thomas
If you’re like me and you love Cinderella stories, then “Delicious” is for you. But it’s a twisty, darker version of Cinderella. Think dark bitter Valrhona chocolate rather than fluffy meringue. I’m finding it really hard to believe that this is Sherry Thomas’s second book, because it’s absolutely fabulous! The first 2 pages were divine, the first quarter then slowed down a bit and the only thing that kept me going were the descriptions of the food, then the last three-quarters sped up and became one of the best things I’ve read this year. I spent half the night crying, the other half laughing, and I was starving the entire time. (Trotting down to the RMB fridge, I found to my everlasting sadness, a bottle of Mimi’s La Mer face cream and a grape.)
Read the rest of this entry »

To spread the Christmas cheer, the RipMyBodice girls have taken it upon themselves to do a spot of carolling around their neighbourhood. With Juan and Sven in tow (both appropriate dressed with reindeer antlers, red painted noses and one large christmas sock each), the girls and their spiked eggnog now bring to you, their favourite christmas carol of all time: The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Read the rest of this entry »

“A Wallflower Christmas” by Lisa Kleypas
With $17, you could buy yourself 2 bottles of OPI “Bastille my heart” red. Or 3 Guacamole Bacon burgers from Carl’s Jr. Or, you could pick up a hardcover copy of “A Wallflower Christmas” by Lisa Kleypas. Is it worth $17? Well, it really depends on how much you want to pay to get into the Christmas spirit.
Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Santa,

As you already know, I have been a very good girl this year. I have (largely) refrained from making as many snarky comments as I would normally have (thinking it doesn’t count though right??), and have tried to use my time as wisely as possible to the benefit of others. Why, just the other day I removed a piece of lint that found its way to the back of Lola’s black tweed Chanel jacket. I have been nothing but a paragon of good deeds and virtuous behaviour (largely because you have yet to send to me an Alpha Male of my own but let us not point fingers during this time of Jesus’s birth). Let us forgive, forget, and hug it out. Please find enclosed therefore a $10 bill (to sweeten the deal), my secret cookie recipe for triple chocolate cookies (please send my regards to the Missus!) and my list of things that I expect to find under my tree come Christmas morning.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Simply Sexual” by Kate Pearce
So after Sheridan’s little foray into erotica with Jaid Black, we had people emailing us e-books and suggestions of erotica that they thought would float our boat. (For MR ALBERT FANGOULI (if that is indeed your real name sir), your invitation was most unwelcome.) As Sheridan had an unfortunate incident the other day involving her 7-foot high TBR pile, a distracted Mimi chasing after Coco the French Bulldog and Sheridan ultimately being wedged under a pile of books with only her booties sticking out a la the Wicked Witch of the West, it has fallen to Lola, connoisseur of all things kinky, to read some of the offerings which have come our way.
Read the rest of this entry »

“No Mercy” by Jaid Black

Hmm. So. I found myself reading the second book to the Trek Mi’ Quan yesterday and…hmm. Surprisingly I did not find it as shocking and “WTH?!?!?!” as I did with “The Empress’ New Clothes” and I do believe that is because I have gotten used to the alien world outside our tame planet earth. Or at least, I’d like to think that. Although I’m not sure what that says about me. Because though I did flinch a little at Giselle’s actual birthing of an egg (for whatever reason her labor seemed a lot more painful than Kyra’s and a helluva lot more descriptive. Thanks Jaid. Thanks.), I find myself actually contemplating the hatchy hatchy world that Jaid Black has created. This to me is a significant breakthrough because where before I was like “OH. MY. GOD.”, it is now more of a “OH. MY. GOD. Hmmm.” Well, sort of. So let us again, you and I, hop on our intergalatic spaceships and travel to a world where things don’t quite make sense and you experience unbelievable sights, indescribable feelings, soaring, tumbling freewheeling, through an endless (purple) diamond sky.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Untamed” by Pamela Clare
Bonjour mes petites éclairs! Eeet eez I, La Lola! I cannot beegeen to tell you, ‘ow I wish that I was Amalie Chauvenet, la petite ingenue and gently-reared French convent virgeen. Ah sadly, eet eez not to be, because that ship has sailed many moons ago, and been captured by Somali pirates and sunken. But ah, eef I were ‘er, I would be pursued by a very fine specimen of the man. Not just any man. Morgan MacKinnon, leader of zee MacKinnon Rangers, a Scottish band of warriors ‘oo are fighting some war.
Read the rest of this entry »

“To the Edge” by Cindy Gerard (Bodyguard Series, Book I)

So the tagline on Cindy Gerard’s website for her Bodyguard Series is “they will not only guard your body, they’ll steal your heart and fulfill your deepest desires.” YOWZA! I’ve never had the greater urge to directly put myself in harm’s way than after reading “To the Edge”. Nolan Garrett, my love, you are a rump steak I would love to tenderly massage and then gnaw until the end of time. Come and protect *my* body (preferably) with your naked one! *Sheridan’s eyes glaze over*  Initially I had wanted to render a musical tribute to the bodyguard series by serving up the ultimate theme song “I Will Always Love You” but attempts to hit Whitney Houston’s warbling high notes in preparation for this review have, I suspect, resulted in much anger in the ripmybodice offices. For example, this morning, I arrived at work to a bunch of rotten tomatoes strung across my door and a post-it note on my laptop saying “STOP SCREECHING LIKE A DYING CHICKEN SHERIDAN SAKURA CARLOTTA! - From, everybody within a 5 mile-radius of your office”. Well really. People really don’t give me enough musical credit.

Read the rest of this entry »