All I ask of you
“The Phantom’s Opera” by Sadie Montgomery
Lola rustled her bodice, adjusting it so that it modestly clung to her navel. “OK Juan, you stand here.” She fixed the white half mask to Juan’s face and tenderly arranged the black cape to flow delicately over his body, clad in black boxers with little Phantom masks printed on them.
“Sorry I couldn’t pick you for this Sven, but you’re blonde and well, Phantom HAS to have dark hair.” Lola murmured apologetically to Sven, bending down to adjust the folds of Juan’s cape, missing the look of intense relief which crossed Sven’s Nordic face, and the flapping of his arms in a chicken dance as he flapped them smugly at an enraged and put-upon Juan.
“Ahem.. Ahem.. OK Juan baby, you just stand there. No need to sing because I’ve gotten a voice artiste to record Erik/Phantom’s part. I’ve heard you belt out “Juan Tanamara” before and it’s not pretty. Just stand there and flap your cape around a bit.” She points to her left. Lola gestured at Sven, who was holding onto the boombox. “Maestro, if you please.”
To be sung to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Phantom of the Opera”
La Lola:
In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
O Erik, obsessed am I
(Though Sheri claims it lame)
But how can I help myself
For now I find
The phantom of the opera is there,
He blows my mind
Phantom:
Alas I don’t belong
To such as you
My heart is claimed by Meg
My love remains true
But then in a fire set
I’m badly hurt
The phantom of the opera is lost,
I’ve lost my mind
La Lola:
Then you forgot fair Meg
And your children
You left with that whore-bitch
Phantom:
Oh, confusion!
Both:
Lucianna stole you away
God I hate her so!
Es-pe-cially when I really know that she
Is such a ho!
Chorus:
He’s hot, the phantom of the opera
He’s got a great ass, the phantom of the opera
Phantom:
But then I saw Meg again, was drawn to her
Her beauty’s a mystery
La Lola:
That called to you
Phantom:
And woo her again I did
For love is blind
But how I really hate that Lucianna bitch
La Lola:
Who f—ed your mind!
Phantom:
But I return to my beloved!
La Lola:
Touch me there,
the Phantom of the Opera . .
“How was it guys? Do you think it adequately captured the pathos and angst of the book? Because I was SO frustrated when Erik lost his memory and that sucka sucka bitch whore Lucianna fooled him into believing that he was married to HER. Unacceptable! But oh, the scenes after Erik had seen Meg, and felt that she was so familiar to him and that she was his inspiration? And how he finally came to realise after THREE books that she was the only one for him, and that Christine was nothing more than a skinny plank who didn’t attract him at all. Dammit! Sheridan and Mimi have been telling me that we should tighten our belts and cut down on household expenses. Which means I have to stop using up 2 boxes of Kleenex everytime I read a Phantom book!” Lola pouts. “Encore anybody?”
Phantom Inkheart said,
October 22, 2008 @ 4:04 am
I. Love. This. Post. I can’t wait to get my hands on these books!
La Lola said,
October 22, 2008 @ 9:08 am
Any success in the hunt for these books Phantom Inkheart? Because really, you are in for a helluva cry! I envy you.
Phantom Inkheart said,
October 23, 2008 @ 4:11 am
I shall get them at Christmas time.
& I can barely wait! I love good-cry stories - especially Erik related. Have you read “Deception: A Phantom of the Opera Novel” by Shirley Yoshinaka? That is my favorite one.
La Lola said,
October 23, 2008 @ 5:15 pm
No I haven’t! What’s it about? Although after having read the Phantom series, I now see Erik together with Meg only! I’d be pretty puzzled to see him back with Christine…
Phantom Inkheart said,
October 24, 2008 @ 1:17 am
Well it’s a pretty easy read, and there is no Christine, she’s in his thoughts at times (blech), but he does not get paired off with her, in fact none of the other characters are in it, and I love how the author pulled it off with her own good characters. Though I am with you on the Meg factor, I have always wanted to see her and Erik together and now someone has finally done it, which of course is freakin’ great! :p Basically it takes place in England - where he has fled, and he soon meets Melodie a fellow composer, and they strike up a bargain to work together. It’s on the happily-ever-after side of things, but not over-bearingly so, to me at least!
La Lola said,
October 24, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
I never thought of Meg and Erik together, to be honest. But now I can’t imagine anyone else! I must admit I had my doubts and again, I totally picture myself as Meg instead of the actress who played her in the movie. Me, Gerard, making the music of the night. Sheer bliss.
Phantom Inkheart said,
October 27, 2008 @ 2:02 am
Hehe. What female phantom fan hasn’t pictured herself with the Gerard-Phantom? It’s my favorite passtime.