Just lion here, thinking of you
“Untamed” by Nora Roberts
“Ahhh…” Lola sank into the raspberry-scented bubbles. “Nothing beats soaking in my bubble bath at the end of a very long day testing out Juan’s newest coconut-banana massage. Nearly made some off-colour jokes about coconuts and bananas, but refrained lest I hurt his feelings. Shall read “Untamed” since I have been meaning to get to it for a while. Short, category romance. Shouldn’t be too wrinkly by the time I finish.”
After 0.02 seconds: *Lola sits up straight, sloshing bubbles all around.* What the-?!! “At the crack of the whip, twelve lions stood on their haunches and pawed the air.”
She hastily flipped to the blurb and read, “Jovilette Wilder had the heart of a lion and the temper of a wildcat. And when Keane Prescott first crossed her path, she had her claws bared. Jo was certain her beguiling new boss imperilled everything she cared for, but she couldn’t deny the overpowering attraction that sizzled between them.” Oh my God, she’s a lion-tamer! But how could I have known?! When they said she had the temper of a wildcat, I just thought she was spunky! I was expecting that she’d be a business woman or something. Nothing even hinted that she makes her living training Simba to jump hoops! Not that it wouldn’t be interesting to read about a lion-tamer but still, a little warning would have been nice!
After 5 seconds: *Lola flipped back to the front cover.* There’s a hat on it. A hat perched on the back of a chair. Nothing that would give rise to suspicions of the potential Siegfried and Roy (but with lions, not tigers) thing going on here. I mean, the least they could have done was put something on it, like I don’t know, a LION. God, hope this doesn’t mean the hero is a circus owner! Or the strong man with a handlebar moustache. Maybe they’ve got some sort of work-place rivalry thingey and he trains the elephants. Dammit! Elephant trainers are so not alpha!
After 6 minutes: Thank God. He’s a lawyer. A lawyer whose late father owned the circus, and now he wants to sell it off. Lion Girl has been assigned to show him around, but hates his city-bred, Chicago guts.
After 8 minutes: Lion Girl’s best friend is introduced. Her best friend is Topo the Clown. *Lola has to put the book down because she has choked on bubbles.*
After 8.5 minutes: Jovilette’s stage name is “Queen of the Jungle Cats.” *Lola chokes on more bubbles.* Wonder if bubbles are toxic. Hope not!
After 12 minutes: Lola’s air passage is finally clear and raspberry-bubble free.
After 15 minutes: Jungle Girl and Hotshot Lawyer are arguing because she resents him for taking over the circus. Sexual tension strong. Suspect that Hotshot Lawyer is turned on by Jungle Girl’s whip. Jungle Girl introduces Hotshot Lawyer to the lions. All twelve of them. Imagining the scene from Lion King where the baboon is standing on the edge of the cliff holding baby Simba aloft. Am picturing Jungle Girl doing that. *Lola giggles madly*
After 20 minutes: Jungle Girl and Hotshot Lawyer kiss passionately.
After 22 minutes: Jungle Girl and Hotshot Lawyer are arguing because she is frightened of her passionate response to him. Bubbles are popping. Must replenish. Hotshot Lawyer is going back to Chicago to “take care of business.” Idly wondering if this means staging a hostile takeover of the Ringling brothers.
After 30 minutes: Jungle Girl is pining for Hotshot Lawyer, but he’s back from the windy city! She pretends that she didn’t notice his absence. He’s not buying it. Am thinking that my toes look a little pruney. Wriggle them around gingerly. Now Hotshot Lawyer is angry with Jungle Girl, because he thinks she takes unnecessary risks. She disagrees. Can’t see why he would think her job is a dangerous one. She only gets into a metal cage with 12 lions. Way more hazardous being a salesgirl at Bergdorf Goodman’s during sales, especially when Lola, Sheridan and Mimi are on the rampage.
After 42 minutes: Jungle Girl realises she’s in love with Hotshot Lawyer, but worried that she has nothing to offer him. She comes with a dowry of 12 lions, surely that’s more than enough! They share a passionate encounter, but Jungle Girl is wounded when he leaves before anything is consummated. She suspects that he does not desire her. Lola rolls her eyes, because girl, he has seen you dangle upside down from a bar while performing acrobatics. Trust me, he likes what he sees.
After 48 minutes: Tragedy nearly strikes! Jungle Girl is wounded (for real this time) and has her arm slashed by one of the 12 not-so-cuddly lions! Best part of the book, when Hotshot Lawyer carries her out of the cage in fear. Things are looking up!
After 49.19 minutes: Jungle Girl and Hotshot Lawyer are arguing AGAIN. Because he thinks that she takes unnecessary chances and refuses to let her go back in the cage. She screams that he’s not the boss of her. Lola wants to point out that actually, he kinda is. Hotshot Lawyer doesn’t want to live with his fear, and so moves back to Chicago. Jungle Girl is heart-broken, plus cranky coz her arm hurts like a sonofabitch. As would I be, had my arm been slashed open by the king of the beasts.
After 57 minutes: She risks the urban jungle, and goes in search of her love. She professes her love, and claims that she is willing to leave the circus and begin a new life with him. Lola is most offended. The book was unusual, but it wasn’t bad. And having spent the past hour reading in the bath and now so pruney I resemble my great-aunt Gertrude who celebrated her 102nd birthday (God bless the wrinkled old thing), she has cast off her career and chosen love over lions (Jovilette, not great-aunt Gertrude.) What about the poor lions? Do they move to Chicago? Do they go to lion camp? I fear we shall never know.
Gwizz said,
August 26, 2008 @ 1:31 am
Oh dear - It doesn’t sound like a compelling read, although at least you are cleaner for it!
mallory said,
August 26, 2008 @ 5:49 am
LOL! Great review!
Sounds like there is alot of arguing going on in this one.
One question….is there a clown car?…cause I really like clown cars.
Dulce said,
August 26, 2008 @ 7:32 am
LMAO! I am terrified of clowns so I won’t go near this one. At least the chick’s arm wasn’t mauled off. Maybe if that happened it would have made the story more intriguing. The hot shot lawyer would have stuck with her doing rehab and when she got a prosthetic showing his love for her. Were there any acrobatic siamese twins on the premise?
La Lola said,
August 26, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
Cleanliness is next to godliness, Gwizz, as my mama likes to say. There’s nothing better than being squeaky clean right before you get into someone, oops, I mean something dirty.
Nah, not that much arguing. Just on maybe, alternate pages or so.. You like clown cars? As in, the ones where all the clowns come pounding out one after the other? *shudder*
Hola mallory, long time no see!
And Dulce, I’m with you on the scary clown bit. Watched It when I was small and there’s really no turning back from that baby. And this was not helped by that episode of Supernatural I watched with the killer clowns. I don’t think Jungle Girl got mauled too badly. It was barely a scratch! (But then again, I have never been attacked by a lion.)
cutepolishgirl68 said,
August 26, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
It’s a wonder to me as I browse through the book store that Nora Roberts has an entire four foot section entirely to her self! I may have read one of hers in the past that appealled to me (nothing that actually sparks a memory), but anytime I read a back cover just to see if I should read one of her 74,000 books, I put in back with a grimace. She may be the most prolific romance writer, but that doesn’t mean she’s good. Or maybe it’s because my Mom reads her (btw- My Mom used to be a nun -so not kidding- and she mysteriously always has dishes to wash when we are watching tv -ever since I was a kid- and a kissing/sex scene comes on the tv) and I think Roberts is way too mild. I mean after Lisa Marie Rice, Shannon McKenna, Sarah McCarty a scene that fades to black too soon just doesn’t do it for me. Or worse yet- a scene that is so mild or poorly written that it should have faded to black!! Anyway that’s my opinion on that…. so girls has anyone read Acheron from Sherrilyn Kenyon. You guys do not discuss the dark-hunters and didn’t know if you read them- surprisingly he too was a sex slave(like my boy Z)! Several tears shed by me in this reading.
Dulce said,
August 27, 2008 @ 7:14 am
Yeah CutePolishGirl68, I agree about NR having like four shelves of her books in the romance section of stores. Well God bless her for being able to come up with so many storylines. The first book I read of hers was “Sweet Revenge”, which remains one of my all time favorite books. I also read her Dream trilogy and Midnight Bayou, which aren’t bad.
La Lola said,
August 27, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
I generally prefer JD Robb to NR. The In Death series is gritty and interesting and if Roarke is a bit too perfect to be true, hey it’s fantasy. Thanks for the rec CPG. The thing is that Sherrilyn Kenyon has major series mania going on, so I don’t know whether it’ll be easy for me to pick up a book that’s halfway through the series.
cutepolishgirl68 said,
August 28, 2008 @ 5:15 am
Yeah- I started at Fantasy Lover years ago and have worked my way forward- of course some books are stronger than others. If you want just a couple of titles- I liked Night Embrace, Dance with the Devil, and Night Play. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
La Lola said,
August 28, 2008 @ 12:08 pm
I’ve read Fantasy Lover I think. That’s the one with Julian right?
Lady L said,
August 28, 2008 @ 11:36 pm
I think I’m gonna read this one it sounds like Kiss an Angel only with the whip in the heroines hand.
On another topic but I had to ask, has anyone read Gennita Low’s “Into Danger”????? I’m loving her sooooooooooooo hot scenes, and heroines without TSTL moments at least in the one book I’ve read of her.
La Lola said,
August 29, 2008 @ 9:04 am
Sadly Lady L, don’t get your hopes up. Nothing comes close to rivalling the circusal magnificence of KAA. Ooh, what’s “Into Danger” about?
Lady L said,
September 7, 2008 @ 7:09 am
I had “missplaced” this comment of mine.
Into Danger is about this alpha heroine who is supposed to be a mercenary (won’t say anymore to not give away the plot), the hero is a SEAL (also alpha) who is in some intelligence thingy and is asigned to try to get her before she kills anyone else, then he makes his way into her bussiness and they get into this cute/verrry hot relationship with very innovative sexy scenes that include props such as pearl necklace.