O Romance Gods hear our cries! Damn those spambots, make them die!
The RMB girls gather around their large crystal punch bowl filled to the brim with all the different flavours of Absolut vodka, in their Vic’s Secret PINK PJs, chanting:
“Double double toil and trouble,
Spam bots make our blood bubble.
Round about the punch bowl go
In the pink bath bombs throw.
Scale of fish, an old wisdom tooth
An out of season shoe, and a piece of an old booth.
O Romance Gods hear our cries
And of these spam bots whom we deeply despise.
Throw them into a pit so deep
That into our website, their comments no longer creep.
We don’t want no manhood enlargers
Or videos of twin Asian sisters,
Nor do we wish to see any celebrities naked
(Unless they are male celebrities and are wrapped in bacon).
“Why bacon?” whispered Mimi to Lola under her hood
“Don’t ask Mi, it’s better that way” came the response, while into the bowl goes an old piece of wood.
A bit of bat’s blood and a dead honey bee
And more from the macabre collection of Mimi.
Sheri cringes and lifts some mouldy ham,
What better way to get rid of spam.
Keep your links to interracial liaisons and midget sex
And websites featuring a hard-core video of the Mets
(“Ooh maybe if we just took one little peek!”
“Lola you idiot, do you know what you speak?”).
As we tirelessly sit at our golden desks
Deleting the spam posts of these rotten pests
We might accidentally lose some of the comments,
Of our beloved readers, who are the best of the best.
Into the bowl this bottle of rum we fling,
Hoping our readers’ forgiveness it brings.
Extremely exhausted from all this rhyming,
We glance up at the clock as it starts chiming,
“12 noon already?!” Sheri exclaims in disbelief.
“It’s time to bring out the marinated beef!”
And so, as the girls barbeque away their anger,
Thinking of which hero they want to bang her,
Please excuse us if your comments are missing,
Pray, at us do not be hissing
Keep on coming with those comments and suggestions and words of praise
Which never fail to make our day(s)
We promise, pinky swear we’ll fix the problem
If not, looks like we’ll have to move to Belgium.”
Sayuri said,
August 15, 2008 @ 2:03 am
Think of it this way, spammers and spam bots only notice you if you have a high traffic. You must be wayyyy popular!
Alice said,
August 15, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
LOL, what Sayuri said makes a lot of sense, so don’t feel too bad. ^_^