“Sullivan’s Woman” by Nora Roberts
“Tell me again why I’m doing this,” whined Sheridan, perched on a bar stool.

“Don’t move Sheri!” barked Lola, sketching away furiously on a drawing pad. “I told you, I just finished “Sullivan’s Woman” by Nora Roberts and it featured an artist as the hero. So I’ve been moved by the artistic spirit!”

“Ooh, an artist hero…. That’s interesting! But, is he like a struggling artist or something? My idea of romance doesn’t involve freezing in a turret somewhere you know. Poverty is only interesting when you don’t have to go through it yourself,” mused Sheridan thoughtfully.

“Rest assured, he is a very wealthy artist. The sort who owns a famous art gallery and whose works are highly sought after, so he only paints for his own amusement. Colin Sullivan is a hot-blooded Irishman who sees Cassidy St. John wandering around in the fog in San Francisco. He thinks that she’s his muse, and asks her to sit for him. And she agrees, because she’s a struggling writer and he’s going to pay her well. Hold still dammit!” shrieked Lola.

“But I had a wedgie!” complained Sheridan. “It’s not easy sitting here for 2 hours you know. The portrait you’re doing of me had better be good. So anyway, I’m guessing Colin is a temperamental artistic sort?”

“Of course. He’s also a renowned playboy, who’s famous for dating his models and other assorted socialites. So Cassidy is afraid that she’ll get her heart broken and tries to keep her distance. But Colin is irresistible really, charming when he wants to be and broody at other times. I don’t know if I’d like to marry an artist though. Colin always seems very wrapped up in his work and I guess I’d like a hero to focus on me 24/7. I mean, when he goes off into his own world of creative genius, who’s going to be taking care of MY needs?”

“True,” agreed Sheridan. “So what happened next? Was there some nefarious art thief out to steal Colin’s paintings? Did Colin do a nude painting which is then being used to blackmail the President? Were there any Da Vinci Code-esque moments going on? Was the location to the Holy Grail painted in by Colin?”

“Nope, this was a pretty straightforward category romance. Boy meets girl. Boy is a famous artist and girl is a struggling writer. Boy and girl argue and smoulder. It was a bit predictable, but yet, an easy way to spend an hour or so of your time.”

“What?? You took an HOUR to read the book? But I’ve been sitting here for the past TWO hours! Can’t you paint any faster?” demanded Sheridan, in outrage.

“You can’t rush genius,” snapped Lola. “Anyway, it was an hour pretty well spent. Because Colin has to grovel a bit when he and Cassidy get into a huge fight. You know what a sucker I am for grovel in its many forms. Even a baby grovel is better than nothing!”

“True. I haven’t read a good grovel for a while,” said Sheridan sadly, about to shake her head but stopping when Lola shot her a bionic warning glare.

“I think the grovel is a dying art form,” concurred Lola. “Too seldom done for my liking I must say. Back in the day, writers knew how to do a REAL grovel.”

“If you say so, Grandpa Joe. Really Lola, where do you think you are, Petticoat Junction?” replied Sheridan witheringly. “Are you about done yet? Because I’m supposed to accompany Mimi to the vet, to check on her pet dog Romeo. You’ll never guess what I saw Mimi doing, fondling around in Romeo’s fur! I about had the shock of my life, before she told me that she was searching for his undescended ball.”

“Errr… ok. So many things I didn’t want to know. Anyway, I’m done! Take a look!” and Lola proudly whipped her drawing pad around so that Sheridan could see it.

“You drew me as a stick figure!!!” shrieked Sheridan, outraged at the wasted hours. She hopped off the bar stool and massaged her butt while staring in stupefaction at the drawing pad.

“But it’s a very good likeness! A very accurate stick figural portrayal of you!” protested Lola.

“You gave me three strands of hair!”