Like a virgin, touched for the very first time
“Dark Needs at Night’s Edge” by Kresley Cole
So as Sheridan and I rushed into the book shop of Thin Pale Scary Lady, miu miu and Chanel bags flopping at our sides frantically, she shot us The Look and silently handed us copies of “Dark Needs at Night’s Edge.” I think there was a certain amount of relief on her part as the books were handed over, but I’m pretty sure I was imagining it. Anyway, we shot over our shoulders as we raced out the door, “We’ll be back for Kresley Cole’s new book, it’s out next month!” How relieved she must be at the thought that she’ll be seeing us again so soon! I could swear, tears of happiness filled her eyes!
Having read “DNNE,” there is good news and bad news. The bad news is, if you haven’t read any of the Immortals After Dark series yet (been hiding in a cave in Afghanistan have you?) your chances of following what’s happening in this book are like a Krispy Kreme’s chances of surviving in a Jenny Craig meeting. The good news is, I don’t care, because Lola has read the IAD series, and so I have absolutely no issues of following the delightful pursuits of Neomi and Conrad (oooh baby, Conrad! Come to Mama!).
Neomi was a famous ballerina from the 20s, whose spirit is haunting Elancourt, her manor in New Orleans. She was murdered by her ex-fiance, and her spirit can’t move on. But Neomi is a peaceful spirit, more a sexy Casper than a crazed poltergeist. All she wants to do is talk to people because she’s lonely, and she hasn’t spoken to anyone in decades because no one can see or hear her.
Enter Conrad Wroth, the fighter and assassin vampire of the Wroth brothers. Conrad’s a bit ticky in the head because of all the insane memories he’s assumed from all the creatures he’s killed. And so his brothers (Hello you divine Nikolai! Yoo hoo sexy Murdoch! Oh. It’s you Sebastian.) stage a vampiric intervention to cure him of his addiction to feeding. All minders of Lindsay Lohan, pay attention, this is how you do it. They bundle him off to Elancourt, where Neomi is thrilled to find that finally someone can see and hear her.
I must say, I had my doubts. Sheridan and I have spent many worried lunches over the past few weeks, gnawing on Tony Roma’s Blue Smoky Mountain ribs and discussing what sort of hero Conrad would be. Because Conrad is that most fearsome of heroes. The Virgin Hero. The Virgin Vampire Hero. This week’s episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter V.
Seldom seen and heard of between the pages of romantic fiction (for good reason), the Virgin Hero (Latin name: Virginus Heroiex aka Johnny Come Quickly) is characterised by his usually tragic past (trapped on a mountain for several decades, where his only companions were Bambi and Thumper and let’s just say everytime Thumper thumped his foot, the Virginus Heroiex found himself unnaturally excited). In Conrad’s case, he had taken some vow of celibacy when he was 13 and had been indicted into some assassin sect. As he put it, when he realised what that meant, it was too late. And now that Conrad wants to divest himself from his V-burden, he can’t because as a non-blooded vampire, he has no capacity at all! His sausage has no filling, his pepper grinder has no pepper, his pinata ain’t got no sweets! Truly tragic! And only when he is blooded and meets his bride, will he then come to life in all ways. All the ways that count, anyway.
When Conrad and Neomi finally meet, they become friends of a sort, each fascinated by each other. Conrad is full of all these desires to protect and cherish her, and Neomi is no longer so lonely. And Conrad is sooo jealous and macho and broody, he lunges at his brothers when they enter the bathroom and Neomi is undressed (even though they can’t even see Neomi, her being invisible and all). But it’s the thought that counts! And as a sign of his love and caring, Conrad volunteers to go and desecrate the grave of Neomi’s murderer. Awww… what a sweetie. Which other man would do that for you?!
So ok, spoilers abound from here on out people, so avert your tender glances if you don’t want to know! Conrad decides the only way for him and Neomi to be together is if he escapes from the chains that bind him, and he can find some way of turning Neomi human again. So he chops off his hand with an axe. Seriously, what guy would undergo a “Saw” moment for you, as testament to his love? And just as he’s about to chop off the other one, Neomi comes and mentions that oopsie, she’s had the key to his chains all along and was going to tell him. You know if I were Conrad, and having chopped off my hand with an axe and all, I’d been a little bit pissed too. I mean yeah, his hand will regenerate because he’s an immortal, but I can think of more fun things to do than cut off appendages. Like maybe walking on glass. Yeah, that’s loads of fun.
But all is eventually forgiven and when Conrad and Neomi finally get it on? Whoo boy. Yup, there are some teething problems from V-boy, like not managing to get the rabbit into the hole in time, but the guy hasn’t had it for 300 years. Makes Hunter from “Unlawful Contact” and his 6 years in the pokey look like a drop in the celibacy well. And Conrad finally having found his Bride, traces to Paris to get her a croissant for breakfast, and comes back with bags and bags of clothes and shoes from Harrod’s. Argh!!!! Calling all virgin vampires! Calling all virgin vampires! La Lola is here and lying in wait! Make haste! I meant all MALE virgin vampires. Get lost, the rest of you!
And when Conrad comes close to losing Neomi, as she’s stabbed by his enemies? His anguish as he cradles her in his arms and pleads with her, “Stay with me Neomi. Please baby.” *whimper* La Lola is now reaching for her very own V friend— that ever reliable bottle of Vodka. You have never once let me down in my hour of need Absolut! And once again, I will have to call on your restorative powers to keep me going, as I lie here in a whimpering ball on the ground, howling out for my own vampire hero. Another month more to the next Kresley Cole. I think I’d better stock up.
Ana said,
May 3, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
Yay!!! You got it!! I am so envious of you girls right now. I live in the UK and have to wait three weeks for my book to be shipped from the US. Why, WHY????
Great review, cant wait to read it.
La Lola said,
May 3, 2008 @ 8:50 pm
Hey Ana, Conrad was GOOD. Not as good as Bowen good (Bowen I *heart* you!) But loads better than Sebastian Wroth, that pansy ass with no right to call himself a vampire.
mallory said,
May 3, 2008 @ 11:36 pm
Great review! I loved this book! I haven’t read the whole series, just Wicked Deeds and this one. I really need to go and get the other books!
The Valkyries fighting on the lawn cracked me up, and I liked Mari much better in this book than in Wicked.
Do you think Nix and Mike Rowe have a chance? LOL.
I can’t wait for Cade’s story next. Mmmmm….rage demon hottiness.
Dulce said,
May 4, 2008 @ 12:58 am
Please don’t lynch me because I have to admit to never reading a KC book before.
This review has whetted my appetite and I might order some soon. So what happened to the viirgin vampire dude after chopping off his hand? Did he get a prosthetic, did it grow back with his quick healing vampire abilities or does he sport a chic hook? 
Marisela said,
May 4, 2008 @ 2:34 am
guys i did not like the second one so i have not read the last two i will try again
La Lola said,
May 4, 2008 @ 10:05 am
Oh man mallory, you have no idea what’s in store for you with “Hunger Like No Other,” although I believe I speak for Sheridan when I say that she’s going to go Mean Girls on anyone who tries to claim Lachlain. “No Rest for the Wicked” (the 2nd book with Sebastian the Puny Wroth) isn’t great though, so be prepared!
And Dulce, better late than never! Let us know what you think? Conrad has regenerative powers so no freaky deaky Captain Hook thing going on! *phew*
Marisela, I totally agree about “No Rest for the Wicked.” Sebastian is totally a huge vampire wimp ass! But Bowen is all sorts of hottness. Give him a try! Just remember that I have Mrs Bowen tattooed on my right butt cheek.
Ana said,
May 4, 2008 @ 3:20 pm
I completely agree that up until Wicked Deeds, her werewolves were muich better than her vampires - I really did no like Sebastian very much although I loved Kaderin. You know, I keep re-reading your review of Wicked Deeds all the time - it is one of my favorites. Gotta love Bowen *sighs*
andrea said,
May 4, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
I read this website because you ladies never fail to make me laugh. After all, what could be more important than that? Other than hot naked vampire men of course. Thanks for the great reviews.
La Lola said,
May 4, 2008 @ 7:43 pm
You and me both Ana, you and me both! Although I must say that Cadeon sounds like he’s going to be all sorts of fun.
And thanks andrea, it’s the support of you guys and the hope that one day, we will score a JR Ward ARC which keeps us going!
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
May 4, 2008 @ 8:02 pm
I was sad that there was no mention of my beloved Lachlain in this book.
And well, don’t hate me y’all, but i’m not sure I can be fully on board the Conrad love train. *wince and ducK*
Hey Mallory, I completely agree with you. I really liked Mari in this book and I loved how her relationship with Bowen carried over to this book. I totally giggled when he sacrificed his body and stood in front of her (to get her to come out of her mirror trance) while saying “Lass, after this, we will have words”. Hee!
lauren said,
May 5, 2008 @ 12:28 am
La Lola I would worry what would happen if you did recieve a JR Ward ARC, I mean one book three romance readers, scary.
La Lola said,
May 5, 2008 @ 10:56 am
That’s what our Battle to the death games are for, lauren!
Rainib said,
May 6, 2008 @ 12:11 am
Once again, your review is so on point and as fun to read as the actual book! I have been dying to hear your verdict(s) on the Virgin Hero. I still thought Conrad was hot and also thought it worked really well because of Kresley Cole’s whole mate thing. But her success with a V-hero leads me to wonder… can JR Ward make Phury hot, too?
Lauren said,
May 6, 2008 @ 6:10 am
Ahh battle to the death, makes sense now.
Kohdi said,
May 6, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
But Rainib, at least Neomi has had some considerable experiences and was able to, shall we say, direct Conrad, while Phurry and what’s her name are both virgins. 2 virgins together for the first time? Shall i say the words “fumbling” and “awkward” and leave it at that?
Kohdi said,
May 6, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
Ladies, love your reviews by the way, I laughed until i had stitches
La Lola said,
May 6, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
Hey Rainib, sadly, I doubt very much that Phury can ever be transformed into a hot hero. But I willl be happy to be proved wrong!
La Lola said,
May 6, 2008 @ 2:30 pm
*waves at Kohdi* Thanks Kohdi, always nice to have another reader (and potential contributor of suggestions of books to read— hint hint) around!
Kohdi said,
May 7, 2008 @ 9:44 pm
Book suggestions, let me think, just the usual Kresley Cole, Lisa Marie Rice ( My favourites are Midnight Man and Woman on the run, if you guys dont mind reading ebooks you can buy it straight from the Ellora Cave website), Sarah McCarty, I dont get the buttsecks either but her Promise series was hot, better than the new one I think, also you can get the ebooks from Ellora Cave. Me, I live in Australia and new books take forever to get here and I’m all about instant gratification so I love ebooks
Oh I know, Elizabeth Elliot’s Warlord for delicious alpha who after locking the heroine up for running away from him, kept sneaking in at night to hold her while she slept *sighs*, it’s quite old though so might be hard to find. As for recent author, check out Nalini Singh Psy-Changeling series for growly possessive changelings. Now that I think about it book 3 has a virgin hero too, but he did a lot of researchs and was throrough with it being a Psy and all so it wasn’t too bad.
Lord, that was long, haha, this is what happens when long time lurker delurks. *waves*
Emma said,
May 8, 2008 @ 12:20 am
La Lola, if you’re looking for suggestions, have you read anything by Christine Feehan? I’ve liked most of her books, though her Dark series probably has the most alpha heroes - they tend to get *kinda* possessive and protective of their ‘lifemates’, seeing as they’d turn into evil vampires without them. And there’s not a virginal hero in sight.
lauren said,
May 8, 2008 @ 9:00 am
Oh I detested Dark Prince by her. I’ve always wanted to try something else, but that book was so not my thing I have been scared off the rest.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
May 8, 2008 @ 10:41 am
“Elizabeth Elliot’s Warlord for delicious alpha who after locking the heroine up for running away from him, kept sneaking in at night to hold her while she slept” - LOLA! TO THE PALE SCARY LADY PRONTO!!!!
La Lola said,
May 8, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
Hey Emma, I think I read a few Feehans before. Did one of them have a guy called Gregorian? do you have to read them in sequence?
Lauren, what was “Dark Prince” about?
And Kohdi, welcome into the light! It’s always nice when lurkers come out of the shadows to join the RMB party!
Emma said,
May 8, 2008 @ 7:23 pm
I didn’t read them in order - I think Dark Prince was the first in the series, but I thought it was one of the worst. Um, Gregori was the hero of Dark Magic I think, though he appears in a quite a few others as well. The latest one, Dark Possession, might be a good one to read - the hero is v alpha and the heroine is pretty much a city girl in the middle of the jungle (she wears Micheal Kors boots in the jungle, why, I’m not sure, but she seems to have good taste in clothes at least).
La Lola said,
May 8, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
Alright, maybe I’ll give Feehan another try then. Will start with “Dark Possession.” No pressure Emma! And a girl wearing boots in the middle of the jungle? Clearly a long lost sister of RMB.
lauren said,
May 8, 2008 @ 10:55 pm
Sheridan I believe Warlord has been out of print for a while so it may be a tough book to track down. But there are rumors she’s coming out with another book so maybe they’ll reprint her old ones when she does.
La Lola said,
May 9, 2008 @ 11:46 am
*supports Sheridan as she is led weeping from the room*
Ana said,
May 12, 2008 @ 10:57 pm
Oh, I read this over the weekend and can I just say? Conrad restored my faith in Cole’s vampires. What a man. Le sigh. And Bowen was there too being all protective to Mariketa. Le sigh #2.
Loved this book and seriously, Cade’s story is shaping up to be a good one too yes?
La Lola said,
May 12, 2008 @ 11:10 pm
Oh Ana, you have no idea how excited we are about Cade’s book. A full fledged rage demon who’s possessive and will do anything to watch out for his mate? *shiver* Yee haa!
Sayuri said,
May 30, 2008 @ 12:24 am
Heh!
i just finished the first KC and frickin’ adored it. The cover art put me off for sooo long. I mean it’s seriously f**ked.
I have read sooo many good reviews about this series I can’t wait to get the rest now. And if Lachlian is anything to go by I’m seriously going to fall for every one of them. (But I think Lachlain might be my fav, since he was my first!)
La Lola said,
May 30, 2008 @ 2:37 am
Hey Sayuri, *looks around nervously* Better not let Sheridan hear you claim Lachlain, coz she’s a wee bit possessive where he’s concerned. Think Mama Bengal tiger! Have fun with the rest of the series! I personally loved Bowen’s book (Book No. 3). Sebastian’s book (i.e Book 2) was very meh for me.
Sayuri said,
May 30, 2008 @ 6:56 am
Hey, La Lola!
But, but….. Lachlain in my Kresley Cole boyf….I’m not greedy, I will share. Well I have too cause all my other boyf get all pissy then. Let’s see, I have Drifter my Meljean Brook boyf. Hawke, my Nalini Singh boyf. Kyrian, my Sheyrlin Kenyon boyf. Artur, my Marjorie M Liu boyf. Japh, my Lililth Saintcrow boyf. Reyes, my Gena Showalter boyf. Butch, my JR Ward boyf. Kellan, my Keri Arthur boyf.
See, I have a busy schedule. I only see Lachlain, maybe one a fortnight. It’s all good.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
May 30, 2008 @ 8:50 am
LAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCHHHHHLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *howl of a mama Bengal tiger*
Mine.
Sayuri said,
May 30, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
Hey SSC,
If you are partial to a alpha male or two you should read Keri Arthurs’ ‘Riley Jensen’ series. Awesome alpha males in that. As well as Nalini Singhs’ Psy/Changeling series. Alphas all over that.
(See I’m trying to distract her with many bootiful alphas so I can have my wicked way with Lachlain. I’m like totally devious.. Heh!))
Sayuri said,
June 17, 2008 @ 6:21 am
Ok, so after reading this I found that I love all of Kresley Coles man-candy. I could eat Conrad up and he likes that! *grin*
But I have come to the conclusion that I must like the betas more than the alphas which is fine cause someone has got to love the Butchs’ and the Bastians of this world.
Since I seem to have no barometer for this I need one of you girls to read Erin McCarthy’s ‘Heiress For hire’ and tell me if Danny Tucker is remotely sexy cause he had my griddle flaming! F-L-A-M-I-N-G! Seriously he was hot…and sensitive…and yeah, I don’t think he was an alpha. But he was friggin’ hot. With a farmers tan to boot. (I’m a country gal. It does funny things to our insides.)
Zoe said,
July 28, 2008 @ 6:14 am
I’ve just finished Dark Needs at Night’s Edge and WOW. Who ever thought a loco virgin vampire would be so damn hawt? And to team him up with an ex-burlesque dancer? Bold move, but admittedly a very good one. But as hot as Conrad was, he will never take the place of Cade -le sigh-
La Lola said,
July 28, 2008 @ 2:08 pm
Hahahaah- le sigh- Nikolai and Conrad are definitely representin’ for the vampire population in Kresley Cole’s world, let me tell you that. I think Sebastian might have been adopted. Next up, Rydstrom! *happy shiver*
livlife said,
August 5, 2008 @ 6:40 am
Need to just pop in and stake my claim….again. Rydstrom is mine. MINE. Like I’m an honorary member of the BDB, my inner voice keeps chanting. MINE. MINE. whenever I see his name.
Sigh. I loved that he was in this one. And in Cade’s, although…………
But please, let it be known, shout it from the rooftops, herald it with trumpets, whatever it takes: Rydstrom + Livlife 4ever!!!!!