Bang her to mash
“Pleasure for Pleasure” by Eloisa James
I like my romance novels simple. They could have the most convoluted, pretzel bending plots ever, but they have to primarily be about the hero and heroine. Sure, you could throw in the couple’s best friends/ siblings/ neighbours/ cousins 4 times removed/ dogs as secondary characters just to show me the wide world of prequel/sequel/trilogical love that awaits me and tempt me into buying the author’s entire back series thereby contributing to her fund to buy her dream home in Aruba. But I just really want to read about the hero and heroine. I’m simple that way. Which is why sometimes, I find that I can’t really get into Eloisa James’ books.
There’s no denying she’s a talented author; she has a way with words which is almost as deft as my knowledge of Chanel’s Spring/Summer 2008 Act. But she has this thing where she has a whole cast of characters going on at the same time, and often there are more than a few romances going on in the same book. Call it tunnel vision if you will, but there’s a reason why I pick up a book, and that’s because something on the blurb sounds interesting enough that I want to read about the couple. I don’t want to pick up a book and find that about slightly less than half the book is devoted to another secondary couple and an assortment of other friends. Then I would go and buy a book about THAT secondary couple. Or a phonebook.
And it’s frustrating when the main couple are appealing, because everytime I start to get into the swing of things and into their relationship, the book has veered off to talk about the other couples. “Pleasure for Pleasure” was the last in Eloisa Jame’s Essex sisters quartet about, you guessed it, the 4 Essex sisters. There’s Tess, Annabelle, Imogen and Josie. They were all ok, with the notable exception of Imogen, whom I unconsciously thought of as Imogen the Irritating, and whom I desperately wanted to stuff into a grenade launcher and shoot out into space. To infinity and beyond!
“Pleasure for Pleasure” is about Josie and Garret Langham, Earl of Mayne. Garret is one of those extremely suave and sophisticated men, who’s also incredibly well-dressed and I must admit, for the longest time I suspected he batted for the same team. Please note that membership into our ultra-exclusive Alpha Male Club of Hottness is strictly by way of invitation only, and judging criteria is based on factors such as The Jealousy, ability to grovel and whether you’re so manly your pee is used for rocket fuel. (Sadly Mayne, because Lola suspected for the longest time that boys were your toys, your application for membership has been turned down.)
Josie Essex is plump and has a merry disposition. Mayne is a friend of Josie’s guardian, Rafe. Rafe is married to Imogen with my great sympathies, and when they are off on their honeymoon, it’s left to Garret to swoop in and help Josie when scandal breaks. OK, scandal is perhaps too strong a word for it, but people have started referring to Josie as “The Scottish Sausage” and it isn’t helping her popularity. I suppose if you’re the hero, it’s ok to be referred to as “The Scottish Sausage” (Gerard my love!) but I suppose if you’re a girl, being compared to an emulsified high fat offal tube is decidedly less than complimentary. Go figure. Mayne decides to champion Josie and teach her to be a desirable woman. Of course, he doesn’t think he can ever fall in love with Josie, because he’s surely in love with his French fiancée Sophie, who knows almost as much as he and La Lola do about clothes.
Now see, if the book had featured just Mayne and Josie and their developing love for each other, I would have been a happy camper. I loved how Mayne was so protective over Josie and how his feelings for her changed from that of an avuncular older brother to wanting to throw her onto a couch and ruin her for any other man. But everytime I’m settling into the story happily, focus shifts to the secondary couple (Mayne’s widowed sister Griselda and her lover) and dude, I could care less! If I wanted to read about Uninteresting Secondary Couple Used To Bolster Word Count, I would go out and buy a separate book with Uninteresting Secondary Couple Used To Bolster Word Count! In this case, La Lola does not want 2 for the price of 1!
But Josie’s newfound social success has made her an enemy and Josie’s attacked at the racecourse (by a man, not a horse), leaving Josie shaken but unhurt. Alas, Mayne jumps to the erroneous conclusion that Josie’s been ruined, and he’s overcome with fury and wants to go out and tear the villain limb from limb, and thinking about death by boiling oil. All good, because unleash your inner possessiveness Mayne! We here at ripmybodice salute you! Gold star for you! *Lola, Sheridan and Mimi raise bottles of gin, vodka and tequila respectively* But then what happens? 3 guesses! No Mimi, Ted Bundy isn’t revealed to be the killer after Josie (This is a H-I-S-T-O-R-I-C-A-L romance). No Sheridan, they don’t discover that sausages produced in China contain lead poisoning. Geez you guys suck at this guessing thing. The secondary couple show up! That’s right! Right in the middle of the scene with Mayne stomping around like an angry bear in search of a hapless camper to dismember, we are plunked into the middle of a sex scene between Uninteresting Secondary Couple Used To Bolster Word Count! Aieeeeeeeee!
And finally La Lola must admit to being a bit befuddled by the ending. Because Josie, thinking that Mayne is still in love with his French fiancée, decides to let him be with the woman he loves, and drugs Mayne and has him thrown onboard a boat together with Sophie. And when Mayne appears at her door, dripping water and pretending that he drowned, she faints. OK actually that was pretty funny. But c’mon now! For someone who has been weaned on truly dramatic climaxes from Judith McNaught, this made me go “pffifle.” That’s it?! That’s the denouement? At the end of the book, I’m left with a curious sense of deflation (oh that’s another criteria for entry into Club Alpha– under no circumstances can a hero deflate. Even if a crazy psycho is threatening to poke pins into his Captain Winky like a voodoo doll.) Hmm, now I kind of feel like having some sausages for breakfast. Who’s with me!
cutepolishgirl68 said,
April 10, 2008 @ 12:17 am
Did I tell you I used to be called the polish kielbasa??? just kidding. I usually love Ms. James books, but sometimes I have to read ahead to get back to the basic story line. On a side note, I don’t mind when a heroine is plus-sized, as I have a few curves I’d rather not have. However, just how realistic, even in a romance, that some guy has lover after lover who is a rail with speed bumps, and then all of a sudden finds out that the lovely, luscious plump one is the body type he has really wanted but never knew??
Wendy said,
April 10, 2008 @ 1:50 am
cutepolishgirl - I had the same problem. It felt very forced.
la lola - you do NOT want to read her latest series. (Though the second one is pretty good.) There are about 14 secondary couples.
livlife said,
April 10, 2008 @ 7:26 am
Hear, Hear! I have to say that I started reading EJ based on recommendation from Julia Quinn (well, her website…she and I just aren’t that close). I love JQ, she puts the fun back in funny. So when she says “I love EJ and beg for advance copies of her newest books…” I thought that I should check her out. Unfortunately, I have not liked any of them. Not. One. There is always waaaay too much going on and the primary romance usually feels forced or incomplete because it was thrown together in the last two pages. Blech.
Though I will say that I liked Josie as a plump heroine. It is so rare to find a heroine who is not ravishingly beautiful, with ice blond hair, eyes as blue as the summer sky, and skinny as a damn twig. Or some such amalgamation. So hooray to Josie and her less-than-perfect figure. I wish there were more of her.
La Lola said,
April 10, 2008 @ 11:01 am
CPG, I hear you. I guess I can suspend belief a bit more if the hero has confessed that he likes all sorts of women. Skinny ones, curvy ones, it doesn’t matter to him. He’s a proponent of Free Love. But when all along he’s been attracted to skinny, lithe girls and suddenly he likes curvy ones, or vice versa when all along he’s loved curvy girls but all of a sudden he’s attracted to the heroine’s boyish figure which he finds refreshing? Convenient much.
Thanks for the tip Wendy, I must confess, I’ve stayed away from Eloisa James’ books for a while. Which is pretty sad because I want to like them, but because she never focuses on the couple I want, I can’t quite get into it. 14 couples… jeez. It’s like a dating agency.
And livlife, I like plump heroines too. I think because I read “Wishes” by Jude Deveraux when I was a wee tot, and quite liked the idea that a heroine didn’t have to look like Gisele to get lucky.