“Highlander Untamed by Monica McCarty”

Having only recently been let back into the ripmybodice.com offices after my harmless joke, I was happy to find that: (a) my pre-ordered Gucci Hysteria bag was still sitting in its packaging and had not been opened by any of the girls; (b) Juan had thoughtfully folded and tabbed several pages of this month’s In Style magazine that he thought I would be interested in; (c) no heads of dead anythings were to be found anywhere in my office (though I did find a stick figure drawing of what I think is supposed to be me (the there was an arrow saying “Sheridan, this is you. Hope you had fun in Mexico! XOXO- Mi”), being eaten alive by lizards); and (d) Lola had kindly restocked my TBR pile while I was away. Refusing Sven’s offers to feed me with more goddamn meatballs but accepting his offer of whipping me up a mandarin bellini, I picked up the first book in my now Yao Ming high pile of unread books, ignoring the pink post-it on top which said “You must read this. Sexy Highland chief. Why aren’t all Scottish men like this? Must discuss. Come find me. Am making buttons in the boardroom with Juan. PS: Mimi left you a drawing to prove she ain’t mad at you anymore. XOXO - Lola”.

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“Extreme Exposure” by Pamela Clare
My fellow Americans,

I stand before you, not as La Lola, purveyor of fabulicious style and chocolate donuts and the queen of the witty one liner, but as a chica concerned about the future of our country. Putting asides the tragedies of our recent history (like how Daughtry didn’t win last season’s American Idol), we have a chance for moving forward (like if David Cook wins this season). And so I come to you in all seriousness, levity and wisecracks (hilarious though they may be) temporarily shelved along with last season’s Manolos. To try and use the little persuasive power we may have to push our political agenda. To plead with you in this very important political message.
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“The Velvet Promise” by Jude Deveraux
*In the gym at the RMB offices, La Lola, Mimi and Sheridan are sparring.*

La Lola, dressed in skimpy camouflage shorts and a white tank top, blows her diamante whistle as she marches past Sheridan dressed in Baby Phat combat gear and Mimi who’s wearing head-to-toe black leather. Mimi and Sheridan are intently pummelling two life-sized dummies with the name “Gavin Montgomery” blazoned across the chest.
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“Hard Evidence” by Pamela Clare
Wanted:

One hott FBI agent to call my own.

Name: Julian “I not only bring sexy back I kick it to the curb” Darcangelo. Also answers to the name of “Dark Angel.” *squeeeeee!* La Lola so wants to be touched by this angel.
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“Forbidden” by Susan Johnson
Sheridan and I had sushi for lunch today, and on the way back, popped by our regular bookshop hoping that the new Kresley Cole has come in. Cannot fathom why there are posters on walls outside bookshop saying “Kresley Cole’s book has not come in Sheridan and Lola!!” Clearly there must be another Sheridan and Lola who have been pestering for the book. What a coincidence. (Some people just have no idea when to stop bugging other people.)
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“Bride Enchanted” by Edith Layton

Now I’m not a big believer of the whole new age “fairies and angels and unicorns and goblins live among us” theory. Possibly because if I had to choose a supernatural world to co-exist with us, it would be filled with gorgeous warrior vampires wrapped in leather wanting to throw me down in their darkened candlelit rooms, or sexy growly werewolves who want nothing more than to rip the still beating heart of a Beta Male for even glancing at me. Basically if the world of JR Ward, Lara Adrian and Kresley Cole were combined into one and real, I’d be happier than Liberache finding the entrance to Ali Baba’s cave. So you can be sure that I was less than thrilled to have read this book. Especially since I had no idea what I was getting into when I picked it up. FALSE ADVERTISING AVON ROMANCE, I thought I was reading a typical run-of-the-mill historical romance novel! For the love of sweet baby infant Jesus!!! First nitrous oxide, now goddamn immortal fairies living alongside mortals in 17th/18th century England. Is nothing sacred anymore?!!

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“Silver Flame” by Susan Johnson
“Hola Lola what are you up to?” Sheridan came flouncing into Lola’s office. “Sven’s bought a new bottle of Chocolate Delight massage oil, and I’m DYING to have Sven oil me up like a pig at a luau! Do you want to join me?” Sheridan stopped short at the sight of Lola, who was lying on the floor with a pillow jammed over her face.
 

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“To the Limit” by Pamela Britton
Now see on paper, this book works. Kristen McKenna, bookish, dowdy engineer is jogging along a beach when out of nowhere, a helicopter lands near her. It’s bearing the chiselled body of her boss, Matthew Knight, CEO of Knight Enterprises and the world’s most eligible bachelor. (La Lola’s perking up faster than you can say breast lift.) So when Matthew tells Kristen that he’s bought a NASCAR racing team and wants her to be the engineer because she has a background in aerodynamics, she leaps at the chance.
 

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“Midnight Awakening” by Lara Adrian

Due to the intense and passionate nature of her feelings for the one Breed warrior known as Tegan (last name not known), Sheridan is of the opinion that to write this here review in prose, would not be doing the splendour and wonder of the vampire known as Tegan justice. And Sheridan is all about the justice. And so, ignoring the groans and moans of Lola and Mimi who have gathered in the RipMyBodice meeting room for “Talent Night”, Sheridan Sakura Carlotta presents: An Ode to Tegan - With Accompanying Interpretative Notes.

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“Pleasure for Pleasure” by Eloisa James
I like my romance novels simple. They could have the most convoluted, pretzel bending plots ever, but they have to primarily be about the hero and heroine. Sure, you could throw in the couple’s best friends/ siblings/ neighbours/ cousins 4 times removed/ dogs as secondary characters just to show me the wide world of prequel/sequel/trilogical love that awaits me and tempt me into buying the author’s entire back series thereby contributing to her fund to buy her dream home in Aruba. But I just really want to read about the hero and heroine. I’m simple that way. Which is why sometimes, I find that I can’t really get into Eloisa James’ books.

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