Ever read a romance where you went, “yeah that was ok, but I wish they’d focused on the secondary characters instead. Now that was a story.” You haven’t? Well, just pretend the answer’s yes, will you? Sometimes second best isn’t so bad. Sometimes the sidekick does a Winona Ryder at Saks and steals the show. Sometimes Nicole rises up and punts Paris over the border. Sometimes Lex Luthor is more interesting than Clark Kent, despite being follicle-challenged. Sometimes secondary characters should get their own books. So we present to you…
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“Devil in Winter” by Lisa Kleypas
To: Sebastian, Lord St. Vincent
From: The Office of Sheridan Sakura Carlotta

Dearest Sebastian,

We regret to inform you that you will not be receiving an exclusive invitation to Sheridan Sakura Carlotta’s fortnightly Lisa Kleypas manwich party, of which Mr. John McKenna, Mr. Simon Hunt, and Mr. Marcus Westcliff are honored and frequent guests. Especially Mr. John McKenna. We would like you to know that we have (which means to say, Sheridan has) agonized over this decision for many a nights, and have taken into account your vast popularity with many other Romance readers and your cameo appearances in, amongst others, “It Happened One Autumn“, and “Mine til Midinght“. We hope you do not take offense to this. Let not your ego be bruised. We explain our decision below:

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“The Fire of Spring” by Elizabeth Lowell
This book has long been out of print. But I tracked the book down because I’m a wee bit obsessive that way. Anyone who’s ever read an Elizabeth Lowell book should know that her heroes are as alpha as they come (read: macho jerks on occasion). Add the fact that this book was published in 1986, and be prepared for a travel back in time to when heroines were doormats and heroes liked to step all over them. Hard.
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“If You Desire” by Kresley Cole
Hugh MacCarrick is the second of three
Hot brothers from a Scottish family.
You’ve heard about Courtland
And I’ve mooned over Ethan
Now it’s time to tell you about Hugh the Heathen.
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You ain’t Alpha until you’re a Judith McNaught hero

1. Be richer than that Greek guy (not Onassis). Judith McNaught (”JM”) heroes are invariably described as being richer than Croesus, with money pouring out of their wazoo. (This is more attractive than it sounds). Able to buy and sell small African nations with their pocket change, the JM Hero’s wealth may have been inherited by virtue of his acute business acumen, or inherited from his older than God bloodline. Whatever babe, so long as you know the money’s there. The immense wealth of our JM hero also allows him to shower jewels, luxury cars and yachts on the fortunate object of his affections, but always tastefully done of course. *gnashing of teeth in extreme jealousy*. Also see point 5 for uses of wealth.

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“Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night” by Kresley Cole
I love vampires. Love them. In fact, all the RMB girls do. We have a bumper sticker on the RMB mobile that screams “I brake for vampires” in bling. (As you may be able to tell, we brake for no one.) But werewolves are slowly and seductively creeping their way (or clawing, take your pick) into my black heart, courtesy of Kresley Cole. Warning though, don’t read on if you want to buy this book and don’t want to know about the good stuff. Coz trust me, I’m going to spill.
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“Unforgettable” by Julie Ortolon
I’m a sucker for those “wrong side of the tracks” kind of books. I think it’s the sense that chemical attraction can be so strong that it overwhelms everything, including different income brackets. All the better if they’re set in the South, because there’s that secret hope that I’m going to stumble across another Bobby Tom. I loved “After the Night” by Linda Howard, which featured one of those plots. And when I was lurking in the aisles of our local bookshop like the ghost of Christmas past, trying to find a new book to read, I happened to pick up “Unforgettable” by Julie Ortolon, which had just this kind of plot.
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1. Always err on the side of caution and assume the worst in the case of any misunderstanding. Did you find a stray paper clip stuck to his shirt? He MUST be having an affair! Or, he never really learnt how to trust you and he never will; thanks to his scarred childhood. Never give your man room for doubt. Always seek to create optimum miscommunication, misunderstanding, disappointment and heartache. It’ll only make the realisation of wrong all the more sweeter.
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“Granite Man” by Elizabeth Lowell
Cash McQueen is your typical Elizabeth Lowell hero (before she ventured onto the treacherous path aka Romantic Suspense aka The Way To Alienate RMB Girls Forever). He’s arrogant, rude and so alpha that his pee is used for rocket fuel. Like any series hero, Cash was perfectly acceptable in the books in which he appears as a secondary character. Put him in his own book however, and all the sense and normality he exhibited previously vanish in a poof of smoke.
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“Boss Man” by Diana Palmer
Let’s play a game. And not “Schoolmarm Sue and Farmhand Luke play hoe down” either. *shoots glare at Mimi, who has brought out costumes with a hopeful look*

1. You are a rather curvaceous secretary named Violet, living in a small Texan town and in love with your lawyer boss, Blake Kemp. You choose to (a) moon over him and keep your feelings for him secret (although even Kim Jong Il knows you bear him unrequited love. Blake, not Kim Jong Il, because isn’t he some fuzzy haired little puppet or something?) or (b) declare your love, which he then returns with utmost grace and happiness.
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