‘Cos this is thriller, thriller night
It’s that time of the year again. The bad moon’s rising and ghosts and ghouls are coming out to play. The ripmybodice girls love Halloween. Our offices are decked out with diamante skulls and bloodied daggers (basically we just moved all of Mimi’s year-long decor out from her office and into the open). We’ve done it all. Planned our annual Halloween bash; found recipes for Blood Punch; rented horror flicks like “Gigli” and “Are We There Yet”; gotten our costumes (Lola’s going as Wonder Woman, Sheri as the Captain of The Mile High Club and Mimi’s a Sheriff Gone Wild.). So all that’s left to do is present to you, our first ever Halloween post.
Bite Me Baby One More Time:
Now if there is one supernatural entity we would love to go “bump in the night” with (or is that hump in the night?), it’s the vampire (of the BDB variety. Not sappy wimpy Louis from “Interview with a Vampire”). We very much doubt that Bram Stoker had intended vampires (googly defined to be a “reanimated corpse” and a member of the undead society) to be all kinds of sexy specimens of men who are also possessors of a certain magnetic pull, incredible bodies, connoisseurs of hip-hop music and all round HOTT beings, or that we, in the 21st century would consider the drinking of blood wildly sexual (in the vampire context! in the vampire context!) when he wrote “Dracula”. Wethinks he would understand though, if he read the BDB series and the intensely sexually charged “A Hunger Like No Other”, or watched Gerard in “Dracula 2000″. Oh Gerard! You can come Nosferatu me ANYTIME. Bring on the immortality and pointy fangs! Imagine what an ice-breaker it must be when you debut your sharp pearly whites at a boring social event! And who cares that you can never see another sunrise/sunset or get a decent tan ever again? The sun and its rays are highly overrated (plus, there’s always Jiffy Tan from Benefit for that nice golden glow). Wouldn’t you rather be lying in the embrace of your undead lover, hearing his heartbe…urm…enjoying the silence of the night?
Half wolf, half man, ALL STUDMUFFIN:
Generally werewolves have less good press than vampires (a result of not hiring expensive PR consultants), to the great chagrin of Lachlain from “A Hunger Like No Other. (aka the moan that we suspiciously hear wafting out of Sheridan’s office every other day) If you like your steak rare and bloody and your men bare and broody, why not consider hooking up with a werewolf lover? Werewolves are fiercely territorial and possessive and growly *happy shiver* and will exhibit this by baring their teeth and claws at any male who gets too close to their mate. For all our sakes, let’s hope this territoriality is confined to sexy possessive behaviour, and not that your werewolf lover pees in a circle around you or even worse, on you.
Werewolves are the alpha, elemental fighters of the paranormal world. So what if they’re a little rough around the edges? This is nothing that a little cuddle will not cure. Plus you know what they say. Big paws, big snout, big…tail. For those of you whose significant others have hair on their backs, well, maybe you could pretend he’s a werewolf.
Variety is the spice of life
And bringing up the rear *rolling of eyes at Mimi, who’s perked up like a Chihuahua on crack at the word “rear” are those other supernatural creatures. Let’s start with ghosts. Ghosts aren’t a common sight in romance novels. Sure you get a few ghost romances here and there, but really, you want your hero to be tough and strong and macho and not… transparent. Plus, aren’t ghosts always tinged a very insipid blue-ish white? Think of how impossible it will be to colour coordinate with each other when you go on dates (a daily concern which ranks of high importance). There’s always Jane from “Lover Unbound” of course, although the whole second cousin of Casper thing came across as a trifle odd to Sheridan and Lola; Mimi just thought it was more of JR Ward’s artistry at work. And how difficult will it be to have a relationship with a guy who can walk into walls? Every time you get into a fight about whose turn it is to walk the ghostly dog, he’ll up and vamoose into the dry-plaster. Try explaining that to the neighbours.
And no Halloween post would be the same without the mention of some sort of demons. Although not so common in the Romance world, there have been sightings in certain Sherrilyn Kenyon books, and we bring to you, in particular, the short story entitled “Winter Born” about two enemy were-panthers (half human, half panther when attacked or having sex) who come together in love. Yes it’s true. And no, we’re not kidding, and it is not April the first. They meet at some convention of the weird and wacky where humans dress up as all sorts of crazy alien creatures, which apparently is The place to be if you’re a demon and wish to interact with hot human women in costume. You see, Pandora is in heat, and has to find a mate soon if not…her demon panther bajojo will corrode and fall out or something. Pandora seeks a gentle mate who will treat her right and not kill her during mating, or abandon her after. Dante is an old and powerful were-panther, not looking to settle down, and incredibly world-weary at having to manage the family brood. Unfortunately, he picks up Pandora’s scent and despite his best efforts to run in the other direction, finds himself outside her hotel room. Sexy panther time ensues (with and without fur), and eventually the two are mated (take it whichever way you want because they certainly have), fight injustice, and live happily ever after. Thanks to our keen intuitive sense trained by years of Romance reading, we have reason to believe and/or suspect that “Winter Born” is part of a series which we may or may not endeavor to read and review on this website, depending on how the alcohol budget for the month holds up.
So there you have it! Our first ever Halloween post here at ripmybodice.com. Happy trick or treating everybody!
cutepolishgirl68 said,
October 26, 2007 @ 9:24 am
don’t forget the gargoyles- I quite like them- hard and buff protectors against evil.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
October 26, 2007 @ 10:27 am
ooh…hard and buff indeed!