Gluttony is a sin
“Cooking up a Storm” by Emma Holly
I’m still waiting for my copy of Fairyville. Yes, our local book store has failed me on a level previously unimaginable, surpassed only by that time Coco my French bulldog decided to let go the previous night’s dinner on the shoes of that cute jogger I met in the park. (I was there to have a picnic, and not actually jog.) My puppy’s resemblance to the Hoover Dam notwithstanding, I decided to keep myself entertained by reading another Emma Holly book.
“Cooking Up a Storm†isn’t one of Emma Holly’s best books. I’m a big Emma Holly fan, but dare I say it, this seemed a trifle formulaic. And more staid and conventional than her usual. That is, if a book can be staid and conventional when it involves multiple scenes of ménage a trios, or ménage a quatre, in this case.
Abby owns the Coates Inn, which is falling into a not so graceful decline. Her inn comes with a restaurant, and she’s desperate to hire a chef to revitalize the restaurant. Who should come strutting in but Storm Dupree, cock of the walk and French chef extraordinaire. Storm intends to help Abby build the restaurant into a success, before stealing it from her. But you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men. Storm (a very hot man) decides to lay Abby (a timid mouse) and show her the sexual ropes (literally). Before you know it, it’s getting hot in the kitchen.
Storm, like so many Emma Holly heroes before him, is a master of the amorous arts. Give that man a rope and watch him soar. Sheer genius. Abby on the other hand, seems to veer from shy wallflower into sexpot Venus flytrap with a snap of my shapely fingers. She gets it on with:
(a) Jake, a friend of her father’s, whom she has had a crush on since she was a teenager (Ick).
(b) 3 men who work in a sexual tag team. I can’t remember their names, but they are described as consisting of “a fat one,†“a thin one†and a “bodybuilder.†Call me finicky (and most have), but those are not my idea of attractive stereotypes. How sexy can it be if it puts you in the mind of the 3 stooges, but having sex? EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW.
(c) Her homosexual waitress, who is also entangled with Jake, abovementioned old man referred to in (a).
(d) Handyman (I’ll say) who comes to her inn to help fix her pipes (Resist cheap digs, resist cheap digs…)
Lola’s exhausted just typing all that, so hats off to Abby, who must surely be on drugs.
Despite all these shenanigans, the sense of emotional intensity and tender feelings which are present in Emma Holly’s other books, like “All U Can Eat†(ironic, I know) are absent here. None of the characters are particularly well-fleshed out. (Dammit Lola, take the high road!) Although Emma Holly’s trademark male on male action is present here, it’s more humour-erotica rather than homo-erotica. Again, 3 Stooges anybody?
And the games come full circle, as Abby, Storm (volatile chef), Jake (old man) and lesbian waitress (pretty sure her name starts with an M) roll around on the mattress together like oversexed puppies.
I ended up not particularly liking Abby. She sleeps with a lot of people (boy does she) and rationalizes it as her just discovering herself. Tomato, tohamato, self-discovery, skankhood. And for those who accuse me of double-standards because Storm also sleeps around, he’s upfront with Abby that he’s not interested in a commitment (at least at first), and in the end, he’s actually a whole lot more faithful to Abby than she is to him. Quelle irony.
With the amount of sexcapades that occur in this restaurant, Lola can only fervently wish that they buy hand sanitizers and Dettol in bulk. As for me, I’m just going to content myself with watching Jamie Oliver and salivating… over the food.
cutepolishgirl68 said,
October 6, 2007 @ 4:37 am
You know how some authors are a hit or miss with their books???? I have tried several books of Emma Holly, and they are all a big miss with me! I can’t give her any more chances. The last one I tried was All U Can Eat- ugh!
Why are all her heroines such sluts? And how come the hero just doesn’t care about that, or gets hot watching her with someone else, or joins in with the heroine and some other partner?
In my vast, ahem…., mininum experience (only 2 before marriage-but I had a lot of guy friends!)…men do not like to see their woman or the woman they want be a total skank. Sure the manwich sounds like fun, but only in my mind with the guys I pick (Z, V, R, P,,,,,).
I am all for erotica in my romances….but I do need a bit of realistic romance in my erotica.
I did just finish the Midnight series by Lisa Marie Rice, and I liked Midnight Run with Claire and Bud the best. Bud says, ” I want you to be comfortable, because this is the position you’re going to be in for a long, long while.” hot flash!!!
~~~Can I just say, I used to dive into the political blogs I have bookmarked before starting my work day at home, but now I check your blog first every morning before I work, and you ladies put a smile on my face that lasts most of the day…depending on how well my 2-1/2 yr old daughter’s potty training is going. Thanks for the site and the excitement. Sounds corny, but I feel like I have found new friends with you guys….tissues, anyone?~~~
La Lola said,
October 6, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
Awww.. CPG! That’s so sweet of you! *sniffley hug* To know that we have a part to play in taking your mind off your baby’s poop has made my day as well. *grin* I guess Emma Holly’s not everyone’s cup of darjeeling, but have you ever tried her straight historical? “Beyond Innocence” is very good, and it’s a straight historical romance, without her geometric/quadrangle love.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
October 7, 2007 @ 5:38 pm
aww…cutepolishgirl68 you just made my day! We’re thrilled you like our little site! Mimi? Mimi! Stop staring at the picture of Damien Hirst’s diamond encrusted skull and get your butt over here! *group hug*
Ma'mselle Mimi said,
October 9, 2007 @ 10:06 am
Sorry.. but it’s DIAMONDS.. on a SKULL!!! Ok ok. *GROUP HUG*!! We heart you CPG! Hope your daughter didn’t ..er.. miss the bowl too much today!
Bedelia said,
October 10, 2007 @ 5:18 pm
Yeah, this is not, IMO, one of Emma Holly’s best. It kinda plays like a really weird porno; scene after scene of unsympathetic and somewhat uncomfortable sex with a variety of slightly skeevy characters. But it’s still a keeper on my shelf, if only because without it, my E.H. library would be incomplete.
On further thought, I think I only really love maybe 1/2 of her books; Personal Assets, Menage, the first 2 vampirey ones, and her demon ones. And the most recent of the demon titles seemed like it was missing a little bit of something… like the story could’ve been fleshed out a little more, I suppose.
I’m grateful to Emma Holly for not being prissy, though, whatever she writes.
I’ll be interested to see what you all think of Fairyville.