Something wicked this way comes
“Wicked Promise” by Kat Martin
I was clearing out the bookshelves in my RMB office the other day, to make way for the explosion of books which seems to have come in recent months. When you start to discover books tucked away in your underwear drawer, something needs to be done my friend. (Sheridan and Mimi are also presently AWOL, after an unfortunate incident yesterday involving Sheridan’s Chrysler Building tower of books, an unsuspecting Mimi who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and subsequent urgent need for a forklift.) Sandwiched between some of my books was my old copy of “Daddy Long Legs,†which I had read and loved when I was younger. Hence, being in the mood for a slightly OTT book featuring an older guardian hero and his innocent ward, but with decidedly not PG-13 tastes any longer, I decided to reread “Wicked Promise†by Kat Martin.
A few months back, I had gone on a Kat Martin glom. I must say, I stayed clear of her contemporary novels, being an ardent fan of the admittedly historically inaccurate regency ball and breeches setting. But some of her historicals were rather good, with “Heartless†being my favourite. “Wicked Promise†was really good in the beginning, but unfortunately suffers from a saggy middle, much as how Sheridan and La Lola plan to look this Saturday after our Mexican food pig-out. (Mimi’s confining herself to a grain of unpolished rice a day, and unfortunately will not be joining us. *casts worried look at Mimi, who’s eyeing me rather wolfishly* But you look great though, Mimi!)
In “Wicked Promise,†Elizabeth Woolcot has been deposited on the doorstep of her guardian. This being a romance novel, her guardian is Hott Stuff, with nary a wrinkle or liverspot in sight. Nicholas Warring, Earl of Ravenworth is of course far from pleased that his ward (and a beautiful young girl at that, what a cross you must have to bear Nicky!) has shown up and is cramping his slutty style. Just a thought, are ravens considered highly attractive birds? The permutations of Ravenscliffe/ Ravensmere/ Ravenswood/Ravensarefullofbirdshit are endless. Because you know, I always thought that ravens were carrion-eating ugly black birds. Hawks I get, and apparently lots of romance writers do too, because chances are if the hero’s called Ravenscliff then his not so distant cousin is Hawksdowne.
Ornithology aside, Nicholas has far more pressing matters on his mind. Namely the fact that he’s been accused of murder but acquitted due to lack of evidence. He’s also married to his unfaithful wife, who refuses to give him a divorce. Having his name dragged through the mud, he is astounded that a ward has been given into his keeping. (As do we all, Nicky, but accompany you on this ride into the suspension of belief we shall.) But he’s hopelessly attracted to Elizabeth and it provides a few awww moments when he tries to impress her by winning at a horse race. Me, my approval is far more easily bought if you added to my collection of Chanel bangles, but hey, riding a poor sweaty horse into the ground is pretty romantic too.
There was one scene in the book which I really enjoyed though. Nicholas has a house party full of inappropriate and skanky guests, one of which is a redheaded acrobatic harlot. Yes, I kin hear it in the wind, Compromising Situation, she’s a-coming this way! Elizabeth catches Nicholas red-handed with the regency version of a Tex Avery girl, and runs away in tears. I am not ashamed to admit that there was a definite heart-twinge by this point! No shame at all! OK maybe a little shame at the fact that I am so easily manipulated, but I’m the kindly sort who gets bullied by fluffy baby ducks. Ask Mimi and Sheridan if you don’t believe me! *prods them in the back with dagger*
The book unfortunately gets very draggy and boring in the middle. Nicholas and Elizabeth can’t marry because he’s already married to a tyrannical scheming woman. Elizabeth is being stalked by a crazed psycho who wants to abduct her and make her his mistress. Nicholas is accused of the death of his wife (convenient that!) halfway through the book. You know, the usual. It does pick up briefly in the end though, when
*spoiler*
Elizabeth is shot by the crazed psycho man, who even more conveniently, turns out to be the murderer of Nicholas’ wife. All along, Nicholas has been refusing to tell Elizabeth that he loves her, even though the blind mole living at the bottom of my garden could have told Nicholas that he does. When Elizabeth lies near death, she begs Nicholas to tell her that he loves her, but she loses consciousness before he can do so. And Nicholas is full of anguish and regret that he never told her. Does Elizabeth eventually regain consciousness so that Nicholas can tell her how much he loves her? Do they live happily ever after in Regency Land and never have to worry about paying their kids’ tuition fees? If you really need me to answer that, then clearly you are on the wrong website my friend.
Wendy said,
September 26, 2007 @ 1:31 am
I found this one pretty meh. Heartless is my only Martin keeper.
Okay, okay, I confess I still haven’t gotten rid of Midnight Rider. I will… I will… someday!