The Adventures of Lola, SheridanSC and Mimi
“Mad race to the finish”
The day started like any other and yet, it was like no other day. SheridanSC was obsessively window shopping on www.net-a-porter.com, Lola was rearranging her collection of Chanel brooches in their custom built display case, and Mimi was crooning “I shot the Sheriff” softly to her new plants, while the pink glittery counter mounted on the reception wall of the ripmybodice.com offices counted down towards September 25th, also known as Day Vishous’s Book Arrives. The girls had their regular lunch meeting by the wet bar, discussing the website, different books they’ve read, and their usual plans of world domination and retreated to their respective offices and pile of books. Afternoon stretched to evening, but the girls didn’t notice - each caught up with their own readings/review writing/deep tissue massages, until, “BANG! CRASH! CRAAAAASH!” Startled, Sheridan looked up from her readings to see Mimi gesturing wildly at her from her glass office across the corridor, for Sheridan to pick up the phone.
“Why are you throwing your chrome skull set at me?! Whatever it is, it wasn’t me I swear it!” exclaimed Sheridan, from her office, breaking out in cold sweat having gotten a glimpse at the wild gleam in Mimi’s eyes (obvious even from 10 feet away).
Sheridan picked up the phone, and found that La Lola was already on the 3-way conference with Mimi. “Honestly Mimi, what is the big emergency,” barked La Lola impatiently. “Look at my eyeliner! I was putting it on when you threw your green Roger Vivier at me. I’d keep it, but we don’t wear the same shoe size. Now my eyeliner’s all smudged and I look like a roadie for KISS!”
“KISS rocks!” squealed Sheridan
“It’s out,” came the reverent whisper from Mimi.
“What’s out?” asked Lola absently, looking at the silver tips on her French manicure.
“IT. IS. OUT.”
“What? Ohhhhh…But…but how is such a thing possible? It is not September 25th! Oh god tell me I didn’t pass out in another alcoholic stupor!! I was supposed to visit Grandpappy Carlotta on the 21st! His new physiotherapist is REEAALLY CUTE!!!” rushed Sheridan, confusedly staring at her Gerard Butler calendar while absently stroking Gerard’s cheek. “SSSSHHHH!!” snapped Mimi, “You. Lola. Get car and bring to the front. You. Sheridan. Shut down the computers, blow out the massage candles, make sure the gas is off, the alcohol cabinet is secure and meet me in the lobby in 2 minutes. I’ll tell Sven and Juan they’ve got the day off tomorrow. We’ll meet Lola up front.”
“Roger Vivier that!” saluted Lola, as she rushed out to grab the keys to the ripmybodice mobile, a black Escalade with chrome rims and a hot pink racing stripe.
In exactly 2.03 minutes (0.03 minutes of which were spent by Sheridan patting Sven’s butt as they rushed out the door) and a squeal of tyres, the RMB girls were off, with Lola gripping the front wheel and driving like a bat out of hell. Swerving around the cars like Donkey Kong on crack, they finally careened to a stop outside the location of The Book. “Park near the entrance! Park near the…where’s the entrance?” yelled Sheridan, frantic now (swivelling her head from left to right so fast she nearly pulled a muscle) as Lola careened the vehicle into the underground parking bay (narrowly missing turning into the oncoming lane in her excitement). “Follow the old people!!” shouted Lola while expertly parking the ripmybodice mobile in the first lot the girls spotted, having noticed an elderly couple looking for the entrance. “Screw the old people! They suck!” came the command from the backseat, followed by a piercing war cry which sounded like “FOLLOW ME TO V!!!!!”
With that, Mimi rushed out in a cloud of blonde highlights, her heels clattering along the concrete floor, leaving Sheridan and Lola scampering after in her wake. “The lift! Get into the lift!!” snarled Mimi, viciously jabbing the “close door” button just as Sheridan and Lola rushed into the lift lobby, both flickering a look of apology at the couple who were inching away from Mimi in the lift. “WHY. ISN’T. IT. CLOSING?! *jab jab jabjabjabjabjab* V!!!!!!!!!”
As the lift doors opened, Mimi charged out, eyes swinging wildly in every direction. Lola and Sheridan hustled out of the lift after her, bumping into each other as they get stuck in the doors. “Where did she go?” Lola asked Sheridan, as Mimi was nowhere is sight. They heard a loud crash and screeches of pain and a voice snarling “I hate people who walk slowly! Your father does not own this pathway! Move woman!!” Lola and Sheridan looked at each other, “I think she went that way!” And they took off after the sounds of helpless people getting mowed out of the way like overgrown grass.
Scrambling after Mimi in her heels, Lola cried “Mimi! Wait up!!”, only to have Mimi throw her a “don’t make me go back there and kick both your asses for running so slowly cos I will, and you betcha it’ll hurt”, prompting Lola to scurry even faster to keep up, her Chanel bag flopping against her body as she ran. “Oh my god Lola this is cruel and unusual punishment. I think I’m going to pass out from all this exercise”, muttered Sheridan, valiantly trying to keep up with Mimi in bursts of energy, her stiletto heels wobbling from the impact. “Hey Mimi wait for us!! Whatever happened to the phrase no man gets left behind ?!” Sheridan yelled, brushing aside a stray toddler, only to receive a death glare from Mimi who at this time, was running up the escalator. “Man…if I had a pair of balls, they would have been shriveled by that look.” Meanwhile, oblivious to the pain of her beloved friends and co-workers, Mimi bounded up the second set of escalators, turning back only to roll her eyes in exasperation and jab furiously at the air with her perfectly manicured forefinger.
“I’m going to die. I’m seeing spots”
“If you die you know she’s going to keep on going until she gets her hands on The Book right? It’s not like she’s going to come back to check if you’re ok. And if she does, you better make sure you’re really dead for having her backtrack and waste 2 minutes”
“Good point. Oh thank God I see the bookstore.”
Lola and Sheridan burst into the shop, clinging onto each other for support. They finally saw Mimi badgering the store clerk furiously. “He looks like he should be waving a chair and whip at Mimi to keep her away,” hissed Lola.
“Oh God I think I burst a lung,” panted Sheridan.
“Suck it up, you have another one!” yelled Mimi, who by this time had trotted over with 3 copies of “Lover Unbound” cradled in her hands.
Lola, Sheridan and Mimi looked down at the books in reverent awe, drew a collective breath, and squealed in unison, much to the amusement of the entire queue of people at the cashier. All three stood in line clutching the plastic wrapped book tightly to their bosom, releasing their death grips only to occasionally pat Mimi on the shoulder.
“Mimi, I don’t know what to say. Thank y–. Mimi? Lola where did she go?”
“I think she kinda ran out of the store after she slammed her cash down on the counter”
“Oh. Well okay, see you tomorrow then. We’ll have a discussion during lunch!”
Having said their goodbyes, the remaining ripmybodice girls parted, each rushing home as fast as they could so they could each offer their individual thanks to the Romance gods and their own personal BDB shrines. Tearing open the plastic wrapper encasing their beloved much anticipated book, the girls began to read….to be continued.
cutepolishgirl68 said,
September 14, 2007 @ 12:58 am
NNNNOOOOOO!!!!
Life is unfair! You lucky wenches. There I was reading your post, my heartbeat was pounding, hyperventilation was coming on, I was getting giddy -damn it -just like I was a school girl approaching my first crush. Then a cold bucket of reality crashed down on me!
I just called the local Barnes & Noble here in Virginia Beach and the book is not coming out unitl October 2nd. I will have to reread the earlier books again while I wait. I figure -calculating total hours from now until then, and subtracting actual work hours, taking care of kid and husband hours, cleaning hours, errands hours, cooking hours and sleep hours….okay nevermind the cooking and sleeping hours….I should be able to read each book 3 more times by the 2nd.
I Love to hear what you girls have to say, but pretty please for this one time, do not give out a lot of info-UGGGHHH!
I am pitifully jelaous of you!
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
September 14, 2007 @ 9:53 am
Hi cutepolishgirl68! It is REALLY REALLY good (despite the cop-out in the end (and no I’m not telling what it is)). Read with a box of tissues and a glass of water for rehydrating purposes. And since the book is thicker than Butch’s book, I suggest getting comfy wherever you are going to be reading it because you aren’t going to want to put it down.
Mimi is going to be posting the review of V’s book…when she emerges from wherever she is. She’s kinda still MIA.
PS - I know JR Ward mentioned on her website that the sex scenes in V’s book would be pretty hot and all I can say is…man, she truly raised the bar on this one. *fans self*
PPSS - Whichever Brother you thought you liked/wanted will be a pale choice next to V.
La Lola said,
September 14, 2007 @ 10:26 am
“Read with a box of tissues and a glass of water for rehydrating purposes.”
I second that. The number of cucumbers I had to cut up and lay over my eyes was unreal. Thank God also for my Benefit Depuffing Eye Gel. GODSEND.