The Corporate Raider and Me
“The Billionaire Next Door” by Jessica Bird
The world of Romance novels brings many a variety of Alpha Heroes. Some not quite human, some aristocratic Lords/Dukes/Earls/Princes of a manor of sorts, some athletic (Hellooooo Bobby Tom!), some handicapped, and some, yummy Scottish lairds/warlords. All deliciously sexy in their own way, and most, Sheridan would love to jump in a dark alley. Yeah alright ALL of them okay? Except the…battery operated one arm guy. It is also no secret, here in the ripmybodice.com offices and on this our fair website, that I have a deep everlasting love for Matthew Farrell. So of all the Alpha Heroes I love and would jump in a dark alley, the boy from the school of hard knocks turned billionaire corporate raider is the one Alpha Hero I’d jump, knock out, then drag back home, only to tie him to my bed ala “Misery†style. It’s no wonder therefore when Lola said “hey! Jessica Bird has a new book out about a billionaire corporate rai—-“, I was running to the bookstore like a crackwhore prostitute running from her pimp. Not that I’ve had any personal experience or anything. No seriously.
Sean O’ Banyon is the Alpha Hero in “The Billionaire Next Door†and boy if his stunning good looks, ripped body, genius mind and bank account doesn’t do it for you, please note that his initials spell out “S.O.B.â€. And oh boy is he ever one. So hot. Sean heads the Mergers & Acquisitions arm at Sterling Rochester and at thirty six, plays with the big boys up on Wall Street, is intensely successful, charming, polished, cultured and a killer negotiator. Sean honey, Sheridan loves all things to do with Mergers & Acquisitions. Truly. Call me. I have a merger proposal for you that will burn your Hermes tie off.
Unsurprisingly, Sean has trust issues. All the women he’s ever dated are gold-diggers and he’s become cynical enough to insist on going dutch with every woman he dates, and (oh yes, let’s not forget the hallmark of a truly cynical Alpha Male) he never stays the night. Sean also has a dark past – his daddy was a raging alcoholic who used to beat up his sons whenever he got too far into the bottle (which was every other night) and so it wasn’t hard to understand my Sean’s total lack of emotion when he got the phone call from Lizzie (our plucky nurse nightingale heroine) informing him of the death of his father. Oh Sean, come to Sheridan. Let me soothe your childhood fears with my hug. Just let me take off my coat first and oops whaddaya know? I’m nekkid. Anyhoo, Sean returns to his old house down in South Boston and runs into Lizzie, who just happens to be his daddy’s tenant living in the apartment downstairs. Lizzie is the fresh faced girl he never knew (literally since she doesn’t seem to wear any make-up), poor, struggling to take care of her handicapped mother, compassionate, genuine, kind, unders —- nagudiszzzzzzzzzzzzzz… oh sorry. Must have dozed off there for a minute. Let’s get back to Sean! Sean’s real surprised that anyone (i.e. Lizzie) could ever show genuine affection for his late father and so jumps to the immediate conclusion that they were lovers. An conclusion slightly out of the ordinary I suppose, but my Sean is brilliant and also tired from having run major deals so let’s give him a break okay?
No prizes for guessing (and much to my broken heart and weeping), Sean and Lizzie are strongly attracted to each other and when Lizzie goes to wake Sean up from his nightmare (that hussy!), he drags her on top of him and has his way with her. Until she tells him that she hasn’t done the horizontal tango in so long it’s almost as if her V-card was returned to her or grew back. Sean is unwilling to go back to sleep by himself in the house which is filled with nothing but bad memories of his abuse and asks tentatively if he could sleep downstairs with her. As in “sleep sleep†he says, then rolls his eyes as if disgusted with himself for suggesting something so lame. Awwww Seanie! Schoooo cute!! Lizzie, the red-blooded intelligent woman that she is, agrees and shares her bed with Sean, waking up to find that he had “chased†her across the bed and is squished up against her, curled against her back, his head cuddling against her nape. No, that’s not the sound of a coyote wailing. That’s me.
Sean persuades Lizzie to spend the day with him and they head to the park, where he saves her face from being annihilated by a runaway Frisbee. Awww…a regular knight in shining armor is my Sean. He foregoes his strict policy of going dutch with his date, paying for their expensive Italian meal and her ice-cream, conscience-stricken at her moonlighting two jobs a day to support a crazy nutso handicapped mother. Which I suppose is Jessica Bird’s way of saying “he’s falling in loveâ€. Incidentally, I found all the conversations Lizzie’s mother had with her intensely hysterical which I think unfortunately wasn’t intentional on the part on the author. Anyway, when Sean and Lizzie finally go all the way in her tiny apartment (driving her nearly newly formed virginity into oblivion (Sean’s very well endowed)), reality comes crashing through the ceiling in the form of Sean’s lawyer and friend, who informs him (via blackberry) that the billion dollar M&A deal has hit a wall and the parties demand Sean’s presence at the negotiating table. With a cursory “I’ll call youâ€, Sean vamooses from Lizzie’s apartment and doesn’t call her until about four days later, by which time, she’s hopping mad. He also takes this opportunity to tell her who he is by asking her to “google†his name once he ascertains that she is near a computer. No longer hopping mad, Lizzie’s pissed off. When he tries to explain, she cuts him off, saying that his work schedule was no excuse because “if you want something, you make time for itâ€. Girlfriend clearly has no concept of how billion dollar deals work. Sean, I would understand honey. Though yes, you were wrong not to call Lizzie at all, but I understand. Work sometimes catches up with you. Call ME! (not her). I want to have your babies!!!
Anyway, against my pleading, Sean races to Lizzie’s apartment (despite the fact that he has to be back in New York in three hours) to right the wrong, to tell her that he wants to make it work with her; that he had missed her, and that he thought about her when they were apart. *Sniffle*. When she leaves for work the next morning, he insists on giving her a ride to her workplace, noting to himself that it felt so right being there when she started her day, fixing breakfast for her, driving her to work. The minute he drops her off, Sean runs to his meeting, conducts his business calls on the road just so he is able to make it back on time to pick her up from work; making time for her because he wants her in his life. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Sean come to meeeee!! Pick mEEE outside the ripmybodice.com offices! Sean I long for the day I can smugly walk into the meeting room to tell Lola and Mimi that my billionaire corporate raider hot boyfriend is downstairs in his Maserati so we’re going to have to cut the meeting short. Oh to dream the impossible dream; to fight the unbeatable foe; and to bear, with unbearable sorrow.
To cut this review short, since I need to go sit in a corner and weep into Sven’s shoulder soon, a misunderstanding ensues (and though by this point in the book I’d pretty much forgive Sean for murder, he wasn’t completely irrational in his assumptions) and the two are estranged. Much props however to Lizzie, who manages not to crumble, kneel or cry in front of Sean when he confronts her with his version of the truth. She merely throws it back at him, and storms out of the apartment with her dignity in tact. Of course months later, the two are reunited when Sean realizes that she wasn’t the gold-digger he thought she was, and he comes groveling back to her. Lola might at this point, wished Sean had groveled a tad bit more (she being the lover of all things Grovel) but I think Lizzie is one smart cookie who knew that it is not everyday that an Alpha Male like Sean arrives at your doorstep swathed in a Brooks Brothers suit and wanting your panties. In closing, all I can say is this:
(a) I cannot wait for V’s book;
(b) I too want a man to propose to me with a diamond the size of a thumb;
(c) Sean O’Banyon brings all kinds of sexy back;
(d) Sean O’Banyon has two brothers so…tril-o-gy! Tril-o-gy! Tril-o-gy!!; and
(e) Sean O’Banyon used to hang out with Butch O’Neal (Shout-out!!).
For those of you who are on a heightened state of BDB alert (and you know who you are), “The Billionaire Next Door†is a tasty morsel of a treat for you, that like a good shoe sale, should not be skipped.
Ma'mselle Mimi said,
September 10, 2007 @ 9:27 am
You just tell him not to scratch my Maserati when he’s parking. That’s the hot pink one with the blinged rims and (faux) fur lined steering wheel.
cutepolishgirl68 said,
September 11, 2007 @ 12:17 am
What’s doing????
I have September 25 circled, highlighted, and gold star stickered on my desk calendar, waiting for the BIG day.
In the meantime, I am reading Lola Carlyle Reveals All by Rachel Gibson. And Max is so alpha that he uses Lola’s toothbrush without asking. But the best part is when Lola (a recovering bulimic and ex-model that has since put on a good 25 pounds) admits to insecurities of her body size and shape. To which Max replies, ” I don’t like bony girls. I like women. Women with breasts and a hips and a butt that fits in my hands.” Then Lola realizes Max has big hands!
My only problem with this book is that Lola is all upset about feeling too large and curvy, but she is 5′11″ and 135 pounds after the weight gain of 25 pounds! I feel too curvy at 5′7′ and 150 pounds- and I say where is the justice, the fairness, the reality? In response to my own agony-All I can say is-Good thing I married a Latino that likes my curvy butt!! Does the BDB accept Latino men do you think? Maybe I could pass him off as a friend of Butch’s?
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
September 11, 2007 @ 8:52 am
Hi cutepolishgirl68! You have no idea how much we absolutely cannot wait for September 25! There’s a little pink counter set up at the main lobby by Mimi, that has been ticking down to D-day. Huh. I wonder what happens when it reaches zero…*edges away*. We too are owners of the curvy butt and proud of it! You should read Shannon McKenna’s “Edge of Midnight”. Not only is it all kinds of steamy hot with wild monkey sex (not literally), Sean McCloud’s utter worship of his curvy woman borders on the religious and psychotic. When she mentioned to him she wished she was thinner, well…let’s just say he manages to convince her that he loves her size 12 butt and C/D cup boobies over, and over, and over again. Rwwaaaar!
PS: The skinny jeans revolution is the work of the devil.
PPSS: The BDB rocks my world. Be sure to de-activate the mhis for us once you and your hubby are in the Mansion…can’t wait to get my hands on some BDB meat!
WandaSue said,
September 11, 2007 @ 11:20 am
Turn to page 144 of “The Billionaire Next Door.”
See a familiar name there (from the BDB?).
Yup, a connection between this series (O’Banyon bros) and the Black Dagger Brotherhood.
Wendy said,
September 11, 2007 @ 1:06 pm
Wassup on the 25th?
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
September 11, 2007 @ 2:34 pm
Hi WandaSue! Yeah you have no idea how loudly I squealed when Jessica Bird casually threw a reference to Butch in there. I cannot cannot wait for V’s book! It’s gonna be HOT.
Hi Wendy! 25th September 2007 is also known as the day when V’S BOOK ARRIVES!!!!! Bring on the whips, chains and leather (I’m not usually a fan of the hardcore S&M but for V, *pulls out a leather paddle* bring it on)!
Ma'mselle Mimi said,
September 11, 2007 @ 3:06 pm
MARK THAT DATE ON YOUR DIARY LADIES. Clear your schedules, unplug your phones. It’s gonna get hot and steamy with Mr V.
WandaSue said,
September 12, 2007 @ 4:22 am
Hey hey!
I wonder … does Butch revert to the Southie accent, the way Sean does? Hmm. I love Butch. Though “Brian” is good, too. Maybe better.
I love heroes with US/regional accents. Not so much that horribly over-used Texas “darlin’” thing (how many male Texans really speak that way??). But the Southie thing is just so yummy on Sean; the facade is down. And you know, I love the cover. I think that’s half the appeal, seriously.
WandaSue
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
September 12, 2007 @ 8:38 am
Heya WandaSue! I love Butch’s liberal use of “baby” whenever he’s talking to Marissa…and you know he’s not using it the way frat boys do when they are trying to get laid. You should read Bobby Tom’s book! (Susan Elizabeth Philips’s “Heaven, Texas”) that accent of his makes me wanna book the next flight to Texas and make out with the first man I see. The only thing that is stopping me is that knowing my luck, he’ll probably look like Richard Simmons.