I am the eye in the sky, looking at you, I can read your mind.
“Behind Closed Doors” by Shannon McKenna
So when “Behind Closed Doors” arrived in the post, I fell upon the package like that Japanese dude with the hot dogs. String was ripped apart and paper went flying (but bubble wrap was carefully put away so that La Lola could indulge in therapeutic bubble popping at her leisure).
My friends, “Behind Closed Doors” did not disappoint. Someone tell me, how do I find my real-life Seth Mackey, hero of afore-mentioned “Behind Closed Doors”? Because if I did, I would say to him, “Seth Mackey, make me yours in any way which is binding according to the rituals of human society. If you want to make me yours according to the laws of wolves (which La Lola hopes involves permanent marking, but please, don’t pee on me), this too is acceptable.”
Seth Mackey is seeking to avenge the death of his brother, Jesse, who was brutally murdered by this villainous dude called Novak. Seth also blames Victor Lazar, Machiavellian billionaire, for Jesse’s death. Seth therefore decides to get back at Victor any way he can, and bugs the home and conducts video surveillance over Raine Cameron, whom he believes to be Victor’s latest mistress. Seth runs a security company and as such, has access to lots of gizmos which he uses to invade Raine’s privacy. For example, he spies on her while she’s changing out of her clothes, he watches hungrily as she eats her dinner etc. Creepy you say? Mais oui, and yet Shannon McKenna writes this in such a way that you ignore the fact that Seth’s behaviour is borderline psychotic and instead, La Lola finds Seth’s obsession quite charming. So maybe I need my head checked, but heck, it’s my fantasy and I’ll be kinky if I want to!
And how Seth has compiled hours and hours of footage of Raine which he splices into a video montage of her? You say po-tay-to, I say po-tah-to (although really, who says po-tah-to??) You say “ammoral, sneaky, certifiable hound-dog”, La Lola says “awww, at least you know he cares.” Because let’s face it, La Lola wouldn’t be quite so magnanimous if Seth were a horny old man in a black trench playing a round of solitaire. The kind that doesn’t involve cards. Of course, such behaviour on the part of Seth is only excused because he’s gorgeous and built like Lego.
And seeing as how there is a giant sign in the foyer of the ripmybodice offices which screams “Alpha or Death,” you may already guess that such behaviour is accepted,
nay, approved of,
nay, awarded a blue ribbon by us.
Raine of course turns out to be like driven snow, yadda yadda, much to Seth’s relief. He then chooses to express his domination (in relief, I suppose) in rather electrifying fashion. O gentle reader, be forewarned. Do not read this book in socially unacceptable situations. Do you want to be at the bake sale having to explain to kindly Pastor John why it is you’re flushed redder than the soles of La Lola’s Christian Louboutin heels and whimpering “I want to be Mrs La Lola Mackey” over and over again?
I didn’t think so.
In case you haven’t realised it by now, this is clearly not going to be a romance where our heroine marries Bob the carpet salesman and he’s angry because she’s bought a brand of toilet paper that’s too scratchy. But it’s well worth it to give this book a try, if you’re in the mood for some escapism and criminal behaviour on the part of the hero. And I don’t mean criminal like, “oh, it’s criminal that Arrested Development got taken off the air!” More like, “you have been found guilty on 15 counts of stalking and are hereby sentenced to live in an igloo in Greenland where you’ll only bother the Eskimos” kind of criminal.
But I loved Seth Mackey. I want to marry him (even if it means living in Greenland. Are there Krispy Kremes in Greenland, does anyone know?) and cuddle with him all night and all day (because I heard it gets pretty cold out there in Greenland). Seth. You. Me. We’d be good together. You know we would. And what the hell. Privacy’s overrated anyway. You can invade my privacy (and so much more) any day. Just say the word!
Wendy said,
August 18, 2007 @ 4:03 am
Hey, if the hero doesn’t act in a way that would send you screaming into the night in real life, it’s just not a romance, is it?
La Lola said,
August 18, 2007 @ 8:56 am
Truer words were never spoken.
Bedelia said,
August 18, 2007 @ 4:46 pm
Yep, I would happily have a legal document drawn up and notarized, granting Seth Mackey the position of “Official Boyfriend.” Or really, any other position he might prefer…
La Lola said,
August 18, 2007 @ 7:42 pm
*raises glass of Grey Goose to Bedelia*
Hear hear!
Shannon said,
March 24, 2008 @ 12:27 am
This was the first Shannon McKenna novel I read and….DAMN, the sex in this book still sticks in my mind. Isn’t there a scene in the back of a car… ::fans self:: Hmmm, I wonder where my copy of that book went. I really must track it down. McKenna is going to the top of my library list. Her writing is scorching hot, not for the faint of heart.
Angielicious said,
April 23, 2008 @ 10:29 am
Because of your review I ran out and bought this book. After reading half way through this book, I have now ordered the rest of the McCloud series through Amazon!!! Like I said, I’m only half way through it and I LOVE it.
I can’t wait to read the entire series, so if you hear on the nightly news about a pretty pretty princess that experienced “spontaneous human combustion” that was me, while reading this series! HOT! HOT! HOT!
La Lola said,
April 23, 2008 @ 10:50 am
Angielicious, trust me when you get to Connor, you will DIE. But what a way to go! Welcome to the glorious world of Team McCloud!
Angielicious said,
April 26, 2008 @ 9:43 am
La Lola: Can’t wait till I get the Connor story from Amazon! I’m counting the days! I have “Extreme Danger” but I want to read Connor’s story first - but I can only hold off so long, so hopefully it’ll get here soon. I’ll let you know my thoughts on the book, if I don’t go up in flames prior to the ending!