Gucci gucci goo
“Sarah’s Child” by Linda Howard
OK, deep breath. How do I tackle this one? From my lazy meanderings across the annals of cyberspace (Stop sniggering Sheridan Sakura Carlotta, that’s two “Ns”. Sheesh) I have concluded that “Sarah’s Child” is a pretty polarising book. People seem to either hate it or love it. Me, there are parts of it I like, and parts of it which I think would be better placed within the confines of my garbage disposal.
Sarah Harper has been in love with Rome Matthews for yonks. He had been married to her best friend, and they had two young boys. Tragically, Sarah’s best friend and their sons died in a car accident, leaving Rome the grieving widower. Enough time has passed and Sarah can’t keep her feelings for Rome contained any longer. He finds out, and realises that he’s attracted to Sarah as well. While he loved his wife, he’s willing to make a new life without her, but what happened to his sons had been devastating to him. So although he’s willing to marry Sarah, he refuses to ever have children again.
For those of you who don’t like it when the hero has had a past relationship, you might want to stay away from this book. Yes, that means you Ma’mselle Mimi and SSC. I can see both of you inching towards the exit. *sigh* Go on then, round up Sven and Juan and go play naked Uno.
So as I was saying, Rome definitely has issues with what had happened to his family. Not that I blame him for that. It’s just that his emotional baggage has led him to be an even bigger ass wipe than I would expect from a hero. And that’s saying something.
All goes along swimmingly for a time. Sarah and Rome get married and settle down quite peacefully. Although Sarah is aware that Rome is holding a piece of his heart locked away from her, she doesn’t push him and instead wants to give him time. Hmmm…a patient woman, is our Sarah. Sadly, patience is a commodity much lacking here at ripmybodice, (along with the ability to tolerate ugly footwear) so I’m willing to suspend belief at Sarah’s apparent saintly demeanour.
Then Sarah gets preggers. Uh oh.What’s the phrase? It all goes to hell in a handbasket? Or an Anya Hindmarch “I’m not a plastic bag”, if you’re asking us. Rome isn’t too happy. In fact, you could say that he has flipped like the proverbial pancake with maple syrup, which La Lola just had for breakfast. Yummy! Rome does some pretty horrid things to Sarah. Nothing physical of course, just emotionally cruel. He tells her that he doesn’t want the baby, and when she tells him that she wants to keep the baby, his response is: “I don’t want the baby between us. Take care of it, yes, but when I come home at night, your time becomes mine. I want your attention, all of it, without you jumping and running every time it whimpers.” Bet now you’re thinking Homer Simpson looks like Father of the Year huh?
What does Sarah do? Again, she tries to give Rome some time to get used to the idea. Me, I would have told Rome what he could do with it and how far. It’s fine if you want to lock away your heart in a box Rome. But while you’re at it, why don’t you lock away your gonads too, since you obviously are unhappy that they work. What a treasure chest of delights that would be.
So while Sarah is pregnant, Rome doesn’t accompany her to the doctor’s. He doesn’t ask about the baby. When she’s in a chair and has trouble getting out of it, she knows that she can’t rely on him for help, because he will just watch her dispassionately. This all drags on until the day that she goes into labour, and he refuses to be in the delivery room with her. Honey, he had nine months to get used to the idea. Enough is enough!
When the baby’s born, he doesn’t even want to look at it! The baby is hidden away in the nursery like some sordid secret. La Lola’s heart breaks for the little mite, who has a doormat for a mother and a horse’s ass for a father. Poor little bit. Babies are so cute, imagine the little thing all bundled up in a Gucci romper suit! In the end of course, Rome comes around and Sarah takes one look at his no-good hound dog face and forgives him far too easily.
Me, I would have made Rome grovel as if his life depended on it. Which it probably would. Plus La Lola would have made Rome buy her a Tiffany’s celebration ring for every baby tooth that pops out in the little bit’s mouth. (Grow teeth baby! Grow teeth like there’s no tomorrow!) That’s the least that a woman would deserve after struggling with the pain and agony of squeezing a baby out with muscles which should never be subject to that amount of squeezing, you twit! OK SSC and Mimi, I’m done with my raniew, you can come back in now! Yikes! *claps hands over eyes* You never said you sucked at Uno!
Lady L said,
June 2, 2008 @ 12:02 am
OMG I use to play UNO when I was like eleven, but now I’m never gonna think about it the same way XD.
This book is for when you want to feel a lot, like a lot of anger towards the hero and sadness over the baby, the heroine and the hero too. Rome to me is a mistery, he accepts he got hard at his wedding to another woman because of the heroine, then he’s all tied up in knots because the heroine keeps out of his way while his married, to me he’s sort of like “I love my wife, but pleaaaaase give me a sign to make you my mistress” wich is disgusting but anyway, then you have to take into account that his life is totally screwed up now, and he has a major trauma over his other children deaths. All in all, I didn’t hate it, it’s a good story very entertaining and emotionally draining.