Blow me a raspberry
“Suddenly You” by Lisa Kleypas
When you’re thirty and feeling blue,
Let La Lola tell you what to do.
Amanda Briars decided to hire
A male hooker, to quench her desire.
But in a strange, bizarre twist of fate,
The guy who appeared and she thought her date,
Was actually her soon-to-be boss—
Publisher, scoundrel (and gorgeous of course).
Jack Devlin, bastard son of a nobleman,
Decided to oblige her as no other can.
Imagine Amanda’s pained surprise
When the man she had thought of as her penis prize
Revealed himself (no, not that way)
As the employer that she has to face by day.
And since it’s the year 1836,
People liked to pretend that spinsters didn’t want dicks.
So Amanda decides— what the hell.
They’ll have an affaire and hope no one tells.
And indeed they continue for quite some time
Until Mandy decides, although the sex is sublime,
That it’s time to call an end to the fun
Before some serious damage is done.
Like her losing her heart to my man Jack,
Which is easy to do as he has no lack
Of charm and looks and aggressive power
Mmmm… La Lola needs a cold shower.
Of course Jack ain’t happy but what can he do
But retreat and put away his marvellous love tool.
And then Fate that fickle and capricious lady
Has Amanda find out that she’s carrying a baby.
Does Amanda have the brains to confess to
Jack that she’s pregnant so he can alleviate her distress?
Well no, because that would surely be too easy
And would also mean that Lisa Kleypas was lazy.
So Mandy the Mental decides to marry
Her boring guy friend, so that he can be the daddy.
Then Jack finds out he’s about to become a father
And insists that he will marry Amanda rather
Against her will, because as I’ve said, she’s a dummy
And has only slightly more intelligence than a bunny.
Jack and Amanda discover they like being married
And all goes well until poor Amanda miscarries
The baby, and so she shuts Jack out of her life
And declares she doesn’t want to be his wife.
At first poor Jack is bewildered and very lost
But then he decides to show Amanda who’s boss.
For dessert, Amanda is having raspberries and cream
And boy does Jack use that to make her scream.
He takes the berries and in an inventive way
Uses them for his Devlinish sex play.
La Lola was amazed, her eyes popped they did,
(Although methinks Jack could have used a bib.)
Well it must have worked because Jack convinces
Amanda to remain as his beloved missus.
And they live happily ever after as the story goes
With two rugrats stepping all over their toes.
The moral of the story is that berries have their uses
(Although this really depends on the hero who chooses).
Dessert can always make La Lola laugh
Coz honey, sometimes love just ain’t enough.
Marg said,
June 4, 2007 @ 4:52 am
Loved this book! Great review as usual!
La Lola said,
June 9, 2007 @ 1:08 am
Thanks you guys!
Next poem is dedicated to you both.
Betty B said,
June 10, 2007 @ 4:31 pm
Genius! Truly fun read!
sesso said,
June 20, 2007 @ 4:19 pm
i’am really impressed!!
LadyCurvyA.K.APHR said,
November 20, 2009 @ 3:22 am
Jack was REALLY amazing … Lolzz … and everything else … Loved the book and the review, too …