The Older Man and his Young Thang.
“When Strangers Marry” by Lisa Kleypas
I really seem to be stuck in the town of “uhm…eeewww…inappropriate much?!” these last few days, which somewhat disturbs me because if this is going to be some sort of sign of all the books I’m going to be reading this month, I’m going to be more disturbed coming out of the end of June than before I went in. Don’t know if you guys know this, but there are like 30 days in June and judging by the way I seem to keep missing the exit out of the town of “uhm…eeewww…inappropriate much?!”, it looks like I’m going to soon be reading and reviewing books about inappropriate brother-sister love, monkey love, first-cousin love, *old people* love (like…with REALLY OLD people having hot sex) etc etc. You see where I’m going here? Yes. Not. Good.
You see, in today’s review of Lisa Kleypas’s “When Strangers Marry”, we have the hero, the number one suspect in the murderer of his first wife Maximilien Vallerand, who lusts after the plucky, strong-willed, red haired heroine Lysette Kersaint who happens to be about the same age as his twin boys. It’s all very Woody Allen meets J. Howard Marshall (aka Anna Smith’s sugar daddy) but without the huge boobs and blonde hair. Oh but with red hair. And Maximilien is way, way, *way* hotter than Woody Allen and J. Howard Marshall so…you know I guess the analogy doesn’t quite…work. Hmm.
Anyhoo, as earlier mentioned, Lysette is our plucky, strong-willed red haired heroine who runs away from home because her step daddy beats her and she is soon found in/near the swamp by Max’s two twin boys. Except when they find Lysette, she has cunningly bound her breasts and disguised her appearance to make it seem like she is NOT a boy because she is exceedingly cunning like that. Max of course, sees through not only her disguise because you see, Max has this special love tool that can detect such things. Let’s name him Little Maxy Waxy. Max also has special secret powers to help him ascertain whether or not a certain damsel in distress has been beaten. It’s called the inappropriate undressing of a stranger in the middle of your study against the will of said stranger who happens to be the peer of your children. Max finds out quickly that Lysette has also run away because she does not want to marry a certain someone that her hog-swill of a step daddy has picked out for her and who, by the magic of pure coincidence, is the sworn enemy and most hated person of Max. So, a light bulb goes off in Max’s head (as well as his pants) and he decides not to turn her over to her family, allowing her refuge at his mansion until Lysette has written to her cousin seeking permission to go live with her. You see, Max thinks Lysette’s intended murdered his first wife (since they were having an affair) so in some warped way, he thinks it right to therefore “steal” Lysette away from him. It’s very Connor-esque of Julie Garwood’s classic, “The Wedding”. Sigh. Connor. Hot, hot, hot Connor.
Lysette’s family naturally hears wind of her appearance at the notorious Vallerand household and comes storming up the path to get her. Max lies and says Lysette is dangerously ill and cannot be moved so the family leave grudgingly and Lysette lives to hide another day. Except then she really does get sick and Max stays by her bed the entire time, soothing her while she lies in bed naked. Again. Please will somebody find me the exit out of this damn town?!
Lysette gets better, Max propositions her with marriage, citing intense sexual chemistry as one of the many reasons why they should marry, her freedom being the other. To his credit, if one can put the whole inappropriate-ness of it all into a little steel-lined box, dig a whole in the ground and put the box in the ground, the book isn’t really bad. Max is utterly charming as the older man who seems like he just wants to be loved and not seen as a murderer since his own mother and twin son have already condemned him. Although Max does play off the whole “I don’t care what people think about me” attitude, he really does care because his suspicious involvement with his wife’s murder has cast his family’s reputation into mud. The kind that you can’t wash off. I don’t really know whether there is such a kind of mud that doesn’ wash off but you get the picture. Max and Lysette marry, and it isn’t long before Lysette starts snooping around in Max’s dead wife’s past, much to the chagrin of Max at first, then Max’s momma, Max’s twin son Justin, and Max’s younger brother. Wow methinks that if that many people are unhappy with me about me doing something, me would stop. But sadly, Lysette was not blessed with the use of her brain and she doesn’t stop.
No surprises for guessing that Lysette eventually gets into a lot of trouble for it which inevitably gets Max into trouble as he ends up beaten, with a noose around his neck toward the end of the book. If I do the whole box compartmentalizing into a deep hole in the ground thing, I would say that Max and Lysette truly compliment each other. She even fits in well with Max’s two boys and they come to view her as a strong step-mother figure in their lives and respect her. Never mind that she is the same age as…oh wait wait. Box. Hole. Ground. Got it.
Yes having said that, there were some pretty hot sex scenes too between them, the most memorable involved Lysette sitting on the table, and Max sitting in a chair. Let your gutter minds run free my friends. Also, if anyone knows where I am, come and find me. Save me before I take another wrong turn further into the town of “uhm…eeewww…inappropriate much?!” where really then by that point, there won’t be enough alcohol in the world to make it right ever again.
Terri said,
June 15, 2007 @ 2:23 am
Hello. The original version of this book is called “Only In Your Arms” and is from 1992.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
June 15, 2007 @ 8:53 am
Indeed! From what I gather from the blurb at the back, “Only In Your Arms” aka “When Strangers Marry” was her first book and she changed the title because her mama told her it wasn’t…memorable or something like that. Gotta give props to a girl who listens to her mama!
Dulce said,
May 27, 2008 @ 3:12 am
Have y’all read the second book to the dysfunctional Vallerand clan, Only With your Love? It deals with the rascally twins, in particular the bad boy one.
La Lola said,
May 28, 2008 @ 9:38 pm
Indeed I have Dulce! Although I still preferred the first book though. I’ve never been a big fan of the whole “falling in love with his brother’s wife” plot. Anyway, who wants the sons when you can read about the hott older man. *shiver* Maximillien….
Dulce said,
May 29, 2008 @ 12:19 am
Word sista! I was just being nosy and wanted to know if any of you gals had read it. I preferred the 1st one always. I had no respect for the heroine in Only With Your Love and the hero come to think of it, also.