Send in the clowns
“Kiss an Angel” by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Other kids dreamed of running away to join the circus. When I was a wee chicky duck, I dreamed of becoming Barbie’s fashion consultant (that hot pink leather needs a little something more, darling. Too understated. It’s a wonder that Mattel never had a class action suit filed against them for weaning lots of prepubescent little girls on whore fashion.). It was either that, or run away to join Jem and the Holograms.
So what, you might ask, has suddenly made me, um, about a decade later, decide that I want to run away and join the circus? Simply, Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Now, I know that my partner in crime, Sheridan Sakura Carlotta, stands by the Chicago Stars football series by SEP. In fact, she has been known to accost hapless hunks in Chicago, with a football in one hand and a martini in the other, demanding to know if they are members of the NFL. But for me, SEP’s greatest book is ”Kiss an Angel” otherwise known as That Carnie Book.
The heroine is Daisy Deveraux, the seemingly flighty illegitimate daughter of a well-known diplomat with links to Russia. He arranges for Daisy to marry Alexander Romanov Markov, the whipmaster (be still my rapidly palpitating, lust-filled heart) at a travelling circus. For those of you history buffs, or at the very least, those of you who watched “Anastasia” and remember something other than Bartok the Talking Bat, you might recall that the Romanovs were the royal family of Russia in the early 20th century. Alex is believed to be the grandson of the Russian crown prince. Royalty, AND good with a whip. La Lola has found her dream man.
Alex and Daisy are joined in a marriage of convenience and Alex doesn’t reveal to Daisy that he is actually an extremely wealthy academic/ consultant in Russian art who is on sabbatical, and instead lets her believe that he is a wastrel, never-amount-to-anything guy adept with whips and not much else, who happens to live on a circus. It helps that Alex doesn’t look at all like a circus exhibit, and is instead a gorgeous dark haired specimen of manhood. Siegfried and Roy he is not. Alex is also incredibly buff because he spends the whole day practicing with his whip. (C’mon, you really thought I would miss a chance to slip that one in?)
Daisy on her part, is sweet and intelligent and more than willing to stand up to Alex. She becomes part of his whipping performance at the circus, and also forms a rather odd psychic connection with a Siberian tiger called Sinjun. No prizes for guessing what happens next. Daisy falls in love with him (Alex, not Sinjun), but Alex (as the victim of child abuse by his wretched, villainous moustache twirling uncle) when he was younger, has cut himself from all forms of emotional ties, including the possibility of having a family. But Daisy is patient and understanding, and slowly manages to thaw Alex’s feelings.
Just when it appears that Alex is finally willing to admit how much he loves Daisy, SEP, with her ingenious way of torturing readers and throwing a spanner in the works, has Daisy end up pregnant. And when she confesses it to Alex, he demands that she get an abortion. What happens is a master stroke that even I never saw coming. In the performance which follows, Alex isn’t paying attention because his mind is on the fight with Daisy, and accidentally whips her across the stomach. As Alex runs over and picks up the prone Daisy from the dusty big-top floor (eew, elephant poop) and carries her out of the arena and carefully tends to her injuries, praying to himself all the while that she will be fine, I defy anyone with working tear ducts not to get emotional.
By now the tables are turned and Alex is the one who pursues the relationship, as Daisy fights him off. She runs away when he is out buying baby products like Doctor Spock books, a rattle and a lop-eared toy bunny as a tangible sign of how he has changed his mind about the baby (everybody together now, awwwww…) Personally, I would rather a pair of Gucci baby booties, but that could just be me. Alex manages to find her, but now he has to fight for her love, as Daisy has decided that she wants nothing to do with him.
He castigates himself with the fact that when she left him, she had to take two jobs while he had three cars and a house full of priceless art. La Lola’s cynical black heart melts. When Alex mistakenly thinks that Daisy lost the baby due to his folly, he wants to throw back his head and howl. La Lola cries crystalline tears. And when Daisy tells Alex that she no longer loves him, and he humbly responds “it’s all right sweetheart, I love you enough for the both of us,” that banshee cry is La Lola screaming for a circus freak of her own.
Eventually Daisy realises how much Alex has changed and how much he loves her, and Daisy, Alex and Sinjun the Siberian Tiger live happily ever after, thankfully moving back to Alex’s mansion in Conneticut.
Oh goody, I hear the circus is in town.
Ma'mselle Mimi said,
April 23, 2007 @ 6:30 pm
There was an ABUNDANCE of romantic scenes (beautiful loving and tender scenes). FABULOUS groveling. And hot HOT sex. I heart this book!! I too want to be buried with this!!
“It’s all right sweetheart, I love you enough for the both of us.â€
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *screams* I have never wanted to shovel shit and live in a crummy trailer so much in my life.
Lady L said,
May 31, 2008 @ 8:56 am
OMG I’ve been reading your reviews all day and I’m loving them.
I read this book like a year ago and I highly recommend it, he is one of my favorite cynical torture heroes.
La Lola said,
May 31, 2008 @ 4:17 pm
How’s it hanging Lady L, this is one of the books that will be buried with me when I die. Glad you like the reviews!
Lady L said,
June 1, 2008 @ 4:00 am
I’m loving them, I’m gonna come back regularly.
In this one I think you didn’t mention the baby elephan wich is such a cute touch!!! I loved the scenes with little Dumbo!
La Lola said,
June 1, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
Yeah, the elephant was so cute! He marginally lost out to Alex in the adorability competition. But Alex had a whip, which ultimately made him the winner.