“Lover Eternal” of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward

Have we ever mentioned how much we at ripmybodice headquarters love the Black Dagger Brotherhood? We must have. But in case we haven’t or you have forgotten or strange aliens came with probes in the middle of the night into your bedroom, let us say this: We LOVELOVELOVE the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Each of us have pledged ourselves to a different Brother. It is true. There was a ceremony in the pantry. We monitor each other for signs of “change” or “transition” (from gorgeous fabulous human to gorgeous fabulous vampire), squint at sunlight and wait anxiously for the day a leather-clad male comes for each and everyone of us and carry us off to the Brotherhood Mansion. As per the ceremony in the pantry, I, Sheridan Sakura Carlotta pledged my undying love and fabulous self to Rhage, the cursed blonde warrior so beautiful human males turn away in shame when he walks by. Fabulous.

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“Outlander” by Diana Gabaldon

>>> Sheridan Sakura Carlotta 12/27/2006 4:31:18 PM >>>
And now I’m bored. Stupid internet can’t even work for me to surf the net man. SIGH.

>>> La Lola 12/27/2006 4:33 PM >>>
i wonder what reviews we should do next?
a) the duke
b) PARADISE: YOU HAVE TO DO A REVIEW!!
c) something wonderful: i will do this one…
d) outlander: you, coz i ain’t touching it with a ten foot barge pole
e) this truly repugnant book i read where the hero CHEATS ON HIS HANDICAPPED WIFE REPEATEDLY. Castration is too good for parasitical pond scum like this.

>>> Sheridan Sakura Carlotta 12/27/2006 4:48:01 PM >>>
i refuse REFUSE to do a review of outlander! it sucks! that would involve me having to like..semi-read it again and NO!

>>> La Lola 12/27/2006 4:50 PM >>>
yeah… but that one i don’t think i can do a good review on it…. i have to do one for a book i feel strongly about. do you think it’s very sad that when my friend asked if i want to catch a movie, i said no, coz i want to rush home to catch “Megaladon: Attack From the Deep”? but i can’t help it!!! i love shark movies!!

>>> Sheridan Sakura Carlotta 12/27/2006 4:54:03 PM >>>
it’s MEGALADON: ATTACK FROM THE DEEP. no seriously. It’s not even jaws. it’s like B grade jaws.

i can’t do a review for it. i barely read it and the parts i did read i absolutely wanted to tear out of the book and i’m scared if i do a ‘i hate this book’ review i will get death threats. i’m too young and pretty to have death threats! people LOVE the book! you said it was ranked no.2 in some all time romance book list thingy.

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“Enslaved” by Virginia Henley

We here at ripmybodice are not all work work work. Contrary to popular belief that we are overachieving slave drivers who tirelessly work to make the world a better place by boldly sacrificing ourselves (and our hair) in reviewing romance novels so you know what NOT to read, we would like for you to know that we do let our hair down (or what’s left of it anyway) once in a while. And thus, we bring our fun to you.

We present: The ripmybodice Enslaved drinking game 2007 (limited ed.)This is what you need to play the game - First, go to your nearest fine liquor store and select for yourself, your alcohol of choice (although we here at ripmybodice are partial to chocolate martinis, we make an exception when playing the “ripmybodice Enslaved drinking game 2007″ and use such fine hard liquor such as vodka absolut). Then, buy/rent/borrow/steal Virginia Henley’s Enslaved from us or your neighborhood bookstore/library.

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Passionate Thirst, Luscious Craving and Eternal Hunger:
Candace Steel Vampire Killer Novels - by Cameron Dean

OK, so I have BDB withdrawal symptoms right. So when the girl at my regular bookstore recommends a new vampire trilogy series, I’m like hell yeah! Since the mere mention of fangs is likely to get me to wet my panties (figuratively of course).
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“Lover Awakened” of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward

You know you’ve got it bad when instead of going about your normal routine, your day is spent huddled over the computer feverishly looking for new information about The Brotherhood (no, I am not a member of the Aryan Nation).

For the uninitiated, welcome to the wonderful world of the Black Dagger Brotherhood, where daggers, hip hop and hot, killer vampire warriors come out to play and political correctness gets checked at the door. Remember all those old Romance novel stereotypes, where the vampires were called Jean-Claude, Pierre or Pepe le Peu, and swished around in poncy capes and had the general menace of a 2 day old diabetic kitten? Well this is a new breed of vampire. Say hello to Wrath, Rhage, Zsadist, Vishous, Phury, Tohrment, Rehvenge and Butch, the vampires of the 21st century. (And no Ma’moiselle Mimi, the names aren’t spelt that way because of their lisping fangs!!)

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“His Wicked Kiss” of the Knight Miscellany series by Gaelen Foley

Ah romance series… what would we do without them? It seems like most authors nowadays are doing connected books. All I can say is, Regency England would have had to be more populated than Calcutta, given the number of aristocratic families with seven or more gorgeous children running around, all discovering love. But when it leads us to a series like Gaelen Foley’s Knight Miscellany, bring on the sequels!
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“Dancing with Clara” by Mary Balogh

Never have high expectations. I learned this the first time when I was 6 and was supposed to go on my back-to-school shopping trip with my mother to buy stationery and a new school bag. When you’re 6, stationery assumes a very important role in your life. (Still does, come to think of it). But I got flu, and had to stay home while my mum went to buy my stuff for me. So my 6-year old self thinks that the task has been placed in Mummy’s capable hands. How far wrong can you go with a shopping list that says: Schoolbag -  Little Twin Stars ONLY. Stationery— Little Twin Stars ONLY.

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“Heart of Gold” by Jessica Bird aka JR Ward

You know, I never understood the whole same author, different pen name practice in the romance genre, or the said authors trying to desperately assure us that indeed, they are different people. Take for example, the great Nora Roberts who has produced her ”In Death” series as JD Robb. Now if you tell me that Nora Roberts is writing under the penname of JD Robb I’d think, fine, maybe she’s wanted by the mafia or maybe she has a split personality disorder you know? Nora Roberts all goody goody run-of-the-mill Romance novels; JD Robb, all futuristic with gory and rather twisted murder scenes. Go ahead and write as JD Robb! (so long as you and I and everyone else in the free world know what’s really going down) But don’t, for the love of everything sacred like The Grovel and the Alpha Male, publish books which says “Nora Roberts and JD Robb”. Cos girlfriend seriously. How exactly does that work? Do you have 2 computers side by side where you, as Nora Roberts write one paragraph and then you run into your room, change into a fresh set of writing clothes, appear and then sit in the other computer and type as JD Robb? No seriously ‘cos if that is so, please someone make it into a reality “fly-on-the-wall” series (aka Big Brother) because I would so totally watch that.

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“Dark Lover” by JR Ward

To start, let me say I am not a fan of paranormal romance. I prefer contemporary romance novels set in the corporate world for I am by nature, slightly delusional and therefore think that one day, yes one day, that I will be that girl who finds a corporate raider/billionaire CEO of my own to love and to hold. Now, I’d rather be mated to a member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood (the BDB for short), and I don’t care which one. But maybe Rhage or Wrath…no wait! I want Vishous…no wait…I…man I’m so confused.

Dark Lover is the first book in the BDB series written by the amazing JR Ward (or “Warden” as she is affectionately known as on the BDB message boards) and it is so good, it left this hardcore romance junkie who has read almost every romance plot device possible breathless and speechless.

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Dear Ms McNaught,

We are your biggest fans (No, that wasn’t us hiding behind your dustbin last night/ going through your trash this morning. Scouts honor!). As such, we thought it best to stage an intervention because we love you and this is for your own good.

STOP WRITING ROMANCE SUSPENSE!

Stop it! No! No buts! Step away from the computer! Put the pen down!

Here have a seat. How about a nice cup of warm tea to calm you nerves? You have to listen very carefully to what we are about to say because, as much as it pains us to say it, you have to hear it or you will lose us as your biggest fans and seriously, who would want that right? Ok so here’s the awful truth:

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