It’s a Christmas miracle!
“Double Standards” by Ms Judith McNaught
And yet another review of a book by the incomparable Ms Judith McNaught. In this case, it’s “Double Standards” which is yet another tale of gorgeous corporate raiders and the women who love them, oodles of money and corporate espionage. Oh and let’s not forget the hot sex.
“Double Standards” is set in the high-flying business world of Chicago. Really. What is it with Chicago? Is it something in the drinking water? All I know is, I gotta get my dimpled ass there asap. Nick Sinclair is a gorgeous, hot and indecently wealthy corporate raider, who has Mommy-issues because his mother didn’t want him when he was young, and gave him up to his father after she remarried. And also issues with buying women presents, because he bought his mother a Christmas present when he was a little tyke and she rejected it and him. (That was a bloody tragic scene man!! Poor Nicky. Come, rest your head on my bosom).
So he meets Lauren Danner, who by one of those wonderful coincidences which only happen in Romance Land, is the niece of his mother’s new husband. And Lauren has been asked to spy on Nick and this multi-gazillion dollar project he’s working on. So Lauren meets Nick, signs on as his secretary and there you have it, the ingredients for The Big Secret (da da da duuummmmmm). And as in all good JM books, you can see this coming a mile away. Kind of like how Wile E Coyote is planting explosives over the canyon as Road Runner’s racing by, and you just know that idiot coyote’s gonna end up as Acme dog food at the bottom of the canyon.
So at first Nick is just after Lauren and wants to divest her off her pants because why not? Did I mention that he’s a gorgeous, hot and indecently wealthy corporate raider? Lauren is a virgin but unable to withstand the nuclear attraction of Nick, sleeps with him. And proceeds to sit by her phone waiting for him to ring her up, while knitting a grey sweater to match his eyes. Yes, I can hear the outraged gasps from feminists everywhere, but get a grip, it’s just a romance novel. I on the other hand, have a little furrow between my brows and clutch my martini-holding hand to my heart because hello, a hand-made grey sweater? Tres tacky. Giving a hand-made article of woolen clothing to someone perpetually clad in Armani just says that you’re cheap girlfriend.
Where was I? Oh yes, the divine Mr Sinclair. Anyway, their paths cross again (surprise surprise) and this time, Lauren has wisened up and is pretty much immune to Nick’s sexual games. And Nick, unable to resist a challenge, is off and running after her. And this time, Nick’s jealous of all the attention she’s getting from other men, and admits to himself how much he’s come to care for her.
Think this is over? Not in JM world. Of course, then Nick finds out that Lauren was sent as a spy by his dastardly step-dad, and all hell breaks loose. He kicks her out into the cold without a coat, leaving her to walk 8 blocks in the cold. (Methinks that this is a slightly uncomfortable situation to be in). Eventually he finds out that Lauren wasn’t a spy after all, and he rushes off to look for her and grovel for his life.
This is when the fun starts. I swear, the scene where Nick goes to Fenster, Missouri to look for Lauren and beg her to take him back makes me want to deed poll my name and change it to Lauren Danner. Although I draw the line at living in Missouri. I can practically recite the next scene by heart, where Nick finds Lauren standing on a step-ladder in the living room decorating the Christmas tree, and she thinks that he’s her idiot brother, and without looking up, asks whether she should leave the star on top or replace it with an angel.
To which he says, “Leave the star on top, there’s already an angel in the room.”
Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Kill me now!!!!!!!!!!!!
She tries to edge past him, and when he grabs her to him, she pummels him and screams at him
“You made me beg! You made me beg!”
And as held her weeping body to him, he closed his eyes as her words slashed him like knives. (I swear, I do not have the book at my side as I am typing this. If only I had as good a memory for everything else in my life, as I do for romance novel dialogue. I am like the idiot savant of the romance world.) And he presents her with an enormous ruby necklace and matching earrings, as he begs her to come back to him.
Anyway, this scene is the stuff of legend. Me and my insane posse performed this as a Christmas pantomime one year (I was Lauren Danner, yay!) And my girl friend was Nick. This must be seen to be believed, because she’s a small bitchy Indian girl, and is hilarious as hell when she tries to go all “alpha wolf.”
Sighhhhhhh… this is my nativity scene.
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
March 21, 2007 @ 12:44 pm
Nick Sinclair is the “Olympic gold contender of the Bedroom Olympics”, insanely jealous (he flew into a jealous rage when she gave her boss his sweater) and incredibly charming (launched into a citation of how Lauren’s hair is “spun like fine gold” in the middle of a dictation to her). Yeah….like La Lola said, if only I could somehow hone my Romance memory skills and apply it to other areas of my life. Sigh. I HEART YOU NICK SINCLAIR! MARRY ME! MEEEEeee!!!
Ma'mselle Mimi said,
March 21, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
This was my first Judith McNaught contemporary. Actually I think it was my very first Judith McNaught!!
By the time I had finished reading the book I had already used up two boxes of Kleenex. Until that day, I had never read anything that made me sob before, much less to that extent!!! oh my god, the GROVELLING!!!! *runs to find the book to reread*
La Lola said,
March 21, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
I believe it was “United States contender for the Bedroom Olympics.”
Sheridan Sakura Carlotta said,
March 21, 2007 @ 5:55 pm
PFFT to you La Lola